![\"\"](\"http:\/\/circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/05.05.2014.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
TLETSERUK Nahit Serbes<\/strong> Xabze \u00f6\u011fretileri, ki\u015finin sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 bir ruhsal yap\u0131ya sahip olabilmesi i\u00e7in do\u011fal \u00e7evre kadar, sosyal \u00e7evrenin de etkisi oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yler. Sosyal \u00e7evrenin ana unsurunu te\u015fkil eden insan ili\u015fkileri \u00e7a\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda bilimsel ara\u015ft\u0131rmalara mevzu olmu\u015f \u00e7ok boyutlu bir konudur. Bu sorunun ana unsurlar\u0131ndan birisi de ileti\u015fimdir. \u0130leti\u015fim bir bireyden \u00e7\u0131kan bilgilinin, kar\u015f\u0131 birime ula\u015fmas\u0131, onda bir etki uyand\u0131rmas\u0131 ve bunun ilk bireye geri d\u00f6nme s\u00fcrecidir. \u0130\u00e7eri\u011fi ne olursa olsun toplumsal bir sorunu \u00e7\u00f6zmek i\u00e7in insanlar\u0131n ileti\u015fim kurmalar\u0131 gerekir. Ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131 anlamak, s\u00fcrt\u00fc\u015fme ve \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmaya girmeden sorunlara kabul edilebilir, \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcmler getirmek i\u00e7in tek yol \u201csa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 ileti\u015fim\u201ddir.<\/p>\n Xabze etkili bir ileti\u015fimin \u00f6nceliklerinin; \u0130leti\u015fimin temel basamaklar\u0131n\u0131; \u015eimdi k\u0131saca g\u00f6n\u00fcl ve beden dillerine gelmek istiyorum.<\/p>\n G\u00f6n\u00fcl dili, bak\u0131\u015flarla ifade edilir. Dosdo\u011fru bak\u0131\u015fta; \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 hikmet, Birbirini tan\u0131yanlar aras\u0131nda selam ile ba\u015flayan ileti\u015fim el s\u0131kma ve sar\u0131lma ile devam eder. G\u00f6z g\u00f6ze gelen iki insan k\u0131sa s\u00fcre i\u00e7inde bilgisayar gibi \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan sinir sistemi arac\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 ile kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndaki insandan gelen t\u00fcm uyar\u0131lar\u0131 al\u0131r, b\u00fct\u00fcn\u00fcyle alg\u0131lar, de\u011ferlendirir, \u201ckucakla\u201d ya da \u201ckucaklama\u201d, \u201csar\u0131l\u201d ya da \u201csar\u0131lma\u201d gibi son buyru\u011fu verip davran\u0131\u015f bi\u00e7imini belirler. Sar\u0131lma, s\u0131rt\u0131 s\u0131vazlama, s\u0131rta vurma hareketleri \u201cBana inan\u201d, anlam\u0131na gelir.<\/p>\n Mimikler s\u00f6zs\u00fcz ileti\u015fimin y\u00fcze yans\u0131t\u0131lmas\u0131, y\u00fczde anlat\u0131m bulmas\u0131d\u0131r. \u0130nsanlar birbirlerine yakla\u015ft\u0131k\u00e7a y\u00fcz y\u00fcze, g\u00f6z g\u00f6ze ileti\u015fim ba\u015flar. Bu t\u00fcr ileti\u015fimde y\u00fczde g\u00f6zlerin yap\u0131s\u0131 yan\u0131nda mimiklerin de \u00f6nemi \u00e7oktur. \u00c7o\u011fu zaman ba\u015fkalar\u0131na ait ilk bilgileri onun y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn bi\u00e7imini ya da bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 yorumlayarak ediniriz.<\/p>\n \u201cY\u00fcz vermek\u201d ileti\u015fimin s\u00fcrece\u011fini, \u201cy\u00fcz bulmak\u201d kar\u015f\u0131 taraf\u0131n gereksiz yak\u0131nla\u015fma i\u00e7inde oldu\u011funu, \u201cy\u00fcz \u00e7evirmek\u201d ileti\u015fimin kesildi\u011fini ifade eder. \u201cY\u00fcz\u00fcne bak\u0131l\u0131r\u201d, \u201cy\u00fcz\u00fc s\u0131cak\u201d, \u201cy\u00fcze g\u00fcler\u201d, \u201cy\u00fcz\u00fc yumu\u015fak\u201d insanlarla kolay ileti\u015fim kurulur.<\/p>\n \u201cEk\u015fi y\u00fczl\u00fc\u201d, \u201cy\u00fcz bulunca astar isteyen\u201d, \u201cy\u00fcz\u00fc mahkeme duvar\u0131 gibi\u201d, \u201cy\u00fcz\u00fc davul derisi ile kapl\u0131\u201d, \u201cy\u00fczs\u00fcz\u201d olan insanlarla da ileti\u015fimden ka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131l\u0131r.<\/p>\n Sevgili karde\u015flerim, insanlar aras\u0131 as\u0131l ileti\u015fim s\u00f6zl\u00fc ileti\u015fimdir. Bir kimseyle konu\u015furken onun demek istedi\u011fi ile bizim anlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n ayn\u0131 olup olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 denetlemeye de \u201cgeri ileti\u015fim\u201d diyoruz. Y\u00fcz ifadelerimiz, ki\u015fiye verdi\u011fimiz tepkiler ile bizim konu\u015fulan\u0131 iyi anlay\u0131p anlamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 konu\u015fana geri ileti\u015fim ile anlatabiliriz.<\/p>\n \u0130leti\u015fim kurdu\u011fumuz \u015fah\u0131s ile konu\u015furken, se\u00e7ti\u011fimiz s\u00f6zc\u00fcklere \u00e7ok dikkat etmeli ve anla\u015f\u0131l\u0131r \u015fekilde konu\u015fmaya \u00f6nem vermeliyiz.<\/p>\n Dil onun sahibi olan insanlar\u0131n d\u00fcnya g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcne, inan\u00e7lar\u0131na, hayata bak\u0131\u015f tarz\u0131na, k\u00fclt\u00fcr ile medeniyet anlay\u0131\u015f\u0131na, zevkine g\u00f6re \u015fekil, anlam ve derinlik kazan\u0131r. Her millet, kendi dilini buna g\u00f6re yarat\u0131r. Kelimeler, s\u00f6zler; ak\u0131ldan ge\u00e7enlerin, niyet ve kararlar\u0131n, hatta bilin\u00e7alt\u0131ndaki baz\u0131 birikim ve ger\u00e7eklerin i\u015faretleri, g\u00f6stergeleridir. \u0130\u015fte onun i\u00e7indir ki, insan neyi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyor, s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor ve yap\u0131yor ise, kendisi de odur.<\/p>\n D\u0131\u015f g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015f\u00fc g\u00fczel, hareketleri zarif olan bir ki\u015fi, kula\u011f\u0131 t\u0131rmalayan ses tonu, kaba ve sert konu\u015fma bi\u00e7imi nedeniyle insana itici gelebilir. Ger\u00e7ekten de kimi insan\u0131n dili \u201cy\u0131lan gibi sokar\u201d, kimisiyse \u201ctatl\u0131 diliyle y\u0131lan\u0131 deli\u011finden \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131r\u201d. Kimisinin konu\u015fmas\u0131 \u00f6yle tatl\u0131 ve \u00e7ekicidir ki, \u201ca\u011fz\u0131ndan bal akar\u201d. Kimi insan \u201cdereden tepeden\u201c konu\u015fur, insan\u0131 oyalar. Kimisi \u201cileri geri konu\u015fur\u201d, insan\u0131 \u00fczer. Kimisi \u201cpes perdeden konu\u015fup\u201d insan\u0131 \u00e7eker. Kimisi \u201c\u00fcst perdeden konu\u015fup\u201d insan\u0131 iter. Esprili, n\u00fckteli, \u015fakal\u0131 s\u00f6z, \u00e7o\u011fu insan\u0131n ho\u015funa gider, ancak kayg\u0131l\u0131, s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131l\u0131 durumlarda bu t\u00fcr konu\u015fmalar anlay\u0131\u015fs\u0131zl\u0131k ve kabal\u0131k olarak nitelendirilir. \u00c7o\u011funluk, karamsar konu\u015fan, s\u00fcrekli olarak kendinden ve ba\u015fkalar\u0131ndan yak\u0131nan insanlardan ka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131l\u0131r. \u00c7erkesler: \u201ce\u011fri oturup, do\u011fru s\u00f6yleyerek\u201d ger\u00e7ekleri dile getirir.<\/strong><\/p>\n Bak\u0131n\u0131z Yunus Emre ne diyor; Mevlana, Aristo ise bu fikri peki\u015ftiriyor, \u0130yi ileti\u015fim kurmak i\u00e7in, \u00f6nce iyi bir dinleyici olmal\u0131y\u0131z. Bir kimseye yararl\u0131 olman\u0131n tek yolu vard\u0131r o da kar\u015f\u0131n\u0131zdakini dikkatle dinlemek.<\/p>\n \u0130nsanlar aras\u0131 ileti\u015fim kopuklu\u011funun \u00f6nemli nedenlerinden biri \u201cdinliyormu\u015f gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcnme\u201d durumundan kaynaklan\u0131r. Zaman zaman kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdakini \u201cnezaketen\u201d dinliyor g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr\u00fcz. Bazen de ger\u00e7ekten dinlemek istesek de akl\u0131m\u0131z ba\u015fka tarafa tak\u0131l\u0131r.<\/p>\n Bu da ileti\u015fimin kurulmas\u0131n\u0131 engeller. O halde iyi bir dinleyici olabilmek i\u00e7in \u00f6nce konu\u015fmac\u0131 ile g\u00f6z g\u00f6ze gelecek \u015fekilde oturun, dinleyin. Onun s\u00f6zlerini, mimiklerini, hareketlerini alg\u0131lamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131n. Ona s\u0131k s\u0131k \u201canlatt\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 dikkatle izliyorum\u201d, \u201cseni duyuyorum\u201d bi\u00e7iminde geri ileti\u015fimi kolayla\u015ft\u0131racak bilgiler verin. Bunu g\u00f6z, ba\u015f, boyun hareketleri ile g\u00f6sterin, bu durumu a\u00e7\u0131k se\u00e7ik belirtin \u201c\u00f6nerilerinize kat\u0131l\u0131yorum\u201d, \u201caynen payla\u015f\u0131yorum\u201d gibi ve anla\u015f\u0131lmayan k\u0131s\u0131mlara a\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a \u201c\u015furas\u0131n\u0131 anlayamad\u0131m\u201d s\u00f6zc\u00fckleriyle ortaya koyun.<\/p>\n Xabze; konu\u015fma yapan bir ki\u015finin a\u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 yakalamay\u0131, ki\u015fili\u011finizin g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc, \u00fcst\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6stermek amac\u0131 ile tuzak kuran bir dinleyici olman\u0131z\u0131 yasaklam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r.<\/p>\n \u201cHele bir d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnelim bakal\u0131m\u201d \u201cbug\u00fcn git yar\u0131n gel\u201d \u201cbiz sizi arar\u0131z\u201d gibi s\u00f6zc\u00fcklerin bir atlatma oldu\u011funu herkes bilir. Bu nedenle elden geldi\u011fince \u201cevet\u201d ya da \u201chay\u0131r\u201d konusunda a\u00e7\u0131k s\u00f6zl\u00fc ve d\u00fcr\u00fcst davranal\u0131m. Ama \u00dcnl\u00fc filozof Pisagor\u2019un \u015fu s\u00f6zlerini de unutmayal\u0131m: En eski ve en k\u0131sa kelimeler olan \u201cevet\u201d ve \u201chay\u0131r\u201d konu\u015furken en \u00e7ok d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fclerek s\u00f6ylenmesi gereken kelimelerdir.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" TLETSERUK Nahit Serbes 05.05.2014 Xabze öğretileri, kişinin sağlıklı bir ruhsal yapıya sahip olabilmesi için doğal çevre kadar, sosyal çevrenin de etkisi olduğunu söyler. Sosyal çevrenin ana unsurunu teşkil eden insan ilişkileri çağımızda bilimsel araştırmalara mevzu olmuş çok boyutlu bir konudur. Bu sorunun ana unsurlarından birisi de iletişimdir. İletişim bir bireyden çıkan bilgilinin, karşı birime ulaşması, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"0","ocean_second_sidebar":"0","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"0","ocean_custom_header_template":"0","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"0","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"off","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[103],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2215","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar-tletseruk-nahit-serbes","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2215","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2215"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2215\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2217,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2215\/revisions\/2217"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2215"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2215"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2215"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n<\/span><\/span>05<\/span>.05.2014<\/span><\/p>\n
\n– \u00d6z g\u00fcven,
\n– Sayg\u0131 ve nezaket,
\n– Sevgi dili (siz dili),
\n– Sevecenlik (sempatiklik),
\n– Empati yapmak,
\n– \u0130nand\u0131r\u0131c\u0131l\u0131k (ikna kabiliyeti),
\n– Anlay\u0131\u015f ve ho\u015fg\u00f6r\u00fc,
\n– Tutarl\u0131l\u0131k ve kendiyle bar\u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131k, oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yler.<\/p>\n
\nG\u00f6n\u00fcl dili (g\u00f6z),
\nBeden dili (y\u00fcz),
\nKonu\u015fma dili (s\u00f6z), olarak s\u0131ralayabiliriz.<\/p>\n
\nBir bak\u0131\u015f bir bak\u0131\u015fa neler neler anlat\u0131r.
\nBir bak\u0131\u015f bir a\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 saatlerce a\u011flat\u0131r.
\nBir bak\u0131\u015f\u0131n man\u00e2s\u0131 hi\u00e7bir lisanda yoktur.
\nBir bak\u0131\u015f bazen \u015fifa bazen zehirli oktur\u201d<\/p>\n
\nYan g\u00f6zle bak\u0131\u015fta; h\u0131yanet,
\nYukar\u0131dan a\u015fa\u011f\u0131ya bak\u0131\u015fta; kin ve husumet vard\u0131r.<\/p>\n
\n\u201dS\u00f6z ola kese sava\u015f\u0131, s\u00f6z ola kestire ba\u015f\u0131,
\nS\u00f6z ola zehirli a\u015f\u0131, bal ile ya\u011f ede bir s\u00f6z.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201dKalp, deniz, dil k\u0131y\u0131d\u0131r. Denizde ne varsa k\u0131y\u0131ya o vurur\u201d diye buyurmu\u015f.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cAk\u0131ll\u0131 insan d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc her \u015feyi s\u00f6ylemez, ama her s\u00f6yledi\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr.<\/p>\n