{"id":2306,"date":"2019-02-22T21:30:52","date_gmt":"2019-02-22T21:30:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/circassiancenter.com\/tr\/?p=2306"},"modified":"2019-02-22T21:30:52","modified_gmt":"2019-02-22T21:30:52","slug":"kurtlere-borc-odemek","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/kurtlere-borc-odemek\/","title":{"rendered":"K\u00dcRTLERE BOR\u00c7 \u00d6DEMEK…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sezai Babaku\u015f<\/strong>
\n<\/span><\/span>17.09.2010<\/span><\/p>\n

Anayasa de\u011fi\u015fikli\u011fi referandumundan iki g\u00fcn \u00f6nce, 10 Eyl\u00fcl tarihli yaz\u0131mda vicdani ret hakk\u0131m\u0131 kullanaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 belirtmi\u015ftim. Bundan kast\u0131m \u2018evet\u2019, \u2018hay\u0131r\u2019 ve \u2018boykot\u2019 \u00fc\u00e7geni d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda kalmakt\u0131. Yani, sand\u0131\u011fa gidecek, \u2018ge\u00e7ersiz\u2019 oy kullanacak ve nev-i \u015fahs\u0131ma m\u00fcnhas\u0131r bir tav\u0131r koyacakt\u0131m. \u0130tiraf edeyim ki, \u00f6yle yapmad\u0131m. Biraz referans ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m ayd\u0131nlar\u0131n ve dahil oldu\u011fum \u201878 ku\u015fa\u011f\u0131 solcular\u0131n\u0131n etkisiyle, biraz da i\u00e7ten i\u00e7e K\u00fcrtlere bor\u00e7 \u00f6deme d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesiyle \u2018boykot\u2019 saf\u0131nda yer ald\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Referandum sonu\u00e7lar\u0131, nicedir bilinen dinci-muhafazakar sa\u011f\u0131n milliyet\u00e7i-muhafazakar sa\u011fdan daha geni\u015f tabana sahip oldu\u011fu ger\u00e7e\u011finin tescilidir. Gerisi teferruatt\u0131r. \u0130kisinin de uza\u011f\u0131nday\u0131m. Bu y\u00fczden, sonu\u00e7lar \u00fczerine uzun uzadiye kafa yormayaca\u011f\u0131m. Yerine, neden \u00e7ark etti\u011fimi ve \u2018bor\u00e7\u2019tan kast\u0131m\u0131n ne oldu\u011funu anlatmay\u0131 tercih ediyorum…<\/p>\n

\u0130nsan hayat\u0131 bor\u00e7-alacak \u00fczerine kuruludur. Benim bor\u00e7-alacak derkenki kast\u0131m \u015firket bilan\u00e7olar\u0131n\u0131n aktif-pasif hesab\u0131 kadar basit ve tekd\u00fcze de\u011fildir. Daha fazlas\u0131d\u0131r. \u0130nsani-vicdani, duygusal, sosyal, k\u00fclt\u00fcrel, ki\u015fisel-toplumsal, ve hatta siyasal bor\u00e7-alacak hesaplar\u0131 vard\u0131r. Yine de, bakiyesi bilan\u00e7o defterlerinde oldu\u011fu gibidir. Alaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131z \u00e7oksa durumunuz iyi, borcunuz \u00e7oksa durumunuz k\u00f6t\u00fc demektir.<\/p>\n

Ben de herkes gibi s\u0131k s\u0131k hayat\u0131m\u0131 g\u00f6zden ge\u00e7irir, her alanda bor\u00e7-alacak hesab\u0131 yapar\u0131m. Hemen s\u00f6yleyeyim, genellikle borcum alaca\u011f\u0131mdan \u00e7oktur.<\/p>\n

K\u00fcrtlerle iki hesab\u0131m vard\u0131r. Biri g\u00fcnceldir, siyasi ve toplumsald\u0131r. Di\u011feri ise evvel zaman i\u00e7inden kalmad\u0131r, insani-vicdani ve ki\u015fiseldir.<\/p>\n

G\u00fcncel, siyasi ve toplumsal hesap \u015fudur: Bug\u00fcn demokratikle\u015fme \u00e7er\u00e7evesinde etnik kimlikler ve k\u00fclt\u00fcrel haklar meselesi T\u00fcrkiye\u2019nin g\u00fcndemine ve kabul\u00fcne girmi\u015fse, b\u00fcy\u00fck \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcde K\u00fcrtlerin nice bedeller \u00f6deyerek verdikleri m\u00fccadelenin sonucudur. Evet, bu g\u00fcnlere gelinmesinde solcular\u0131n ve demokratlar\u0131n m\u00fccadelesinin, uluslararas\u0131 konjonkt\u00fcr\u00fcn ve \u00f6zellikle Avrupa Birli\u011fi\u2019nin de etkisi olmu\u015ftur, ama belirleyici olan K\u00fcrtlerin verdi\u011fi m\u00fccadeledir.<\/p>\n

K\u00fcrtlerin m\u00fccadelesi, T\u00fcrkiye\u2019nin ony\u0131llard\u0131r katmerle\u015ferek kat\u0131la\u015fan ulus-devlet buzulunda gedikler a\u00e7an \u2018buzk\u0131ran\u2019 gibidir. Ve biz bug\u00fcn, k\u0131r\u0131lan bu buzulda denize ula\u015fmaya hevesleniyorsak, yani kimli\u011fimizi sahiplenmeye ve k\u00f6klerimizle kucakla\u015fmaya niyetlenebiliyorsak, bu buzk\u0131ran\u0131n yol a\u00e7mas\u0131 sayesindedir.<\/p>\n

Yani biz, \u2018Kafkasyal\u0131\u2019l\u0131k \u00f6rt\u00fcs\u00fcnde gizlenmek yerine etnik kimli\u011fimizle kamu alan\u0131nda boy g\u00f6stermeye y\u00fcreklenebiliyorsak, korkmadan-\u00e7ekinmeden \u2018’ben \u00c7erkes’im’\u2019, \u2018’ben Adige’yim\u2019’, \u2018’ben Abhaz’\u0131m\u2019’ diyebiliyorsak, \u2018kimli\u011fimiz, dilimiz, k\u00fclt\u00fcr\u00fcm\u00fcz, haklar\u0131m\u0131z\u2019 \u00fczerine d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerimizi ve taleplerimizi dillendirmeye ba\u015flayabildiysek, hi\u00e7 ku\u015fku yok ki bu b\u00fcy\u00fck \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcde K\u00fcrtlerin kararl\u0131 m\u00fccadelesinin y\u00fcz\u00fc suyu h\u00fcrmetinedir. M\u00fccadele y\u00f6ntemlerini yarg\u0131lasak da ve \u00e7o\u011fu kez t\u00fcm\u00fcn\u00fc \u015fiddete ve ter\u00f6re tap\u0131nan radikalleriyle \u00f6zde\u015fle\u015ftiren toptanc\u0131 red ve nefret saf\u0131nda yer tutsak da, bu ger\u00e7ek kap\u0131 gibi \u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fczde durur.<\/p>\n

K\u00fcrtler ve K\u00fcrt meselesi, T\u00fcrkiye\u2019de ya\u015fayan biz \u00c7erkesler (Adige+Abhaz) i\u00e7in g\u00f6bek \u00e7atlatan bir paradokstur. Bir yandan K\u00fcrtleri reddeden, yok sayan, bask\u0131layan resmi ideolojiye tam destek \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131z, bir yandan da kendi kimli\u011fimizin dalgalanmas\u0131n\u0131 isteriz. \u0130steriz de, bunun bizi zahmete sokmadan kendili\u011finden olmas\u0131n\u0131 bekleriz. Asl\u0131nda tam da \u00f6yle olmaktad\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Haklar ve talepler konusundaki \u00fcrkekli\u011fimizi \u2018Afrika menek\u015fesi sendromu\u2019 ile mi a\u00e7\u0131klamal\u0131. Onun gibi, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n neresine g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcl\u00fcrsek g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fclelim tutunup serpiliyoruz. Ama yine onun gibi, anavatanda oldu\u011fu kadar \u00e7i\u00e7ek a\u00e7am\u0131yoruz. Ruhunu kaybetmi\u015fcesine solgunuz, durgunuz, mahcubuz. \u2018Bitkisel hayat\u2019 denilen bu mudur acep!…<\/p>\n

Biliyorum, bu boyumu a\u015fan bir mevzudur ve tehlikeli sularda kula\u00e7 atmak demektir. Yine de, kimli\u011fini kendi i\u00e7in \u00f6nemli sayan bizlerin, kimli\u011fini kendi i\u00e7in \u00f6nemli sayan K\u00fcrtleri anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131n vaktinin geldi\u011fini s\u00f6ylemek istiyorum. Bunu kar\u015f\u0131layan s\u00f6zc\u00fck empati ise, hi\u00e7 komplekse kap\u0131lmadan ve kendi kendimizi ambargo koymadan bunu yapmal\u0131y\u0131z. En milliyet\u00e7i T\u00fcrkler bile, derini-s\u0131\u011f\u0131 en ulus-devlet\u00e7i devlet ricali bile bunu yapmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fken, bizim buzul \u00fczerinde patinaj \u00e7ekmeye \u00e7ak\u0131l\u0131 kalmam\u0131z\u0131n l\u00fczumu yoktur. Kal\u0131n kafam\u0131z anlamay\u0131, pasl\u0131 y\u00fcre\u011fimiz etkile\u015fim kurmay\u0131 beceremiyorsa, hi\u00e7 de\u011filse ba\u015flar\u0131n\u0131-g\u00f6zlerini yararak a\u00e7t\u0131klar\u0131 \u2018kimlik\u2019 alan\u0131n\u0131n k\u0131ymeti hatr\u0131na k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir te\u015fekk\u00fcr\u00fc \u00e7ok g\u00f6rmemeliyiz.<\/p>\n

\u0130\u015fte, \u2018boykot\u2019 saf\u0131nda yer tutmama vesile olan g\u00fcncel, siyasi ve toplumsal hesab\u0131m budur. Kendimce te\u015fekk\u00fcr etmektir, bir nebze de olsa bor\u00e7 \u00f6demektir.<\/p>\n

Elbette burdaki kast\u0131m \u015fiddete ve ter\u00f6re tap\u0131nan radikal-marjinal K\u00fcrt milliyet\u00e7ili\u011fi de\u011fildir, kimlik sahiplenmesini ve hak aray\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 demokratik ve bar\u0131\u015f\u00e7\u0131 y\u00f6ntemlerle s\u00fcrd\u00fcren geni\u015f kitlelerdir.<\/p>\n

Merak etmeyin, kendimi K\u00fcrtlere ve K\u00fcrt meselesine kapt\u0131rmam. Hele hele T\u00fcrkiye\u2019yi topyek\u00fcn bir i\u00e7 sava\u015fa s\u00fcr\u00fcklemeye hevesli olanlara hi\u00e7!..<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Evvel zaman i\u00e7inden gelen, insani-vicdani ve hayli ki\u015fisel bor\u00e7 meselesi ise ony\u0131llarca pe\u015fimi b\u0131rakmayan bir hesapt\u0131r. \u2018Boykot\u2019 karar\u0131ma do\u011frudan etkisi olmamas\u0131na ra\u011fmen, bor\u00e7-alacak meselesine dramatik \u00f6rnek olu\u015fturdu\u011fu i\u00e7in payla\u015fmak isterim.<\/p>\n

\u00d6nceki yaz\u0131lar\u0131mda belirtmi\u015fimdir. \u00c7ocuklu\u011fum, har\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131 cebinde bir l\u00fcks i\u00e7inde ge\u00e7medi. Ana-baba ve yar\u0131m manga erkek \u00e7ocuktan olu\u015fan yoksul ailemizde kural basitti: Ya\u015f\u0131n ne olursa olsun, hayat\u0131 haketmek i\u00e7in \u00e7al\u0131\u015f… K\u00f6yde kolayd\u0131; tarla i\u015flerinde ko\u015fturur, \u00e7obanl\u0131k yapar, iyi k\u00f6t\u00fc karn\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 doyururdunuz. Ama, hayata daha b\u00fcy\u00fck anlam y\u00fcklemek ad\u0131na kasabaya s\u00fcr\u00fcklendi\u011finizde i\u015fler de\u011fi\u015fir. Kasabada hem ge\u00e7im daha zordur, hem ihtiya\u00e7lar \u00e7\u0131\u011f gibi artar. On ya\u015f\u0131ndaysan ve dondurman\u0131n kayd\u0131rak lezzetini, \u015fekerleme \u00e7e\u015fitlerini, simitin \u00e7\u0131t\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, dahas\u0131 sineman\u0131n ba\u015fd\u00f6nd\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fc heyecan\u0131n\u0131 ke\u015ffetmi\u015fsen i\u015fin zordur. Mahalledeki ya\u015f\u0131tlar\u0131na, okuldaki arkada\u015flar\u0131na \u00f6zenir \u00e7aresiz t\u0131rnaklar\u0131n\u0131 kemirirsin. Para kazanmak \u015fartt\u0131r.<\/p>\n

\u00d6nce, mahalledeki bir ya\u015f\u0131t\u0131m\u0131n y\u00f6nlendirmesiyle simit sat\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131na soyundum. Sermayesi bir sepet ve \u00fczerini tozlanmas\u0131n-so\u011fumas\u0131n i\u00e7in \u00f6rtece\u011fin bir havluydu. Sabah\u0131n be\u015finde, Hendek\u2019in o zamanki tek simit f\u0131r\u0131n\u0131 Ramiz\u2019in \u00f6n\u00fcnde kuyruk tuttum. Ramiz dede \u015f\u00f6yle bir bakt\u0131, tartt\u0131, deftere ad\u0131m\u0131 kaydedip sepete 25 simit koydu. Tanesini 25 kuru\u015fa satacak, 5 kuru\u015fu benim olacakt\u0131. Hepsini sat, 125 kuru\u015f kazan. \u0130yi bir i\u015fti. Sabah namaz\u0131 i\u00e7in soka\u011fa d\u00fc\u015fenler, erkenci kahvehane m\u00fc\u015fterileri, yava\u015f yava\u015f hareketlenmeye ba\u015flayan evler hedef m\u00fc\u015fteriydi. Elimde sepet, pek \u00e7ok insan\u0131n g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f alan\u0131na girmeyi ba\u015fard\u0131m, ama sat\u0131\u015f s\u0131f\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Umudumu t\u00fcketip, giderek a\u011f\u0131rla\u015fan sepetle sarsak sarsak y\u00fcr\u00fcrken ya\u015fl\u0131 bir adam yolumu kesti: Sabah\u0131n bu vaktinde ne ta\u015f\u0131yorsun. S\u00f6yledim. \u00d6nce ders verdi: E\u011fer simitleri gezdirmeye \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131ysan do\u011fru yoldas\u0131n, ama onlar\u0131 satmak istiyorsan ba\u011f\u0131rmal\u0131s\u0131n, insanlar simit satt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmeli… Sonra bir simit ald\u0131. Tek sat\u0131\u015f\u0131md\u0131r. Ba\u011f\u0131rmaya niyetlendik\u00e7e sa\u00e7ma bir utanga\u00e7l\u0131k hissi bo\u011faz\u0131ma yumruk gibi oturdu. Bu i\u015f bana g\u00f6re de\u011fildi. Ramiz dede yenilgimi \u00f6d\u00fcllendirdi; satt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n paras\u0131n\u0131 almad\u0131, bir de simit verdi…<\/p>\n

Sonra, kurumu\u015f dere yata\u011f\u0131nda, sokak aralar\u0131nda ve y\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131 evlerde bak\u0131r tel toplay\u0131p hurdac\u0131ya satan bir \u00e7eteye (!) kat\u0131ld\u0131m. Emek yo\u011fun bir i\u015fti ve kazanc\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fckt\u00fc. Babam\u0131n \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 tahtadan gazoz kasas\u0131 yapan at\u00f6lyede i\u015f tuttum; kasalar\u0131n \u00e7evresine teneke \u015ferit \u00e7ak\u0131yorduk. Her kasa i\u00e7in 2 kuru\u015f \u00f6deniyordu. \u0130lk g\u00fcn 23, ikinci g\u00fcn 37, \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc g\u00fcn 48 kasa \u00e7emberledim. Giderek h\u0131zlan\u0131yordum, h\u0131zland\u0131k\u00e7a parmaklar\u0131m\u0131n \u00e7eki\u00e7-\u00e7ivi ve teneke \u015ferit \u00fc\u00e7geninde patlamalar\u0131 ve kesilmeleri de s\u0131kla\u015f\u0131yordu. Bir haftada kazaya u\u011framayan parmak kalmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Kendimi mal\u00fclen emekliye ay\u0131rd\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Bir i\u015fte diki\u015f tutturamadan g\u00fcnler ge\u00e7iyordu. Okul yar\u0131m g\u00fcnd\u00fc, kalan zamanda para kazanmak \u015fartt\u0131. Bir g\u00fcn, kasaban\u0131n yak\u0131nlar\u0131ndaki askeri k\u0131\u015flan\u0131n (Ula\u015ft\u0131rma Taburu) duvar\u0131 boyunca aylak aylak voltalarken, askerlere ayran, gazoz, lahmacun vs. satanlar dikkatimi \u00e7ekti. Sat\u0131\u015f potansiyelini anlamak i\u00e7in pe\u015flerine tak\u0131ld\u0131m. Fena de\u011fildi. Yeniden sat\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011fa heveslendim. \u201cAma sermayesi s\u0131f\u0131r olan bir\u015fey bulmal\u0131\u201d diye s\u00f6ylendim, kendi kendime.<\/p>\n

B\u00f6ylece, sahipsiz bah\u00e7elerden meyva toplay\u0131p gazete kulahlar\u0131nda askerlere satma giri\u015fimcili\u011fim ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f oldu. A\u011fa\u00e7lara t\u0131rman, elma-armut-erik vs. topla, bezle parlat, be\u015ferli-onarl\u0131 k\u00fclahla. K\u00fclah\u0131n b\u00fcy\u00fckl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne ve meyvan\u0131n cinsine g\u00f6re 5 kuru\u015f, 10 kuru\u015f. Pazar fiyatlar\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7ok alt\u0131nda, ama sermayesi s\u0131f\u0131r. Askerler \u00f6nce yad\u0131rgad\u0131lar, sonra \u201ckendi bah\u00e7emizden\u201d yalan\u0131m\u0131 ve \u201cokul har\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131\u201d gerek\u00e7emi desteklediler. Nedendir bilmem bana \u2018kumandan\u2019 diye sesleniyorlard\u0131. Birka\u00e7 hafta i\u00e7inde kal\u0131c\u0131 m\u00fc\u015fteriler edindim. M\u00fc\u015fteri sadakat\u0131 g\u00fcvene, g\u00fcven ise beni felakete s\u00fcr\u00fckleyen suistimale evrildi…<\/p>\n

Birg\u00fcn, konu\u015fmalar\u0131n\u0131 zar-zor anlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m iki asker, \u201cKumandan, mektup versek postaneden g\u00f6nderir misin\u201d dediler. Hizmette s\u0131n\u0131r yoktu, teredd\u00fcts\u00fcz olurlad\u0131m. \u0130ki mektup, 10\u2019ardan 20 kuru\u015f posta \u00fccreti, 10 kuru\u015f da bah\u015fi\u015f. Sat\u0131\u015f\u0131 bitirip postane yolunu tuttum. Saat be\u015f faland\u0131. Postaneye yakla\u015f\u0131rken sinsi bir ihanet akl\u0131m\u0131 ele ge\u00e7irmeye ba\u015flad\u0131. \u00d6nce, sanki hafifletici sebep yaratmak \u00fczere etrafta voltalayarak postanenin kapanmas\u0131n\u0131 bekledim. Sonra, yandaki bakkaldan bir paket \u2018Yaka\u2019 sigaras\u0131 ve bir kibrit ald\u0131m. Kasaban\u0131n d\u0131\u015f\u0131na y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcm. Iss\u0131z bir t\u00fcmse\u011fe oturup c\u0131garan\u0131n keyfini \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131m. Bir, iki, \u00fc\u00e7… Pe\u015f pe\u015fe dumanlad\u0131m kendimi. Ak\u015fam alacas\u0131nda geri y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcm, mektuplar\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fck bir \u00e7\u00f6p bidonuna att\u0131m. 20 kuru\u015f u\u011fruna…<\/p>\n

Eve d\u00f6n\u00fcnce kendimi daha k\u00f6t\u00fc hissettim. Sessizce yeme\u011fimi yedim, arka odaya ge\u00e7ip sanki Tanr\u0131\u2019n\u0131n \u2018g\u00fcnah\u2019, Apsuara\u2019n\u0131n \u2018ay\u0131p\u2019 sopas\u0131ndan ka\u00e7arcas\u0131na uykuya yatt\u0131m. Valide d\u00fcrtt\u00fc: Hayrola, hasta m\u0131s\u0131n… Kalkt\u0131m, mutfaktaki aile kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131na g\u00f6r\u00fcnmeden \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131m, mektuplar\u0131 att\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u00e7op bidonuna ko\u015ftum. Ko\u015ftum, ko\u015ftum. Ko\u015ftuk\u00e7a sanki i\u00e7imdeki s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131 u\u00e7up gidiyordu. Bo\u015funayd\u0131, belediyenin \u00e7\u00f6p toplay\u0131c\u0131lar\u0131 bidonu bo\u015faltm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Yanl\u0131\u015ftan geri d\u00f6nme \u015fans\u0131m kalmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u201cYar\u0131n askerlere yedi\u011fim halt\u0131 anlat\u0131p, paralar\u0131n\u0131 geri veririm\u201dle kendimi teselli edip eve d\u00f6nd\u00fcm, her\u015fey yolundaym\u0131\u015fcas\u0131na aile muhabbetine kat\u0131ld\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Evet, yar\u0131n olunca askeri k\u0131\u015flan\u0131n duvar\u0131na dayand\u0131m. Ama, b\u0131rak\u0131n g\u00fcnah \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131p para iadesini, ba\u015fkaca askerlerden postaya at\u0131lmak \u00fczere yeni mektuplar ald\u0131m, ayn\u0131 \u015fekilde mektuplar \u00e7\u00f6pe, paralar cebe.<\/p>\n

Birka\u00e7 g\u00fcn sonra daha fenas\u0131n\u0131 yapt\u0131m. Mektuplar\u0131 imha etmeden \u00f6nce okumaya ba\u015flad\u0131m. Benim ilkokul \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc s\u0131n\u0131fta edinmi\u015f oldu\u011fum yaz\u0131m ve imla d\u00fczeyimin de alt\u0131nda, kargac\u0131k-burgac\u0131k harflarla k\u0131r\u0131k-d\u00f6k\u00fck c\u00fcmleler. Mektuplar\u0131n \u00e7o\u011fu Hakkari, Van, Diyarbak\u0131r, A\u011fr\u0131, Siirt, Bitlis gibi Do\u011fu ve G\u00fcneydo\u011fu b\u00f6lgesi adreslerine yaz\u0131l\u0131yd\u0131. Anaya, babaya, ablaya, abiye, kar\u0131ya, k\u0131za… Bir de, kimi mektuplar\u0131n sonlar\u0131nda w\u2019lerin, x\u2019lerin serpi\u015fti\u011fi, anlam\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6kemedi\u011fim birka\u00e7 sat\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Denir ki, h\u0131rs\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n ve yalanc\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n ba\u015flang\u0131c\u0131 zordur. \u0130lk e\u015fik ge\u00e7ilince gerisi kolayca gelirmi\u015f. Belki tetik\u00e7ilik de b\u00f6yledir ya da seri katil olmak. Benim, askerlerin mektuplar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6pe, paralar\u0131n\u0131 cebe atma doland\u0131r\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u00f6yle olmad\u0131; her keresi ilki kadar zordu. Bir batakl\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7ine d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f gibiydim. Batt\u0131k\u00e7a debeleniyor, debelendik\u00e7e daha da bat\u0131yordum.<\/p>\n

Bataktan kurtulmak umuduyla, k\u0131\u015flada postane olup olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, \u00e7ar\u015f\u0131 izinlerinde postaneye gitmek yerine neden mektuplar\u0131 bana verdiklerini sordum. K\u0131\u015flada posta hizmeti vard\u0131 ama gelen giden b\u00fct\u00fcn mektuplar ba\u015f\u00e7avu\u015flar taraf\u0131ndan okunuyordu. D\u0131\u015fardaki postaneye mektup vermeleriyse yasakt\u0131. Bir tanesi, \u201ckar\u0131ma mektup yazar\u0131m, ba\u015fkas\u0131 g\u00f6rs\u00fcn-okusun istemem karda\u015f\u2019 dedi.<\/p>\n

Dertleri ger\u00e7ek\u00e7i, gerek\u00e7eleri makuld\u00fc. Ar\u0131za bendeydi. Her ge\u00e7en g\u00fcn biraz daha sessizle\u015fiyor, uykular\u0131m b\u00f6l\u00fcn\u00fcyordu. Annemin derdimi sorgulayan s\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131rmalar\u0131 artm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u0130\u00e7imde herge\u00e7en g\u00fcn b\u00fcy\u00fcyen bir ur vard\u0131. Akl\u0131ma, y\u00fcre\u011fime, mideme yumruk gibi oturan bir ur.<\/p>\n

Bu a\u011f\u0131r y\u00fcke iki ay kadar dayand\u0131m. Sonra, bir mektupta, \u201cbu mektubu iyi bir karda\u015f sayesinde ba\u015fka g\u00f6z de\u011fmeden g\u00f6nderiyorum\u201dla ba\u015flayan sat\u0131rlar\u0131 okuyunca pes ettim. \u2018\u0130yi karda\u015f\u2019 ha!.. Bu kez d\u00f6kt\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm timsah\u0131n g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131 de\u011fildi. Sanki i\u00e7imdeki ur g\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131 olup d\u0131\u015fa vurmu\u015ftu. Askeri k\u0131\u015flan\u0131n yan\u0131ndan bile ge\u00e7mez oldum.<\/p>\n

Su\u00e7 mahallinden ka\u00e7arak su\u00e7unuzu unutabilir misiniz?.. Benimki su\u00e7tan \u00f6te, ihanetti. Unutmad\u0131m ama aylar ge\u00e7tik\u00e7e bo\u011faz\u0131m\u0131 s\u0131kan mengene gev\u015femeye ba\u015flad\u0131, su\u00e7luluk duygum k\u00fcllendi. A\u00e7 g\u00f6zl\u00fcl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm y\u00fcz\u00fcnden iyi bir gelir kayna\u011f\u0131 olan toplama meyva sat\u0131\u015f\u0131 da sona ermi\u015fti. Ba\u015fka me\u015fguliyetler, i\u015fler, u\u011fra\u015flar \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131k\u00e7a yeniden kendimi toparlamaya ba\u015flad\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Avant\u00fcrizme al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131n fingirdekli\u011fi ile \u00e7evreyi kolo\u00e7an ediyordum. Kasaba meydan\u0131nda Atat\u00fcrk heykeli arkas\u0131ndaki bal\u0131kl\u0131 havuzda, arada bir parlay\u0131p bulan\u0131k suyun dibinden kendini g\u00f6steren dilek paralar\u0131na g\u00f6z koydum. Eski bir radyoyu par\u00e7alarken ke\u015ffetti\u011fim m\u0131knat\u0131s\u0131 ipe ba\u011flay\u0131p, ak\u015fam tenhal\u0131\u011f\u0131nda demir paralar\u0131 \u00e7ekmeye ba\u015flad\u0131m. Bir zab\u0131tan\u0131n, \u201cburda bal\u0131k yakalaman\u0131n yasak oldu\u011funu bilmiyor musun lan\u201d \u015fapla\u011f\u0131, o i\u015fi de sonland\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Yeniden ger\u00e7ek hayata d\u00f6nd\u00fcm, kazanmak i\u00e7in al\u0131nteri d\u00f6kmenin gerekti\u011fi ger\u00e7ek hayat. \u0130lkokul d\u00f6rt bitmeden, yani 11 ya\u015f\u0131m\u0131n bahar\u0131nda k\u00f6fteci Orhan Kurubacak\u2019\u0131n yan\u0131nda \u00e7\u0131rak olarak i\u015f tuttum. \u0130ki y\u0131l i\u00e7inde, yan\u0131nda \u00e7\u0131rak \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131racak kadar parlak bir kariyer edindim. Kasan\u0131n yan\u0131nda, \u00fczerinde \u2018Kumandan\u2019 yazan \u00f6zel bah\u015fi\u015f kumbaram vard\u0131. G\u00fcnl\u00fck y\u00f6vmiyem 2 liraya, ortalama bah\u015fi\u015f gelirim de 1,5 liraya kadar y\u00fckselmi\u015fti. \u0130lkokul, ortaokul b\u00f6yle ge\u00e7ti. Sonra ver elini \u0130stanbul…<\/p>\n

Her\u015feyi geride b\u0131rakt\u0131m. K\u00f6y\u00fc, kasabay\u0131, akrabalar\u0131, okul ve mahalle arkada\u015flar\u0131m\u0131, sevdi\u011fim k\u0131zlar\u0131, gelecek vaadeden k\u00f6ftecilik kariyerimi . Ve g\u00fcnahlar\u0131m\u0131. \u0130stanbul, her\u015feye yeniden ba\u015flamak i\u00e7in idealdi. Ben de yeni hayata kanat \u00e7\u0131rpt\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Lisede edindi\u011fim birka\u00e7 arkada\u015f, geride b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 sand\u0131\u011f\u0131m ge\u00e7mi\u015fimin beni terk etmedi\u011fini y\u00fcz\u00fcme vurdu. Bunlar K\u00fcrt’t\u00fc ve i\u015fte o asker mektuplar\u0131n\u0131n adreslerinde yaz\u0131l\u0131 kentlerden \u00e7\u0131kagelmi\u015flerdi. W,x harflerinin serpi\u015fti\u011fi sat\u0131rlar\u0131n K\u00fcrt\u00e7e oldu\u011funu b\u00f6ylece \u00f6\u011frendim. Hikayemi anlatt\u0131m, g\u00fcl\u00fcp ge\u00e7tiler. Kabuk ba\u011flayan yaram biraz kanam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ya, ben de g\u00fcl\u00fcp ge\u00e7tim. Metropol hayat\u0131, benim naif ahlaki saplant\u0131lar\u0131ma de\u011fer bi\u00e7mekle ilgilenmedi. Vatan, millet, siyaset gibi b\u00fcy\u00fck meseleler vard\u0131. Kendimi metropol\u00fcn dinamik ak\u0131\u015f\u0131na b\u0131rakt\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Sonra, 1984\u2019de bir \u015fans \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131ma. 8 ayl\u0131k k\u0131sa d\u00f6nemli askerli\u011fimi s\u00fcrg\u00fcn olarak A\u011fr\u0131 Ele\u015fkirt\u2019teki k\u0131\u015flada tamamlad\u0131m. Foto\u011fraf ayn\u0131yd\u0131. Sadece roller de\u011fi\u015fmi\u015fti. Ben k\u0131\u015fla i\u00e7inde askerdim, onlar k\u0131\u015fla duvar\u0131n\u0131n dibine gelip bir\u015feyler satmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan \u00e7ocuklard\u0131. \u0130\u015fte, bor\u00e7 \u00f6deme ve vicdan temizleme vakti. O \u00e7ocuklara herg\u00fcn iki-\u00fc\u00e7 mektup verdim. Posta paras\u0131 ve bah\u015fi\u015f. Birka\u00e7\u0131, \u00fczerindeki isim ve adresleri ger\u00e7ek, sahici mektuplard\u0131. \u00c7o\u011fu ise uydurma isim ve adresler yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bo\u015f kay\u0131tl\u0131 zarflar. Ve her defas\u0131nda, \u201ce\u011fer postaneye yolunuz d\u00fc\u015fmezse dert de\u011fil, bir \u00e7\u00f6p bidonuna at\u0131n gitsin\u201d diye y\u00f6nlendirmeyi ihmal etmedim. Ertesi g\u00fcn \u2018abi mektuplar\u0131 postaya verdim\u2019 diyenlerden inand\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 olanlar\u0131n\u0131 eledim, kendime yeni i\u015fbirlik\u00e7ileri arad\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Ne yaz\u0131k ki, askerlik bitip \u0130stanbul\u2019a d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde, sahici isim ve adreslere g\u00f6nderdi\u011fim o birka\u00e7 mektubun sahiplerine ula\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6\u011frendim. Umudum, uydurma isim ve adresler yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131m zarflar\u0131n, Ele\u015fkirt\u2019in \u00e7\u00f6plerine kar\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f olmas\u0131d\u0131r. Aksi halde, K\u00fcrtlere insani-vicdani ki\u015fisel borcum devam ediyor demektir.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sezai Babakuş 17.09.2010 Anayasa değişikliği referandumundan iki gün önce, 10 Eylül tarihli yazımda vicdani ret hakkımı kullanacağımı belirtmiştim. Bundan kastım ‘evet’, ‘hayır’ ve ‘boykot’ üçgeni dışında kalmaktı. Yani, sandığa gidecek, ‘geçersiz’ oy kullanacak ve nev-i şahsıma münhasır bir tavır koyacaktım. İtiraf edeyim ki, öyle yapmadım. Biraz referans aldığım aydınların ve dahil olduğum ‘78 kuşağı solcularının 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