{"id":2209,"date":"2019-02-22T18:06:16","date_gmt":"2019-02-22T18:06:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/circassiancenter.com\/tr\/?p=2209"},"modified":"2019-02-22T18:06:16","modified_gmt":"2019-02-22T18:06:16","slug":"cerkeslerde-aile-mutlulugunun-sirri","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/cerkeslerde-aile-mutlulugunun-sirri\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00c7ERKESLERDE A\u0130LE MUTLULU\u011eUNUN SIRRI"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

TLETSERUK Nahit Serbes<\/strong>
\n<\/span><\/span>03<\/span>.02.2014<\/span><\/p>\n

\u0130nsan toplumunun yery\u00fcz\u00fcndeki en eski kurumu olan aileler, tarih boyunca g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc liderler \u00e7\u0131kartm\u0131\u015flard\u0131r. \u00c7erkes aile ya\u015fant\u0131s\u0131nda; sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131, g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc bireyler yeti\u015ftirmek i\u00e7in, anne ve baban\u0131n rol\u00fc \u00e7ok \u00f6nemlidir. Mutlu bir ailede \u00e7ocu\u011fun hissetti\u011fi \u00f6zg\u00fcven tarif edilemez, \u00e7ocuk y\u00fcz y\u00fcze geldi\u011fi sorunlar\u0131 anne ya da babas\u0131na g\u00f6t\u00fcrebilece\u011fini bildi\u011fi i\u00e7in, d\u0131\u015f d\u00fcnya ne denli sorunlarla dolu olursa olsun, \u00e7ocuk ailesinin yan\u0131nda kendisini g\u00fcvenlikte hisseder. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc mutlu bir aile, g\u00fcvenli bir liman gibidir.<\/p>\n

\u00c7erkes aile yap\u0131s\u0131nda baz\u0131 kurallar vard\u0131r. Xabze[1]<\/strong>; sayg\u0131 g\u00f6stermeyi, ma\u011frur olmaks\u0131z\u0131n kendisine h\u00fcrmet ettirmeyi, zaaf g\u00f6stermeden adil olmay\u0131, \u015fiddet g\u00f6stermeden kumanda etmeyi \u00f6\u011fretir. \u00c7erkesler, gerek evlerinde gerek d\u0131\u015far\u0131da teklifsizli\u011fi sayg\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131k olarak g\u00f6r\u00fcrler. Bu nedenle, \u00c7erkes aile ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131n esas\u0131, ilk bak\u0131\u015fta kolay anla\u015f\u0131lacak gibi de\u011fildir. Xabze k\u00fclt\u00fcr yap\u0131s\u0131na sahip olan her \u00c7erkes ailesinde, Xabze\u2019nin i\u015fleyi\u015fi ve al\u0131nan kararlara uyulmas\u0131na y\u00f6nelik hal, hareket, tarz, y\u00f6ntem ve \u00fcslupla ilgili ‘aile disiplini’ diye bir kavram vard\u0131r.<\/p>\n

<\/a> \u00c7erkes aileleri, \u00e7ekirdek ve k\u00f6kleri y\u00fczy\u0131llar \u00f6ncesine uzanan soy aile olarak ikiye ayr\u0131lmaktad\u0131r. \u00c7ekirdek aile kavram\u0131, modernle\u015fmeyle birlikte sadece anne baba ve \u00e7ocuklardan olu\u015fan bir yap\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Xabze k\u00fclt\u00fcr\u00fcnde; aile i\u00e7inde kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 ele\u015ftirilere kulak vermek, ortak paydalar ke\u015ffetmek ve belirli bir noktada durmak \u00e7ok \u00f6nemsenir. Farkl\u0131l\u0131klar ve \u00e7eli\u015fkiler zihinsel ve sosyal geli\u015fimin olmazsa olmazlar\u0131 olarak kabul edilir. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc: \u00e7eli\u015fkilerin fark\u0131na var\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 takdirde sorunlar \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fclecektir. \u0130yi bir karar, herkesin ayn\u0131 y\u00f6nde d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmesiyle de\u011fil, farkl\u0131 fikirlerin bile\u015fkesiyle al\u0131n\u0131r. G\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmelerde mutlaka tart\u0131\u015fmalar da olacakt\u0131r. O nedenle sorunlar \u00e7ay saatlerinde, sohbet havas\u0131 i\u00e7inde g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcl\u00fcr. Sinirlerin gerildi\u011fi anlarda molalar verilir. Kimi zaman soy diye tabir etti\u011fimiz geni\u015f ailenin b\u00fcy\u00fc\u011f\u00fc veyahut da \u2018Arabulucu Thamade\u2019 duruma el koyar. B\u00f6ylece \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcl\u00fc, mant\u0131kl\u0131 yakla\u015f\u0131m duygusal tepkilere ye\u011flenir.<\/p>\n

Evleninceye kadar, ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131z bireyler olarak toplumsal hayat\u0131n i\u00e7inde yer alan \u00c7erkes k\u0131zlar\u0131, aile ve toplum i\u00e7indeki sorumluluklar\u0131n\u0131 bilerek, delikanl\u0131larla rahat\u00e7a arkada\u015fl\u0131k ederler. K\u0131zlar, k\u0131l\u0131k k\u0131yafet konusunda herhangi bir taassubun etkisi alt\u0131na girmezler. Matem g\u00fcnleri d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda, ba\u015f \u00f6rtme Xabze geleneklerinde yoktur.<\/p>\n

Ancak, \u00c7erkes kad\u0131nlar\u0131n\u0131n kendilerine \u00f6zg\u00fc bir ba\u015f\u00f6rt\u00fcs\u00fc modelleri vard\u0131r. Sa\u00e7lar\u0131n bir b\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn\u00fc a\u00e7\u0131kta b\u0131rakan bu modelde, ba\u015f\u00f6rt\u00fcs\u00fc daha \u00e7ok aksesuar i\u015flevi g\u00f6r\u00fcr. \u00c7erkes k\u0131zlar\u0131, ev i\u015flerinde annenin yard\u0131mc\u0131s\u0131d\u0131r. Kom\u015fu evleri de kendi evleri gibidir. Kom\u015fular\u0131na gelen misafirlere hizmet etmeyi onur sayarlar.<\/p>\n

Gen\u00e7 k\u0131z; evlilik hayat\u0131nda ihtiya\u00e7 duyabilece\u011fi t\u00fcm bilgileri ailesiyle ya\u015farken \u00f6\u011frenir. Giyiminde temiz ve d\u00fczenli, ruhu ve hayat tarz\u0131yla erdemlidir. E\u011fitimlidir, bir mesle\u011fi vard\u0131r. Bu, onun hayat\u0131n\u0131 kazanabilmesinin temel ko\u015fuludur, kendisine evlenme teklif eden delikanl\u0131y\u0131 reddedecekse, bunu onun onurunu k\u0131rmamaya \u00f6zen g\u00f6stererek, kibarca yapar.<\/p>\n

Xabze toplumunda; \u00e7ocuk e\u011fitiminin temelinde, \u00e7ocu\u011fa sayg\u0131 vard\u0131r. Ona, birey oldu\u011funun bilinciyle davran\u0131l\u0131r. \u00c7i\u00e7ekler g\u00fcne\u015fe do\u011fru nas\u0131l uzan\u0131rlarsa, \u00e7ocuklar da ilgiye do\u011fru \u00f6yle uzanacaklard\u0131r.<\/p>\n

0 \u2013 7 ya\u015f d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda ki\u015fi, iyi ya da k\u00f6t\u00fc t\u00fcm davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n sorumlulu\u011funu ta\u015f\u0131mal\u0131d\u0131r. Bu durum, hayat\u0131n her evresi i\u00e7in ge\u00e7erlidir.<\/p>\n

\u00c7erkesler \u00e7ocuklar\u0131na \u00f6ncelikle \u00e7evreleriyle iyi ileti\u015fim kurma, b\u00fcy\u00fcklere sayg\u0131, selamla\u015fma, yemek adab\u0131, misafir kar\u015f\u0131lama, telefonda konu\u015ftuklar\u0131 ki\u015filere kendilerini tan\u0131tmalar\u0131, sayg\u0131 ifade eden s\u00f6zler kullanmalar\u0131 gibi prensipleri \u00f6\u011fretirler.<\/p>\n

Anne ve babalar, yaln\u0131zca kendi g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015flerine de\u011fer verilmesini beklemezler, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerine de \u00f6nem verirler. \u201cBen \u00e7ok yoksulluk \u00e7ektim, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m rahat ya\u015fas\u0131n\u201d <\/strong>d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesi, Xabze e\u011fitim sisteminde yoktur. \u00c7ocu\u011fun \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma ve kazanma iste\u011fini zedelememek i\u00e7in, hak etmedi\u011fi m\u00fcddet\u00e7e, her arzusu yerine getirilmez. \u00c7ocu\u011fun kendi sorumluluklar\u0131n\u0131 \u00fcstlenmesi, \u00f6zerkle\u015fmesi, ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131z bir ki\u015filik geli\u015ftirmesi istenir ve desteklenir.<\/p>\n

\u00c7erkesler hayat\u0131 bir yolculuk olarak kabul ederler. Bu yolculukta bazen ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131, bazen de ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131z olunacakt\u0131r. Bir ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131 d\u00fcnyan\u0131n sonu gibi yorumlay\u0131p, karnesi zay\u0131f olan \u00e7ocu\u011fa tepki g\u00f6sterilmez. Gelecekte ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 olabilece\u011fi y\u00f6n\u00fcnde telkinde bulunulur, \u00f6zg\u00fcvenini geli\u015ftirmesi amac\u0131yla, m\u00fcmk\u00fcn oldu\u011funca ele\u015ftirilmez. \u00c7ocuk odas\u0131nda s\u00fcrekli televizyon izliyor ve bilgisayar\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131ndan kalkm\u0131yorsa, bu cihazlar\u0131n kullan\u0131m\u0131na a\u015f\u0131r\u0131ya ka\u00e7mamak kayd\u0131yla s\u0131n\u0131rlama getirilir.<\/p>\n

Xabze e\u011fitim sistemi; \u201cSorgulay\u0131c\u0131, ara\u015ft\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 ve yarat\u0131c\u0131d\u0131r, bir \u015feyler \u00fcretmek – bulmak i\u00e7indir.\u201d Ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 olan \u00e7ocu\u011fa; \u201dAferin, seninle gurur duyuyorum, tebrik ederim\u201d gibi s\u00f6zlerin yan\u0131nda minik hediyeler verilir. \u00d6d\u00fcllendirmede a\u015f\u0131r\u0131ya ka\u00e7\u0131lmas\u0131 \u00f6d\u00fcl\u00fcn de\u011ferini azaltacak ve bir s\u00fcre sonra \u00e7ocuk \u00f6d\u00fcle ula\u015fmak i\u00e7in ba\u015flang\u0131\u00e7taki heyecan\u0131n\u0131 kaybedecektir. \u00c7ocu\u011fa \u00f6\u011f\u00fct vermek yerine, \u00e7ocu\u011fun g\u00f6z\u00fcnde iyi \u00f6rnek olmaya \u00e7abalayan anne ve baba, do\u011fru olan davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131 ona do\u011fal bir \u015fekilde benimsetir.<\/p>\n

\u00c7ocuklar\u0131n, 12\u201320 ya\u015f aras\u0131nda ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131 h\u0131zl\u0131 biyolojik geli\u015fim d\u00f6neminden, yeti\u015fkinli\u011fe sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 bir ge\u00e7i\u015f yapabilmeleri ayr\u0131 bir \u00f6nem ta\u015f\u0131r. Bu d\u00f6nemde anne ve baba \u00e7ocuklar\u0131na daha fazla sevgi g\u00f6sterir, zaman ay\u0131r\u0131r, onun g\u00fcvenini kazanmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131yla ileti\u015fim kanallar\u0131n\u0131 s\u00fcrekli a\u00e7\u0131k tutar, arkada\u015f olur, onu spor, folklor gibi \u00e7e\u015fitli faaliyetlere y\u00f6nlendirir.<\/p>\n

Bu \u015fekilde e\u011fitilen \u00e7ocuklar, ergenlik \u00e7a\u011f\u0131nda ya\u015fayacaklar\u0131 fiziksel ve duygusal de\u011fi\u015fimi kolayca atlat\u0131p, a\u015fk\u0131n ilk s\u0131nav\u0131n\u0131 vermeye ba\u015flayan gen\u00e7, sevginin sevilene de\u011fer vermek, onu y\u00fcceltmek oldu\u011funu \u00f6\u011frenir, <\/em> kar\u015f\u0131 cinsi etkilemek ad\u0131na edebiyatta, sporda ve giyim zevkinde kendilerini geli\u015ftirmenin yollar\u0131n\u0131 arar. Fl\u00f6rt d\u00f6nemleri, son derece romantik, hayallerle dolu ve uzun s\u00fcrelidir. Fl\u00f6rtten evlili\u011fe giden yol, \u00e7ok uzundur, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ayr\u0131nt\u0131lar abart\u0131l\u0131r: Bir bak\u0131\u015f, bir kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fma gibi.<\/p>\n

\u00c7erkes aileleri ve aile bireyleri;Tevazu sahibi olup al\u00e7ak g\u00f6n\u00fcll\u00fcd\u00fcrler. Al\u00e7ak g\u00f6n\u00fcll\u00fcd\u00fcrler ama iddial\u0131 ki\u015filerdir. Tevazu sahibi olmalar\u0131 ise kendilerini bilmek, kendi \u00fczerlerinde \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f olmalar\u0131yla ilgilidir. Hatalar\u0131 tekrar etmemek i\u00e7in uykular\u0131nda bile \u00f6\u011frenmeyi s\u00fcrd\u00fcr\u00fcrler. Fakat en \u00f6nemlisi huzurludurlar ve kendilerini bilirler.<\/p>\n

D\u0130PNOT:<\/strong>
\n1)<\/strong>\u00a0 Bir toplumun tarihsel s\u00fcre\u00e7 i\u00e7erisinde \u00fcretti\u011fi ve ku\u015faktan ku\u015fa\u011fa aktard\u0131\u011f\u0131 ya\u015fay\u0131\u015f ve d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fc\u015f tarz\u0131, o toplumun k\u00fclt\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcr. Kuzey Kafkasya halklar\u0131 s\u00f6z konusu oldu\u011funda, bu temel unsur Xabze’dir. Xabze, bu fonksyonuyla bilmek, eylemek, hissetmek gibi b\u00fct\u00fcn insani durumlar\u0131 i\u00e7erebilen, genel bir kavram\u0131 ifade eder. \u0130nsanlara aktar\u0131lmas\u0131 bir e\u011fitim s\u00fcrecine dayand\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan bilgisel boyutu; toplum i\u00e7indeki her t\u00fcr davran\u0131\u015f normunu belirledi\u011fi i\u00e7in etik boyutu, insan\u0131n i\u00e7 d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 s\u00fcrekli olarak uyard\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve d\u00fczenledi\u011fi i\u00e7in estetik boyutu vard\u0131r.\u00a0 Ba\u015fl\u0131ca hedefi, ki\u015filerin i\u00e7 d\u00fcnyalar\u0131n\u0131 k\u00f6kl\u00fc bir e\u011fitimden ge\u00e7irip, belirli insan\u00ee ideallere ula\u015fmalar\u0131nda onlara yard\u0131mc\u0131 olmakt\u0131r.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

TLETSERUK Nahit Serbes 03.02.2014 İnsan toplumunun yeryüzündeki en eski kurumu olan aileler, tarih boyunca güçlü liderler çıkartmışlardır. Çerkes aile yaşantısında; sağlıklı, güçlü bireyler yetiştirmek için, anne ve babanın rolü çok önemlidir. Mutlu bir ailede çocuğun hissettiği özgüven tarif edilemez, çocuk yüz yüze geldiği sorunları anne ya da babasına götürebileceğini bildiği için, dış dünya ne denli […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"0","ocean_second_sidebar":"0","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"0","ocean_custom_header_template":"0","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"0","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"off","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[103],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2209","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar-tletseruk-nahit-serbes","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2209","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2209"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2209\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2211,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2209\/revisions\/2211"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2209"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2209"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2209"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}