{"id":2332,"date":"2019-02-22T21:47:38","date_gmt":"2019-02-22T21:47:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/circassiancenter.com\/tr\/?p=2332"},"modified":"2019-02-22T21:47:38","modified_gmt":"2019-02-22T21:47:38","slug":"donuscunun-turkusu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/donuscunun-turkusu\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018D\u00d6N\u00dc\u015e\u2019\u00c7\u00dcN\u00dcN T\u00dcRK\u00dcS\u00dc…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sezai Babaku\u015f<\/strong>
\n<\/span><\/span>12.01.2011<\/span><\/p>\n

1864\u2019den 1878\u2019e onbe\u015f y\u0131lda birbu\u00e7uk milyonduk vatan\u0131 terke zorlanan, 1990\u2019dan 2010\u2019a yirmi y\u0131lda \u00fc\u00e7biniz vatana geri yolalan. Hen\u00fcz \u00fc\u00e7bin d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f \u00f6yk\u00fcs\u00fc yazabildik, \u00fc\u00e7 bin d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f t\u00fcrk\u00fcs\u00fc. Binleri onbinlere, onbinleri y\u00fczbinlere ula\u015ft\u0131rabilsek bir destan yazm\u0131\u015f olaca\u011f\u0131z. \u015eimdilik her d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00e7\u00fc kendi \u00f6yk\u00fcs\u00fcnde, kendi t\u00fcrk\u00fcs\u00fcnde. Herbir\u0131 k\u0131ymetli, herbiri destan\u0131m\u0131za bir iplik. Ve elbet, bu ayr\u0131 \u00f6yk\u00fclerin bu ayr\u0131 t\u00fcrk\u00fclerin hepsinde ortak bir s\u00f6z, ortak bir ses vard\u0131r: zordur d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00e7\u00fc olmak…<\/p>\n

Evet, d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00e7\u00fc olmak zordur. En ba\u015f\u0131nda karar verip yola d\u00fc\u015fmek…<\/p>\n

\u0130ster d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fc \u2018olmazsa olmaz\u2019la\u015ft\u0131ran bir yurtseverli\u011fin ve milliyet\u00e7ili\u011fin neferi ol, ister toplumsall\u0131\u011f\u0131 ki\u015fiselli\u011fin \u00f6n\u00fcnde tutan bir idealist-yurtsever-ol, bil ki o an geldi\u011finde, yani \u2018art\u0131k vaktidir\u2019 dendi\u011finde akl\u0131n-y\u00fcre\u011fin \u00fcrker, ayaklar\u0131n titrer. Eee kolay de\u011fil, bilinen bir hayat\u0131 terkedeceksindir bilinmez bir hayat u\u011fruna. Olmazlar\u0131n\u0131 a\u015f\u0131p, acabalar\u0131n\u0131 dindirip yola d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde ise, sen gibi s\u0131nav\u0131 ge\u00e7ip yola d\u00fc\u015fenlerin say\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n ne kadar da az oldu\u011funu g\u00f6r\u00fcp bocalars\u0131n. Fikirda\u015fl\u0131kta \u2018mangal y\u00fcrek\u2019 dostlar\u0131n\u0131n yolda\u015fl\u0131kta nas\u0131l yan \u00e7izer olduklar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcp, \u015fa\u015f\u0131r\u0131rs\u0131n. K\u0131zars\u0131n, k\u00fcsersin, kahredersin.<\/p>\n

Yine de bilirsin i\u015f ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr, devam edersin; y\u00fczy\u0131ld\u0131r biriktirdi\u011fin hasleti-hasreti s\u0131rtlan\u0131p y\u00fcr\u00fcrs\u00fcn anavatan\u0131na, atalar\u0131n\u0131n b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 oca\u011f\u0131 yeniden alevlemeye.<\/p>\n

Hi\u00e7 ku\u015fku yok sen en do\u011fru olan\u0131 yapm\u0131\u015fs\u0131nd\u0131r, hi\u00e7 ku\u015fku yok sen inand\u0131\u011f\u0131n u\u011fruna tarihi bir ad\u0131m atm\u0131\u015fs\u0131nd\u0131r. Ama bil ki seni kar\u015f\u0131layan ger\u00e7eklik tehayy\u00fcl etti\u011finden epeyce farkl\u0131 olacakt\u0131r. \u0130dealize etti\u011fin vatanla kar\u015f\u0131la\u015faca\u011f\u0131n vatan ayn\u0131 olmayacakt\u0131r. Senin vatan-millet a\u015fk\u0131nla, yurtseverli\u011finle, hasretinle, toplumsal m\u00fccadele inanc\u0131nla, ya\u015fam anlay\u0131\u015f\u0131nla, hasletinle, hedefinle… velhas\u0131l\u0131 \u00f6nceliklendirdi\u011fin ve \u00f6nemsedi\u011fin ne varsa, ya kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bulamayacaks\u0131n ya da epeyce farkl\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131klar bulacaks\u0131nd\u0131r. Zira ad\u0131m att\u0131\u011f\u0131n bu d\u00fcnyada, hem aciliyetler farkl\u0131d\u0131r hem d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnme-\u00f6nemseme tarz\u0131 ve eylem \u015fekli …<\/p>\n

Evet, ad\u0131m att\u0131\u011f\u0131n bu vatanda her\u015fey farkl\u0131d\u0131r. Bu y\u00fczden, belki yurtseverli\u011fi senden on kat fazla olan oral\u0131y\u0131 sen yurtsever olarak bile g\u00f6rmeyeceksin. Belki senden on kez fazla Adige, Abaza olan\u0131 sen be\u011fenmeyeceksin. Kimse senin gibi bakmayacak, kimse senin gibi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeyecek. En anla\u015fabildi\u011fin-uyu\u015fabildi\u011fin ve en yak\u0131n dostluk kurdu\u011fun \u00fc\u00e7be\u015f ki\u015finin bile, asl\u0131nda senden ne kadar da uzakta oldu\u011funu g\u00f6recek ve kendini yaln\u0131z hissedeceksin. Ve anavatan\u0131na, o her g\u00fcn\u00fcne d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce, her gecene d\u00fc\u015f olup giren vatan\u0131na, seni yeterince sarmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in serzeni\u015fte bulunmaya ba\u015flayacaks\u0131n. Yanl\u0131\u015f-eksik anlamalar\u0131n her ge\u00e7en g\u00fcn artacak, oradanlar\u0131 \u2018\u00e7\u0131karc\u0131, bencil\u2019 olmakla su\u00e7lamaya ba\u015flayacaks\u0131n. Herg\u00fcn akl\u0131n-y\u00fcre\u011fin \u00f6rselenecek. Herg\u00fcn yurtseverli\u011fin-toplumseverli\u011fin s\u0131nanacak. Sohum, Nal\u00e7ik, Maykop ya da \u00c7erkesk sokaklar\u0131nda ad\u0131mlar\u0131n\u0131 \u00fcrkek ve karars\u0131z atmaya ba\u015flayacaks\u0131n. Biba\u015f\u0131na uzun y\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fc\u015fler yapacaks\u0131n. En s\u0131cak havada bile s\u0131rt\u0131n \u00fc\u015f\u00fcyecek. Ak\u015fam tek g\u00f6z evine \u00e7ekildi\u011finde, hayal k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fc umuttan ve sab\u0131rdan bir battaniye \u00f6rterek \u0131s\u0131nmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015facaks\u0131n. Umut d\u00fc\u015f\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fc tutacak, sab\u0131r zorlu\u011fa direncinin yeganesi olacak. D\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00e7\u00fc olmak zordur.<\/p>\n

Zordur d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00e7\u00fc olmak. E\u011fer yelkenlerini \u015fi\u015firen ve seni ta\u015f\u0131yan yegane r\u00fczgar toplumsal sorumluluksa, yani bireycili\u011fi de\u011fil toplumculu\u011fu y\u00fccelten bir felsefenin \u00e7ocu\u011fu isen, daha bir zordur d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00e7\u00fc olmak. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc, toplumculu\u011fu \u00f6ne koyup yola \u00e7\u0131kan sen, toplumculuktan yorgun d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f olanlar diyar\u0131na ad\u0131m atm\u0131\u015fs\u0131nd\u0131r. Sen, bireycili\u011fin zemininden \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p kolektif gelece\u011fin merdivenlerini t\u0131rmanarak oraya varm\u0131\u015fken, orada kar\u015f\u0131la\u015facaklar\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7o\u011fu kolektivizm dersinden s\u0131k\u0131l\u0131p bireysel kurtulu\u015fa inmeye ba\u015flayanlar olacakt\u0131r. Sen onlara b\u0131kt\u0131klar\u0131 dersi anlatmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015facaks\u0131n, onlarsa sana reddetti\u011fin hayat\u0131n elzemlerini. Zorluk buradad\u0131r. Hem d\u00f6nen sen i\u00e7in zordur, hem kar\u015f\u0131layan onlar i\u00e7in. Bu mersin\u2019e gidenle tersin\u2019e gidenin hikayesi gibidir. Kesi\u015fmeyen yollarda kucakla\u015fma aramak gibidir. Bak\u0131n\u0131rs\u0131n etrafa bo\u015f g\u00f6zlerle…<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

D\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fc\u00fc olmak zordur. Senin zorlu\u011fun, ger\u00e7ekli\u011fini yeterince \u00f6l\u00e7meden-bi\u00e7meden, en yal\u0131n-en masum duygu ve d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerle idealize etti\u011fin bir vatana ad\u0131m atm\u0131\u015f olmand\u0131r. Kendi kendine bir cennet tasavvur etmi\u015f, onun pe\u015finden gitmi\u015fsindir. Asl\u0131nda bir bak\u0131ma \u00f6yledir de, epeyce \u00f6yledir. Da\u011f\u0131na-ta\u015f\u0131na, topra\u011f\u0131na-suyuna, havas\u0131na-ku\u015funa her\u015feyiyle hep hayal etti\u011fin gibidir. Arada bir, geride b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00fclkede uzak durmaya \u00e7abalad\u0131\u011f\u0131n solgun beton bloklar, karamsarl\u0131k abidesi kaba-saba binalar, hoyratca h\u0131rpalanm\u0131\u015f g\u00fczelim do\u011fa, en geri kalm\u0131\u015f \u00fclkeleri aratmayan pazarlar-\u00e7ar\u015f\u0131lar-d\u00fckkanlar kafana tak\u0131lsa da, bahtiyars\u0131nd\u0131r, vatana gelmi\u015f olmaktan. Her\u015feye ra\u011fmen o kadar g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fcd\u00fcr ki do\u011fa ve o kadar g\u00fczeldir ki memleket, secde edersin sevin\u00e7le, gururla. Toprak \u0131s\u0131t\u0131r y\u00fcre\u011fini. G\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcndeki y\u0131ld\u0131zlar, geli\u015finden sevinen atalar\u0131nm\u0131\u015f gibi g\u00f6zk\u0131rpar, s\u0131cac\u0131k kucaklar seni. Her soluklan\u0131\u015fta ba\u015f\u0131n d\u00f6ner oksijen bollu\u011fundan. Suyu berrakt\u0131r, ekme\u011fi lezzet. Ge\u00e7er g\u00fcnlerin p\u00fcr heyecan. Raslad\u0131\u011f\u0131n herkes y\u00fcz\u00fcne g\u00fcl\u00fcmser, anlars\u0131n sevildi\u011fini. \u0130\u015fler yolunda dersin. \u0130yi ki geldim dersin. Hi\u00e7 ku\u015fku yok, iyi ki gelmi\u015fsindir.<\/p>\n

\u0130\u015fte zorluk da bundan sonra ba\u015flar. Ho\u015fbe\u015fi ge\u00e7er, memleketin haline milletin ahvaline koyulursun. Ne yapars\u0131n ki, toplumsall\u0131k, yurtseverlik vazge\u00e7emeyece\u011fin bir ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131kt\u0131r(!)… Varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n ve geli\u015finin sebeb-i hikmeti budur. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceni d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceleriyle, duygunu duygular\u0131yla harmanlamak istersin. Konu\u015ftu\u011funuz ayn\u0131 dildir. Hi\u00e7 de\u011filse derdinin yar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 anlatabilir, s\u00f6ylenenin yar\u0131s\u0131ndan \u00e7o\u011funu anlayabilirsin. Derinlik kazmaya ba\u015flars\u0131n memleket meseleleri \u00fczerine. Sen kazd\u0131k\u00e7a etraf\u0131ndakilerin say\u0131s\u0131 azal\u0131r. Farketmezsin, kazmaya devam edersin. Sonra ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131r, bakars\u0131n yaln\u0131z kal\u0131\u015f\u0131na. Y\u00fcre\u011fin burkulur, akl\u0131n kar\u0131\u015f\u0131r. Ah, dersin ne hata yapt\u0131m. Hata sende de\u011fildir, sen kendi ger\u00e7e\u011finle, sen kendi bildi\u011finle derinlere yol alm\u0131\u015fs\u0131nd\u0131r. Onlar da kendi ger\u00e7ekleriyle, bildikleriyle. Belki ayn\u0131 derinliklerdesinizdir, ayr\u0131 yollarda…<\/p>\n

D\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00e7\u00fc olmak zordur. Her\u015feyden \u00f6nce d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn topraklarda hayat zordur, m\u00fccadele \u00e7etin. H\u00fcmanizmin denizinden, idealizmin kumsal\u0131ndan, romantizmin savanlar\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p gelmi\u015fsen, bu iklime ayak uydurman zordur. Kuzeyin sert-so\u011fuk iklimi tependedir. \u2018B\u00fcy\u00fck birader\u2019 daha as\u0131k suratl\u0131d\u0131r ve \u2018Tanr\u0131\u2019n\u0131n adamlar\u0131\u2019 daha ac\u0131mas\u0131z. Hani evindesin hakk\u0131nd\u0131r ya, daha fazla konfor d\u00fc\u015flersen, diyasporanda bulmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n kadar demokrasi beklersen, diyasporanda bilmedi\u011fin kadar insan hakk\u0131 istersen, bil ki bo\u015funad\u0131r. Her s\u00f6z\u00fcn ku\u015fku \u00e7eker, her d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncen sorgulan\u0131r. B\u00fcy\u00fck bir g\u00f6zalt\u0131n\u0131n mazlumu olursun, demirden bir raf\u0131n kal\u0131n bir dosyas\u0131. Bilesin, geldi\u011fin yer vatand\u0131r ve her vatan gibi dikenli bir g\u00fcl bah\u00e7esi.<\/p>\n

Zordur d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00e7\u00fc olmak. Hele b\u00fcy\u00fck bir kentten \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015fsan yola, dokunmu\u015fsan iyi-k\u00f6t\u00fc metropol depdebesine, tatm\u0131\u015fsan \u015fehir uygarl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n sundu\u011fu binbir karma\u015f\u0131k lezzeti, d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00e7\u00fc olmak daha bir zordur. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc varaca\u011f\u0131n en iyi yer, 30-40 y\u0131l \u00f6nce geride b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131n kasaba kentlerdir. Kasaba hayat tarz\u0131, kasaba sosyetesi, kasaba demokrasisi \u00e7evreler seni. Birt\u00fcrl\u00fc kaybolamazs\u0131n i\u00e7inde, kaybolup kendin olamazs\u0131n. Att\u0131\u011f\u0131n her ad\u0131m g\u00f6zlenir, yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n her i\u015f markajlan\u0131r. Do\u011frun \u00f6nemsizdir, yanl\u0131\u015f\u0131n dillenir. Bir kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7indesindir ama ait olamazs\u0131n, biba\u015f\u0131nas\u0131nd\u0131r ama birey olamazs\u0131n. Kasaba havas\u0131 zapteder seni, \u00fcst\u00fcne yap\u0131\u015f\u0131r. S\u0131kar, bo\u011far, nefessiz b\u0131rak\u0131r ad\u0131m ad\u0131m. Bilesin, d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00e7\u00fc olmak zordur.<\/p>\n

Ve her zorluk yeni zorluklara iter seni. Oral\u0131larla yeterince halhamur olamay\u0131\u015f\u0131n seni, senin gibi hasretini-hasletini y\u00fcklenip gelmi\u015f di\u011fer d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00e7\u00fclerle yol arkada\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131na zorlar. Hayalk\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131n payla\u015f\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131, yanl\u0131\u015flar\u0131n abart\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131, k\u0131zg\u0131nl\u0131klar\u0131n solundu\u011fu k\u00fcsk\u00fcn bir birlik-beraberlik ruhunun par\u00e7as\u0131 olursun. Benze\u015ftiklerin ve benze\u015fmediklerinle yat\u0131p kalkars\u0131n. Her ge\u00e7en g\u00fcn marjinalle\u015firsin. Hi\u00e7 akl\u0131nda yokken, hi\u00e7 iste\u011fin de\u011filken savunmac\u0131 bir gettonun par\u00e7as\u0131 olursun. Yava\u015f yava\u015f anadilini m\u00fckemmelle\u015ftirmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fken yeniden diyaspora diline d\u00f6nersin. Uydu antenini diyaspora televizyonlar\u0131na ni\u015fanlar, yeniden diyaspora g\u00fcndemine kitlenirsin. Sen harici gettonun par\u00e7as\u0131 olduk\u00e7a, oral\u0131lar\u0131n sana mesafesi daha da artar. Ve getto i\u00e7inde \u00e7eki\u015fmeler artar, \u00e7atlamalar ba\u015flar. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck hizip gruplar olu\u015fur birine kap\u0131l\u0131rs\u0131n ya da nev-i \u015fahs\u0131na m\u00fcnhas\u0131r tek ki\u015filik hizip olursun. Kavgalar, g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcler artar. Belki geldi\u011fin yerde edinmedi\u011fin kahvehane k\u00fclt\u00fcr\u00fcyle burada tan\u0131\u015facaks\u0131n. Belki sen de okey stakan\u0131 birinin ba\u015f\u0131na ge\u00e7irmeye niyetleneceksin. Aylakl\u0131\u011fa d\u00fc\u015feceksin. T\u00fckeni\u015fin h\u0131zlanacak. Ve ak\u015fam ba\u015f\u0131na yast\u0131\u011fa koydu\u011funda, \u2018neredeyim ben\u2019 diyeceksin. D\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fc\u00fc olmak zordur.<\/p>\n

Belki bir can dostunla \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131n yola, belki e\u015fin-\u00e7ocuklar\u0131n… Son kalen onlard\u0131r, son tutunacaklar\u0131n. D\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00e7\u00fc olmak zordur ve zorluk artt\u0131k\u00e7a \u00e7ember daha da daral\u0131r. Ve can dostluklar, hayat arkada\u015fl\u0131klar \u00e7etin s\u0131navlardan ge\u00e7er. \u015eansl\u0131ysan, bil ki marifet sende de\u011fil yan\u0131ndakilerdedir. Kendini bir s\u00fcre daha ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131ysan, bil ki sana katlananlar\u0131n payanda fedakarl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndand\u0131r. E\u011fer onlar da senin kadar yorulmu\u015f, y\u0131pranm\u0131\u015f ve h\u0131r\u00e7\u0131nla\u015fm\u0131\u015fsa, d\u00f6n\u00fclmez ak\u015fam\u0131n ufkuna vard\u0131n demektir. Ya sen terkedeceksin yol arkada\u015flar\u0131n\u0131, ya onlar\u0131n terketmesine g\u00f6z yumacaks\u0131n. Sonra kafadengi yenilerin geli\u015fini bekleyeceksin, d\u00f6rt g\u00f6zle. Dostluklar\u0131 t\u00fckettik\u00e7e, t\u00fcketecek yeni dostluklar arayacaks\u0131n. G\u00f6zlerin yolda kald\u0131k\u00e7a sab\u0131rs\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n artacak, arada bir geri g\u00f6n\u00fcp fikirda\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 yolda\u015fl\u0131\u011fa \u00e7eviremeyenlere, seni yar\u0131 yolda b\u0131rakanlara hiddetleneceksin. \u00d6fken artacak, i\u00e7indeki huzursuzluk seni teslim alacak. Evet dostum, bunlar ger\u00e7ektir ve bu y\u00fczden d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00e7\u00fc olmak zor zanaatt\u0131r.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

D\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00e7\u00fc olmak, kurdu i\u00e7inde bir a\u011fa\u00e7 olmakt\u0131r. \u0130\u00e7indeki idealizm, yurtseverlik, toplumculuk, sorumluluk… ne varsa hepsi seni kemirir. D\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00e7\u00fc olmak, y\u00fcz k\u00fcs\u00fcr y\u0131ll\u0131k hava de\u011fi\u015fiminin \u015farho\u015fu olmakt\u0131r; yava\u015f nefes almay\u0131 bilmezsen afallars\u0131n, sendelersin…<\/p>\n

Belki sen, idealizmden \u00f6te malvarl\u0131\u011f\u0131 olmayan son ku\u015faks\u0131nd\u0131r, belki sonrakiler de\u011fi\u015fir, idealizmle-ger\u00e7ekli\u011fi ayn\u0131 valize s\u0131\u011fd\u0131r\u0131p \u00e7\u0131kar yola. Belki anavatandakiler de\u011fi\u015fir, \u2018bireysel kurtulu\u015f ill\u00fczyonu\u2019nu aralay\u0131p, unuttuklar\u0131 idealizme banarlar yine. Ve sonunda biraz burdan- biraz ordan\u2019lar\u0131n bulu\u015ftu\u011fu, birbirini daha kolay-iyi anlay\u0131p kucaklad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir makuliyet denkli\u011fine ula\u015f\u0131l\u0131r. Bu denkli\u011fe ula\u015fmadan, zordur d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00e7\u00fc olmak.<\/p>\n

D\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fc\u00fc olmak zordur da zorluklar\u0131 a\u015fmak m\u00fcmk\u00fcnd\u00fcr, bilesin. Tek yapaca\u011f\u0131n, yeni ger\u00e7ekli\u011fin nehrinde ak\u0131nt\u0131ya kendini b\u0131rakmakt\u0131r. \u00d6nceki hayat\u0131ndan ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131n do\u011frular\u0131n\u0131, gerekliliklerini, hedeflerini, \u00f6nceliklerini… velhas\u0131l\u0131 b\u00fct\u00fcn akli-kalbi y\u00fcklerini hafifletecek, varolu\u015f felsefeni yeni hayat\u0131na g\u00f6re ve ona uygun olarak yeniden yap\u0131land\u0131racaks\u0131n. Bir kere tevazuyu elden b\u0131rakmayacak, oral\u0131lara afralanmayacaks\u0131n. \u2018\u0130yi ki geldin\u2019 nezaketini zorlay\u0131p tafralanmayacaks\u0131n. Do\u011frular\u0131n\u0131 dayatma, bildiklerini \u00f6\u011fretme iddiandan vazge\u00e7ip, oran\u0131n bilinenlerini \u00f6\u011frenmeye niyetleneceksin. Marifet ayak diremek de\u011fil ayak uydurmakt\u0131r, bileceksin. Usulca kabulleneceksin. Orada seni ta\u015f\u0131yacak olan, ebediyyen ta\u015f\u0131yacak olan yegane \u015fey oran\u0131n ger\u00e7ekli\u011fidir. Bunu yalay\u0131p yutmal\u0131, bir g\u00fczel hazmetmelisin.<\/p>\n

D\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fc kal\u0131\u015fa tahvil etmek i\u00e7in olumsuzluk antenlerini s\u00f6k\u00fcp atmal\u0131, vesveseli dikkatini da\u011f\u0131tmal\u0131s\u0131n. Belki yeni me\u015fgaleler, yani seni ta\u015f\u0131yacak yeni r\u00fczgarlar bulmal\u0131s\u0131n. Mesela a\u015f\u0131k olmal\u0131 ve belki evlenmelisin, bir yoldur. Ya da ne bileyim, yeni beceriler-yeni meslekler edinip i\u015fine h\u0131rslanmal\u0131s\u0131n. Ya da biraz vurdumduymaz, has\u0131r\u0131 yanmaz bir geni\u015f y\u00fcrek edinmelisin. \u0130ti\u015f-kak\u0131\u015flar\u0131 Kabe ziyaretcisi bir sevin\u00e7le kar\u015f\u0131lamay\u0131 bilmelisin. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmekten \u00e7ok ko\u015fmay\u0131 sevmelisin, \u00fcz\u00fclmekten \u00e7ok kay\u0131ts\u0131zca g\u00fclmeyi. Gemileri yakt\u0131m demelisin, g\u00f6z\u00fcn-g\u00f6nl\u00fcn arkada olmamal\u0131. Geride kalanlara, seni yar\u0131 yolda b\u0131rakanlara hiddetini, \u2018Allah m\u00fcstehak\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 versin, cesaret sizi de bulsun\u2019 hafifli\u011finde ge\u00e7i\u015ftirmelisin. Her hal ve \u015fartta, arada bir sorho\u015f olup unutmaya yatacak kadar votka i\u00e7ebilmelisin. Misafir sofralar\u0131n\u0131 ka\u00e7\u0131rmamal\u0131, bir otura bir kalka ki\u015fiye \u00f6zel hamasetle ke\u015flenmenin keyfine varmal\u0131s\u0131n. Yurtsever-toplumcu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerinle ba\u015fba\u015fa b\u0131rak\u0131rsan kendini, yani fikri bol me\u015fgalesi az bir aylakl\u0131\u011fa \u00e7evirirsen g\u00fcnlerini, ya\u015fam\u0131 ta\u015f\u0131mak zordur, d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00e7\u00fc olmak zor.<\/p>\n

Evet dostum, d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00e7\u00fc olmak zordur. Bir kez oldum. 1990\u2019dan 1996\u2019ya yedi y\u0131l s\u00fcrd\u00fc.<\/p>\n

\u00d6yle d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fc siyaseten \u00f6ncelik belleyen, \u2018ba\u015fka yolu yok\u2019 diyen bir militanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n pe\u015finde de\u011fil de, m\u00fctevazi bir idealizmin tesad\u00fcfiyle s\u00fcr\u00fcklendim. \u0130yiki de s\u00fcr\u00fcklendim ve \u015fansl\u0131 bir ba\u015flang\u0131\u00e7 yapt\u0131m. Bir b\u00fcy\u00fck tehditin yeniden y\u00fckseltti\u011fi yurtseverlik-toplumculuk-kolektivizm dalgas\u0131na denk geldim, kendimce s\u00f6rf yapt\u0131m. Birlikteli\u011fin, ortak m\u00fccadelenin, toplumsall\u0131\u011f\u0131n en keskin ortam\u0131na dald\u0131m. Yurseverli\u011fin kararl\u0131l\u0131\u011fa, kararl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n direni\u015fe, direni\u015fin zafere y\u00fckseldi\u011fi bir derya denize girdim. Toplumsal zaferi ilk kez tatt\u0131m, \u00e7ok \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr. Ne b\u00fcy\u00fck bir and\u0131, ne b\u00fcy\u00fck bir bahtiyarl\u0131k…<\/p>\n

Sonra dalgalar yeniden duruldu, zaferin sarho\u015flu\u011fuyla karaya vurduk. Sava\u015fta herkes hasara u\u011frar, herkes bedel \u00f6der. Zafere ula\u015fmak zordu da, zaferin y\u00fck\u00fcn\u00fc ta\u015f\u0131mak daha zor oldu. Benim pay\u0131ma, en benden olanlar\u0131 yitirmek d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Bir de, toplumsall\u0131\u011f\u0131n k\u0131r\u0131lmas\u0131n\u0131, birlikteli\u011fin ufalanmas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rmek. Dayan\u0131\u015fman\u0131n yerini \u00e7eki\u015fme, yard\u0131mla\u015fman\u0131n yerini didi\u015fme ald\u0131. Yeniden bizbize\u2019nin ta\u015f\u0131namayan a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6k\u00fcverdi. \u2018Bazen b\u00f6yle olur, s\u0131k di\u015fini\u2019 dedi akl\u0131m, ama y\u00fcre\u011fim dinlemedi; direncim, umudum iflas etti. Sava\u015ftan \u00e7ok, sava\u015f sonras\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7\u00f6k\u00fcnt\u00fcs\u00fcnden korktum. Y\u00fck\u00fc ta\u015f\u0131yamad\u0131m. Kendimi ta\u015f\u0131yamad\u0131m. Pes ettim, en az\u0131ndan yeniden g\u00fc\u00e7 toplayana dek, diyasporama geri \u00e7ekildim. Ond\u00f6rt y\u0131ld\u0131r kendimi kand\u0131r\u0131r\u0131m, ha bug\u00fcn ha yar\u0131n diye yenilgimin tesbihini \u00e7ekerim. Yeniden pas tutar y\u00fcre\u011fim. Arada bir, bir gemi d\u00fc\u015flerim, be\u015fy\u00fcz cesur y\u00fcrek y\u00fcklensin, bir de ben olay\u0131m. Bir gemi beklerim i\u00e7imdeki pas\u0131 s\u00f6ks\u00fcn, s\u00f6ks\u00fcn beni s\u00fcr\u00fcklesin yeniden vatan\u0131ma…<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Ey d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00e7\u00fc karde\u015f, i\u015fte k\u0131ssadan hisse sana. Sen sen ol sak\u0131n ola y\u0131lma pes etme, ben gibi. Sak\u0131n ola, \u2018bir soluklanay\u0131m yeniden d\u00f6nerim\u2019 tuza\u011f\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fme, ben gibi. Orada, di\u015finle t\u0131rna\u011f\u0131nla \u00f6yk\u00fcn\u00fc yazmaya ve avaz\u0131nla t\u00fcrk\u00fcn\u00fc s\u00f6ylemeye devam et. Bir kez ara verdin mi vay haline, ben gibi… Cenette de cehennemde de yeri olmayan bir zebani misali kal\u0131rs\u0131n arafta, ben gibi. D\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00e7\u00fc olmak zordur, ama bilesin arafta kalmak daha da zor…<\/p>\n

Ey d\u00f6n\u00fc\u00e7c\u00fc karde\u015f s\u0131k di\u015fini, t\u0131rnaklar\u0131nla tutun. B\u0131rak yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n de\u011ferini toplum bi\u00e7sin, yeter ki tutun. B\u0131rak att\u0131\u011f\u0131n ad\u0131m\u0131n b\u00fcy\u00fckl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc tarih \u00f6l\u00e7s\u00fcn, yeter ki tutun. Hi\u00e7 endi\u015fen olmas\u0131n, toplumun seni bilir seni tan\u0131r, herg\u00fcn \u00f6yk\u00fcn\u00fc okur t\u00fcrk\u00fcn\u00fc dinler. Hi\u00e7 ku\u015fkun olmas\u0131n, tarih seni bilir seni tan\u0131r, her sat\u0131r\u0131nla ve her nakarat\u0131nla b\u00fcy\u00fck bir destana iplik dokursun.<\/p>\n

Ba\u015fard\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7in ve ba\u015farmaya devam etti\u011fin i\u00e7in \u00f6n\u00fcnde diz \u00e7\u00f6ker, sayg\u0131 dururuz. Sen, birbu\u00e7uk milyon terkedenimizin vicdan\u0131s\u0131n, sen birbu\u00e7uk milyon s\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcp at\u0131lan\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n y\u00fcre\u011fi… Y\u00fck\u00fcn a\u011f\u0131r, umudumuzu ta\u015f\u0131rs\u0131n…<\/p>\n

Sen gelece\u011fimizsin, destan\u0131m\u0131za ipekten bir ilmik…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sezai Babakuş 12.01.2011 1864’den 1878’e onbeş yılda birbuçuk milyonduk vatanı terke zorlanan, 1990’dan 2010’a yirmi yılda üçbiniz vatana geri yolalan. Henüz üçbin dönüş öyküsü yazabildik, üç bin dönüş türküsü. Binleri onbinlere, onbinleri yüzbinlere ulaştırabilsek bir destan yazmış olacağız. Şimdilik her dönüşçü kendi öyküsünde, kendi türküsünde. Herbirı kıymetli, herbiri destanımıza bir iplik. Ve elbet, bu ayrı […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"0","ocean_second_sidebar":"0","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"0","ocean_custom_header_template":"0","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"0","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"off","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[100],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2332","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar-sezai-babakus","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2332","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2332"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2332\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2333,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2332\/revisions\/2333"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2332"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2332"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2332"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}