{"id":2158,"date":"2019-02-22T16:53:26","date_gmt":"2019-02-22T16:53:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/circassiancenter.com\/tr\/?p=2158"},"modified":"2019-02-22T16:53:26","modified_gmt":"2019-02-22T16:53:26","slug":"kendini-sevmek-kendine-yetebilmek-demektir","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/kendini-sevmek-kendine-yetebilmek-demektir\/","title":{"rendered":"KEND\u0130N\u0130 SEVMEK: KEND\u0130NE YETEB\u0130LMEK DEMEKT\u0130R"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span class=\"auto-style83\" lang=\"tr\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: small;\"><strong>TLETSERUK Nahit Serbes<\/strong><br \/>\n<\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-family: Arial;\">29.03.2011<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: small;\">Kuzey Kafkasya halk etimolojisine (halk diline) g\u00f6re; \u00c7erkes toplumu xabze ad\u0131 verilen kurallarla y\u00f6netilmektedir, yani bu d\u0131\u015far\u0131n\u0131n, alan\u0131n, \u00e7evrenin, d\u00fczeni anlam\u0131na gelir. Xabze k\u00fclt\u00fcr\u00fc \u00fczerine yapmakta oldu\u011fumuz t\u00fcm bu \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmalar da bu alandan ve bu \u00e7evrelerden edinilen bilgiler \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, yaln\u0131zca iyi insan olma, sevgi ve ho\u015fnutluk \u00fczerine olu\u015fturulmaktad\u0131r. As\u0131l amac\u0131m\u0131z, gen\u00e7lerimizin, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n bilin\u00e7li, duyarl\u0131 ve hayat\u0131n her alan\u0131nda \u00f6rnek insan olabilecek \u015fekilde yeti\u015fmelerine vesile olabilmektir. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ocuklar\u0131m\u0131z bizim sevgimize ve \u015fefkat duygular\u0131m\u0131za emanet edilmi\u015f birer canl\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n<p>\u0130nsanlar\u0131n bir\u00e7o\u011fu sevilmediklerini ileri s\u00fcrerler. Bu nedenle b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fc\u00e7leriyle nas\u0131l sevimli insan olabilecekleri konusunda, gayret g\u00f6sterirler. Oysa as\u0131l sorun sevilmemekte de\u011fil, sevmeyi bilmemekte gizlidir.<\/p>\n<p>\u015eayet bir insan sevmeyi ba\u015farabiliyorsa, kendisini de seviyor demektir. Ama yaln\u0131zca ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131 sevmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorsa, kimseyi sevebilmesi m\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fildir.<\/p>\n<p>Hayat\u0131m\u0131zda en \u00f6nemli ili\u015fki kendimizle kurdu\u011fumuz ili\u015fkidir. Bir\u00e7ok ki\u015fiye kendisini sevip sevmedi\u011fi soruldu\u011funda, hi\u00e7 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeden evet cevab\u0131n\u0131 verecektir. H\u00e2lbuki insanlar duygular\u0131n\u0131 daha derin bir \u015fekilde inceleyecek olsalar, kendi kendilerinin en b\u00fcy\u00fck d\u00fc\u015fmanlar\u0131n\u0131n yine kendileri olduklar\u0131n\u0131 fark edeceklerdir. Kendimizi yarg\u0131lar, hatta bazen cezaland\u0131r\u0131r\u0131z; merhameti ise ba\u015fkalar\u0131na saklar\u0131z. H\u00e2lbuki kendimize de sevgiyle, \u015fefkatle, yakla\u015fmal\u0131y\u0131z. Zira unutmamal\u0131 ki, biz kendimize nas\u0131l davran\u0131rsak, ne kadar sayg\u0131 ve sevgi duyarsak, ba\u015fkalar\u0131 da bizi \u00f6yle sever ve sayar. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc kendini sevmek demek, kendine yetebilmek demektir.<\/p>\n<p>De\u011fi\u015fmek i\u00e7in ilk ad\u0131m, fark\u0131ndal\u0131kt\u0131r. \u00d6ncelikle kendimize nas\u0131l davrand\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zla ilgili d\u00fcr\u00fcst olmal\u0131y\u0131z.<br \/>\nMesela:<br \/>\nKendinizle nas\u0131l konu\u015fuyorsunuz?<br \/>\nKendinizden emin misiniz?<br \/>\nKendinize kar\u015f\u0131 kibar m\u0131s\u0131n\u0131z?<br \/>\nKendinizle bar\u0131\u015f\u0131k m\u0131s\u0131n\u0131z?<\/p>\n<p>E\u011fer insanlar\u0131n \u00e7o\u011fu gibiyseniz, d\u00fcz bir karn\u0131n\u0131z, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir burnunuz, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck kal\u00e7alar\u0131n\u0131z olmas\u0131n\u0131, daha ak\u0131ll\u0131 olmay\u0131, daha heyecanl\u0131 bir hayat\u0131n\u0131z olmas\u0131n\u0131 isterdiniz. Bizim d\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131zda, herkesin halinden memnun oldu\u011funu, kendine g\u00fcvendi\u011fini zannederiz. De\u011fi\u015fmek isteyen sadece bizizdir. \u015eu yan\u0131n\u0131zdaki kad\u0131n ne kadar \u015fansl\u0131d\u0131r ki b\u00f6yle g\u00fczel bir y\u00fcz\u00fc vard\u0131r, kar\u015f\u0131dan ge\u00e7en kad\u0131n\u0131n ne g\u00fczel bir ailesi vard\u0131r, arabadaki adam\u0131n ne kadar da iyi bir i\u015fi vard\u0131r. Oysa herkes ayni \u015fekilde hisseder. Herkes bir tak\u0131m konularda kendine g\u00fcvensizdir. Kuvvetle muhtemeldir ki onun da size bak\u0131p \u00f6zendi\u011fi bir y\u00f6n\u00fcn\u00fcz vard\u0131r.<\/p>\n<p>Kendimize nas\u0131l davrand\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 fark edebilince, bunu de\u011fi\u015ftirme g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc de kazanm\u0131\u015f oluyoruz. En de\u011ferli hedef kendi kendini sevmektir.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDaha zay\u0131f olunca halimden daha memnun olaca\u011f\u0131m, daha ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 olunca kendimi daha \u00e7ok sevece\u011fim, \u015funa benzeyince kendimi kabullenece\u011fim, ya da kendim gibi olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m zaman kendimi kabullenece\u011fim.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Hepimiz bu tip \u015feyler d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyoruz, fakat unutmay\u0131n kendinizi tamamen sevince olabilece\u011finiz en iyi insan haline gelebileceksiniz.<br \/>\nEn yak\u0131n arkada\u015f\u0131n\u0131za \u201cKilo verene kadar seni sevemem.\u201d Ya da \u201cM\u00fckemmel olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7in seni sevmiyorum. S\u00fcrekli her \u015feyi y\u00fcz\u00fcne g\u00f6z\u00fcne bula\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yorsun\u201d dedi\u011finizi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnebiliyor musunuz? Sanmam. Ama kendimize gelince b\u00f6yle konu\u015fmaktan \u00e7ekinmiyoruz.<\/p>\n<p>Hi\u00e7 kendini iyi hissetmeyen birine gidip onu ne\u015felendirmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131n\u0131z m\u0131? Ona iltifatta bulundunuz mu? Peki, birine ho\u015f bir \u015fey s\u00f6yledi\u011finizde, iltifat etti\u011finizde o ki\u015finin g\u00f6zlerindeki p\u0131r\u0131lt\u0131y\u0131 fark ettiniz mi? Ayn\u0131 \u015fekilde kendinize iltifat etti\u011finizde sizinde g\u00f6zleriniz \u0131\u015f\u0131ldayacakt\u0131r.<\/p>\n<p>Xabze, kendimizi sevebilmemiz i\u00e7in \u00f6nce anne ve babam\u0131z\u0131n en iyi evlad\u0131, evli isek e\u015fimizin en g\u00fczel hayat arkada\u015f\u0131, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131za en g\u00fczel ebeveyn, akrabalar\u0131m\u0131za en g\u00fczel akraba, kom\u015fular\u0131m\u0131za en g\u00fczel kom\u015fu, \u00fclkeye en g\u00fczel vatanda\u015f, otob\u00fcste en g\u00fczel yolcu, al\u0131\u015fveri\u015fte en g\u00fczel m\u00fc\u015fteri, arabam\u0131zda en iyi \u015fof\u00f6r olmam\u0131z\u0131 \u015fart ko\u015far. \u00d6zellikle canl\u0131ya kar\u015f\u0131 bir sayg\u0131 duyuyorsak, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131za da duymal\u0131y\u0131z. Onlara k\u0131zabiliriz, k\u00fcsebiliriz belki ama onlar\u0131n ki\u015filiklerini zedeleyemeyiz.<\/p>\n<p>\u0130nsanlarla olan ili\u015fkimizi insanl\u0131k adab\u0131 ile devam ettirmeli, takdir ve te\u015fekk\u00fcr\u00fc kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdakinden beklememeli, do\u011fru ve iyi olan\u0131 kendimiz tatbik etmeliyiz.<\/p>\n<p>Sak\u0131n zannetmeyin ki g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fcz M\u00fcsl\u00fcman, H\u0131ristiyan, Yahudi gibi inan\u00e7 sahipleri dinlerin ortak paydas\u0131 olan iyi insan olma \u00f6\u011fretilerini bilerek ya\u015f\u0131yorlar. \u0130nan\u00e7 sahiplerinin \u00e7o\u011funlu\u011fu adeta futbol tak\u0131m\u0131 taraftarlar\u0131 gibi ak\u0131l mant\u0131k kullanmadan her t\u00fcrl\u00fc zemin ve ortamda do\u011fru olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bildikleri baz\u0131 yanl\u0131\u015flar\u0131 savunuyorlar.<\/p>\n<p>Asl\u0131nda kutsal kitaplar, insanlar aras\u0131nda ay\u0131r\u0131m yapmaks\u0131z\u0131n onlar\u0131 okuyan herkese y\u00fcce Allah\u2019\u0131n \u00f6\u011f\u00fctlerini \u00f6\u011fretmekte ve yol g\u00f6stermektedir. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc hi\u00e7bir an yoktur ki o an yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z \u015feyler ve niyetler kay\u0131t alt\u0131na al\u0131nmas\u0131n.<\/p>\n<p>D\u00fcr\u00fcst, g\u00fczel ve huzur dolu bir hayat\u0131n insana kazand\u0131rd\u0131klar\u0131 hakk\u0131nda, doktorlar ve psikologlar taraf\u0131ndan kabul edilmi\u015f faydalar\u0131ndan baz\u0131lar\u0131 \u015funlard\u0131r:<\/p>\n<p><b>a) <\/b>Artan enerji ve canl\u0131l\u0131k<br \/>\n<b>b) <\/b>Derin s\u00fck\u00fbnet ve i\u00e7 huzuru<br \/>\n<b>c)<\/b> \u0130yi \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan bir sindirim sistemi<br \/>\n<b>d)<\/b> D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce berrakl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve dikkati yo\u011funla\u015ft\u0131rma yetene\u011fi<br \/>\n<b>e) <\/b>\u00d6zg\u00fcven<br \/>\n<b>f)<\/b> Ba\u011f\u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131k sisteminin g\u00fc\u00e7lenmesi<br \/>\n<b>g)<\/b> Derin uyku<br \/>\n<b>h)<\/b> Geli\u015fmi\u015f insani \u0130li\u015fkiler<br \/>\n<b>i)<\/b> Stressiz mutlu ya\u015fam<br \/>\n<b>j) <\/b>Empati (e\u015f duyum yetene\u011fi)<\/p>\n<p>Her insan\u0131n farkl\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesi ve anlay\u0131\u015f\u0131 olabilir. Ancak bu farkl\u0131l\u0131klar\u0131n insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n geli\u015fimi i\u00e7in bir zenginlik ve bir gereklilik oldu\u011funu da bilmek ve anlamak gerekir.<\/p>\n<p><i>Faydalan\u0131lan kaynaklar: Dr. Faruk Budak ve seslikuran.com<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>TLETSERUK Nahit Serbes 29.03.2011 Kuzey Kafkasya halk etimolojisine (halk diline) g&ouml;re; &Ccedil;erkes toplumu xabze ad&#305; verilen kurallarla y&ouml;netilmektedir, yani bu d&#305;&#351;ar&#305;n&#305;n, alan&#305;n, &ccedil;evrenin, d&uuml;zeni anlam&#305;na gelir. Xabze k&uuml;lt&uuml;r&uuml; &uuml;zerine yapmakta oldu&#287;umuz t&uuml;m bu &ccedil;al&#305;&#351;malar da bu alandan ve bu &ccedil;evrelerden edinilen bilgiler &#305;&#351;&#305;&#287;&#305;nda, yaln&#305;zca iyi insan olma, sevgi ve ho&#351;nutluk &uuml;zerine olu&#351;turulmaktad&#305;r. As&#305;l amac&#305;m&#305;z, gen&ccedil;lerimizin, 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