{"id":2351,"date":"2019-02-22T22:15:59","date_gmt":"2019-02-22T22:15:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/circassiancenter.com\/tr\/?p=2351"},"modified":"2019-02-22T22:15:59","modified_gmt":"2019-02-22T22:15:59","slug":"iklimden-liana-yolculuk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/iklimden-liana-yolculuk\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018\u0130KL\u0130M\u2019DEN \u2018L\u0130AN\u2019A YOLCULUK…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sezai Babaku\u015f<\/strong>
\n<\/span><\/span>17.03.2011<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Koca kulak \u00e7etesi\u2019nin dinlemeleri medyaya s\u0131z\u0131p \u2018\u0130klim skandal\u0131\u2019 patlamasayd\u0131, Fatih Altayl\u0131 \u2018\u0130klim\u2019i Haber T\u00fcrk\u2019e \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131p uzun uzun konu\u015fturmasayd\u0131 ve \u0130smet Berkan H\u00fcrriyet\u2019te \u2018\u0130klim\u2019in \u2018Lian\u2019a benzerli\u011fini yaz\u0131p tuz biber ekmeseydi ben de k\u00fcllenmi\u015f an\u0131lar\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcne yatmaya devam edecektim. Ama ne fayda, hepsi \u00fcst \u00fcste geldi, \u2018cin \u015fi\u015feden \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u2019, eski an\u0131lar ac\u0131 bir tebess\u00fcm e\u015fli\u011finde ortal\u0131\u011fa sa\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131. Ka\u00e7\u0131\u015f yok. Benim i\u00e7in epeyce zor olsa da, bu evvel zaman yolculu\u011funu art\u0131k yapmal\u0131y\u0131m…<\/p>\n

\u0130klim\u2019i bildiniz; CHP\u2019nin sab\u0131k genel ba\u015fkan\u0131 Deniz Baykal\u2019\u0131n kendisini taciz etti\u011fini iddialay\u0131p yeni bir skandala kahramanl\u0131k eden \u015fu \u2018gazeteci\u2019 bayan. K\u0131sa s\u00fcredir Ankara\u2019da olup Ankara\u2019n\u0131n y\u0131llanm\u0131\u015f gazetecilerine ta\u015f \u00e7\u0131kartan, y\u00fcksek siyaset koridorlar\u0131nda naz\u0131 ge\u00e7en, her kap\u0131y\u0131 kolay a\u00e7an becerikli bir muharrir. Havadan zembille mi inmi\u015ftir yoksa otostopla m\u0131 siyasetin g\u00f6be\u011fine gelmi\u015ftir bilinmez… Bir anda memleketin en me\u015fhur gazetecisi oluvermi\u015ftir.<\/p>\n

Peki Lian\u2019\u0131 bildiniz mi?.. O da 1986\/87\u2019lerin en me\u015fhur \u2018gazeteci\u2019si. O da sanki zembille inip, otostopla gelip Bab\u0131ali yoku\u015funda k\u00f6\u015fe kapm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Onun da pek\u00e7ok marifeti vard\u0131. \u0130lgi oda\u011f\u0131 siyaset\u00e7iler de\u011fil gazetecilerdi. Epey bir gazetecinin oca\u011f\u0131na incir a\u011fac\u0131 diktikten sonra Engin Ard\u0131\u00e7\u2019\u0131n kitab\u0131nda ve Nokta dergisinin orta sayfas\u0131nda boy g\u00f6sterip tarihteki yerini alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ve s\u0131rra kadem basm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Onun da \u0130klim gibi birden \u00e7ok ad\u0131 vard\u0131, en bilineni Lian\u2019d\u0131.<\/p>\n

En belirgin ortak \u00f6zellikleri, gazetecilikle entrikac\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 biraz harmanlam\u0131\u015f olmalar\u0131d\u0131r. Yol ve y\u00f6ntemleri, ara\u00e7-gere\u00e7leri, hedefleri ve fiilleri t\u0131pat\u0131p de\u011filse de boylar\u0131n\u0131 a\u015fan oyunlara kalk\u0131\u015ft\u0131klar\u0131 muhakkakt\u0131r. Biri (Lian) kendi i\u00e7in kendi yaz\u0131p oynam\u0131\u015f, di\u011feri (\u0130klim) ise \u2018vatan-millet\u2019 i\u00e7in yaz\u0131lan\u0131 oynam\u0131\u015f. \u0130kisi de kendi \u00e7aplar\u0131nca ve kendi us\u00fcllerince bir \u2018Mata Hari\u2019 rol\u00fc \u00fcstlenmi\u015f.<\/p>\n

Benzerli\u011fin muhteviyat\u0131 bu kadarla s\u0131n\u0131rl\u0131 olsayd\u0131 belki pas ge\u00e7ebilirdim. Ama konu\u015fma tarzlar\u0131, vurgular\u0131, mimik ve jestleri o kadar t\u0131pk\u0131yd\u0131 ki, Fatih Altayl\u0131\u2019n\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda g\u00f6r\u00fcr g\u00f6rmez elektrik \u00e7arpm\u0131\u015fa d\u00f6nd\u00fcm. Sanki Lian, \u0130klim ad\u0131yla yeniden \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131 sahneye. Haf\u0131zam\u0131n dipsiz kuyusundan t\u0131rman\u0131p \u00e7\u0131kagelmi\u015fti. Dikkatli bakt\u0131m, g\u00f6zl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcn cam\u0131n\u0131 silip yeniden bakt\u0131m, fiziken t\u0131pk\u0131s\u0131 de\u011fildi elbet amma her bak\u0131\u015f\u0131, her g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f\u00fc, her \u00f6fkeleni\u015fi, her masumvari g\u00f6z k\u0131rp\u0131\u015ft\u0131rmas\u0131, her kafa sallay\u0131\u015f\u0131yla ayn\u0131yd\u0131. Ve, televizyondan f\u0131rlam\u0131\u015f kar\u015f\u0131mda duruyormu\u015fcas\u0131na hep bana bak\u0131yor gibiydi. Uzaktan kumandan\u0131n butonuna bas\u0131p kuyunun dibine g\u00f6ndermek i\u015ften bile de\u011fildi, ama ne m\u00fcmk\u00fcn hipnotize olmu\u015f halde izliyorum. Ku\u015fku yok, bu Lian\u2019d\u0131… Y\u0131llard\u0131r ka\u00e7 kad\u0131n\u0131 uzaktan ona benzetip irkilmi\u015f, ka\u00e7 kez yol de\u011fi\u015ftirmi\u015f, ka\u00e7 masadan tela\u015fla uzakla\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. \u015eimdi bu cesaret nereden, bu merak neden?… Zapla ge\u00e7!… Ne \u00e7are, bak\u0131yorum televizyona kabusa uyanamayan bir tutuklulukla. \u0130klim\u2019e bakt\u0131k\u00e7a Lian\u2019\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcyor, Lian\u2019\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fck\u00e7e an\u0131lar\u0131n labirentine yuvarlanmaya devam ediyordum.<\/p>\n

\u0130\u015fte b\u00f6yle bir ak\u015fam\u0131n, keyfimi ka\u00e7\u0131ran an\u0131lar\u0131n ve uykumu b\u00f6len karabasanlar\u0131n ard\u0131ndan yine de ertesi g\u00fcn unutmaya haz\u0131rd\u0131m. Yeni g\u00fcn\u00fcn ilk saatlerinde h\u00fcsn\u00fc kuruntumu zapdedip k\u00f6t\u00fc hat\u0131ralar\u0131n etkisinden \u00e7\u0131kmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fken \u0130smet Berkan\u2019\u0131n H\u00fcrriyet\u2019teki yaz\u0131s\u0131 ili\u015fiyor g\u00f6z\u00fcme: Lian hadisesini hat\u0131rlamak… <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u0130smet Berkan durmuyor, ertesi g\u00fcn daha da dalland\u0131r\u0131p balland\u0131rarak yazmaya devam ediyor: Bir Lian vard\u0131…<\/em> <\/strong> \u00a0Eh, ister istemez ba\u015fka yazan-\u00e7izen var m\u0131\u2019y\u0131 merak edip \u2018google pa\u015fa\u2019ya soruyorum Lian\u2019\u0131. Pe\u015f pe\u015fe d\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcyor; benzerli\u011fe dikkat \u00e7eken g\u00fcncel yaz\u0131lar-yorumlar, hat\u0131rlatma bab\u0131nda eski yaz\u0131lar-yorumlar, kup\u00fcrler, kolajlar, foto\u011fraflar, \u00e7izimler…<\/p>\n

Bu arada, arkada\u015flardan pe\u015f pe\u015fe telefonlar, mesajlar gelmeye ba\u015fl\u0131yor; \u0130smet Berkan\u2019\u0131n yaz\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 okudun mu, ne d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcn, ne hissettin… Yetmiyor, kimi gazeteci dostlar malzeme koparmak \u00fczere ar\u0131yor; Lian\u2019\u0131 anlat bize, Lian\u2019\u0131 yaz bize, \u015fimdi nerelerde, ne i\u015flerle me\u015fgul… Havalar\u0131n\u0131 ald\u0131lar elbet…<\/p>\n

\u2018Sadede gel be karde\u015fim\u2019 sab\u0131rs\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131na kap\u0131lan okuyucuya diyece\u011fim \u015fudur ki, bu \u2018Lian\u2019 1994\u2019de taa Abhazya\u2019lara gelip benim de hayat\u0131ma limon s\u0131km\u0131\u015f bir feno(wo)men\u2019d\u0131r. Hem de ne limon!…<\/p>\n

\u00d6yk\u00fc koca bir kitap yazd\u0131racak kadar uzun, \u00e7etrefilli ve janjanl\u0131d\u0131r. Burada sadece k\u0131sa bir \u00f6zet yapaca\u011f\u0131m; m\u00fcmk\u00fcn oldu\u011funca ki\u015fi haklar\u0131n\u0131, hasta haklar\u0131n\u0131 ve hakkaniyeti koruyarak, ve de \u2018insanl\u0131k hali\u2019nin ho\u015fg\u00f6r\u00fc s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6zeterek…<\/p>\n

1991\u2019den beri ya\u015famakta oldu\u011fum Abhazya\u2019da sava\u015f yeni bitmi\u015f, Trabzon-Sohum aras\u0131nda deniz ula\u015f\u0131m\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, diyasporadan geli\u015f gidi\u015fler h\u0131zlanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. 1994\u2019\u00fcn bahar\u0131nda, hi\u00e7 de\u011filse iki haftada bir limanda topla\u015f\u0131r, Trabzon\u2019dan Sohum\u2019a onlarca insan ta\u015f\u0131yan k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck gemiyi kar\u015f\u0131lard\u0131k. \u0130\u015fte b\u00f6yle bir g\u00fcnde, \u00e7ok sonra Lian oldu\u011funu bilece\u011fim(iz) gen\u00e7 bir bayan, bu geminin g\u00fcvertesinde g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc. Gelenlerin hemen hepsini tan\u0131yordum, belki tek istisna oydu. \u2018I\u015f\u0131k\u2019 diye tan\u0131tt\u0131 kendini. O da bizim camiadanm\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n

Sohum\u2019da kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m 7-8 odal\u0131 koca ev, anavatan\u0131 g\u00f6rmeye ve\/veya yerle\u015fmeye gelen tan\u0131d\u0131klar\u0131n, dostlar\u0131n u\u011frad\u0131\u011f\u0131-konaklad\u0131\u011f\u0131 misafirhane gibiydi. Biz zaten 6-7 ki\u015fiydik (M\u00fcmtaz, Meral, Ayten, Yusuf, Hakan, Erkan ve ben), gelenlerden 4\u2019\u00fc daha (Handan, Hilal, Nurten, Emrah) bende kalacakt\u0131, di\u011ferleri otelde. Ertesi g\u00fcn bende kalanlar \u2018bizim yol arkada\u015flar\u0131 \u00a0ne durumda\u2019 merak\u0131yla otele gitti, bir saat sonra yanlar\u0131nda I\u015f\u0131k ve ona yol-oda arkada\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 yapan Erg\u00fcl olmak \u00fczere geri d\u00f6nd\u00fcler. Velhas\u0131l\u0131 I\u015f\u0131k, \u2018otelde gece birileri ask\u0131nt\u0131 oldu\u2019 gibi do\u011frulu\u011fu epey su kald\u0131r\u0131r bir gerek\u00e7eyle di\u011ferlerini ikna edip benim eve kapa\u011f\u0131 atm\u0131\u015f oldu. Yetmezmi\u015f gibi elime, \u0130stanbul\u2019daki ilgili cemiyet b\u00fcy\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn bana hitaben yazm\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fu bir \u2018referans\u2019 mektubu tutu\u015fturdu. (Mealen) \u015f\u00f6yle diyordu: \u201cBu karde\u015fimiz yak\u0131ndan tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z bir ailenin k\u0131z\u0131d\u0131r, bilgisayar m\u00fchendisidir, Abhazya\u2019da kal\u0131p faydal\u0131 olmak istiyor, yard\u0131mc\u0131 olursan sevinirim\u201d. G\u00f6rmezden gelemeyece\u011fim bir hat\u0131rd\u0131…<\/p>\n

\u0130\u015fte b\u00f6yle ba\u015flad\u0131 I\u015f\u0131k\u2019l\u0131 g\u00fcnler. Nerden tan\u0131rd\u0131m ki I\u015f\u0131k\u2019\u0131; nerden bilirdim ki onun \u2018Lian\u2019 ad\u0131yla \u015f\u00f6hrete ermi\u015f bir komplikasyon oldu\u011funu. Bir gemiyle geldi g\u00f6rd\u00fcm, tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131lar tan\u0131d\u0131m, ba\u015f\u0131ma kald\u0131 bildim, neyse bedeli \u00f6dedim…<\/p>\n

\u0130\u015f i\u015ften ge\u00e7tikten sonra \u00f6\u011frenece\u011fim(iz) \u00fczere, Lian\u2019\u0131n Abhazya\u2019ya geli\u015fi hedef odakl\u0131-planl\u0131-programl\u0131 bir eylemdi. Geli\u015finden hemen hemen bir y\u0131l kadar \u00f6nce, yani Abhazya\u2019da sava\u015f\u0131n devam etti\u011fi 93\u2019\u00fcn bahar\u0131nda, aylak g\u00fcnlerinin birinde tesad\u00fcfen camiam\u0131z\u0131n bir toplant\u0131s\u0131na kat\u0131lm\u0131\u015f. \u0130lk orda g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f beni. O s\u0131ralar Abhazya-T\u00fcrkiye aras\u0131nda mekik dokuyan ben, bu toplant\u0131n\u0131n konu\u015fmac\u0131s\u0131yd\u0131m. Me\u011fer ben k\u00fcrs\u00fcden sava\u015f\u0131n gidi\u015fat\u0131n\u0131 anlat\u0131p, \u00e7ekilen s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131 ve ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131 s\u0131ralay\u0131p daha \u00e7ok destek olmalar\u0131 i\u00e7in kat\u0131l\u0131mc\u0131lar\u0131n vicdanlar\u0131na hitap etmeye \u00e7abalarken, fark\u0131nda olmadan arka s\u0131ralarda oturan Lian\u2019\u0131n y\u00fcre\u011fine ve dikkatine hitab etmi\u015fim. \u2018\u0130lk g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fte hedefini se\u00e7mi\u015f\u2019 ve hemen orac\u0131kta bendenizle ilgili oyun kurgusunu olu\u015fturmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f bile. Belki \u0130stanbul\u2019daki maceralar\u0131ndan s\u0131k\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131, belki kredisinin t\u00fckendi\u011fini ve denizin bitti\u011fini anlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Her ne idiyse, i\u015fte o s\u0131ralarda g\u00f6z\u00fc bana de\u011fmi\u015fti i\u015fte. \u0130lk bilgileri oradakilerden alm\u0131\u015f, sonra alan\u0131n\u0131 geni\u015fletip derinlemesine ara\u015ft\u0131rma yapm\u0131\u015f, planlam\u0131\u015f, haz\u0131rlanm\u0131\u015f ve \u015fartlar m\u00fcsait olunca hedefe ula\u015fmak \u00fczere Abhazya\u2019n\u0131n yolunu tutmu\u015f.<\/p>\n

Bazen beni karalamaya hevesli bir-iki zavall\u0131n\u0131n \u2018\u00e7apk\u0131n\u2019, \u2018zampara\u2019 vs. abart\u0131l\u0131 dedikodular\u0131na malzeme olmu\u015fumdur. Bu yak\u0131\u015ft\u0131rmalar\u0131 haketmesem de, ne b\u00fcy\u00fck bir bahtiyarl\u0131kt\u0131r ki, y\u00fcre\u011fini \u0131s\u0131tt\u0131\u011f\u0131m ve y\u00fcre\u011fimi \u0131s\u0131tan kad\u0131nlar olmu\u015ftur hayat\u0131mda. Ayr\u0131ca, bu konularda dedikodu yapan olmak yerine dedikodusu yap\u0131lan olmay\u0131 hep tercih etmi\u015fimdir. A\u015fk iyidir; mutluluktur, sevin\u00e7tir, heyecand\u0131r, s\u0131cakl\u0131kt\u0131r, hazd\u0131r. Pek \u00e7o\u011funuz gibi ben de bunu kendi prati\u011fimden bilirdim. Ama a\u015fk\u0131n k\u00f6r tutku halinin nas\u0131l ate\u015ften bir g\u00f6mlek olabildi\u011fini, hele hele tak\u0131nt\u0131l\u0131-ihtirasl\u0131-umutsuz halinin nas\u0131l \u00f6l\u00fcmc\u00fcl bir oyuna d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015febildi\u011fini, yine pek\u00e7o\u011funuz gibi ancak romanlarda okuyup filmlerde izlemi\u015fimdir. Taa ki, Lian\u2019\u0131 tan\u0131y\u0131ncaya kadar…<\/p>\n

Demek bu i\u015fler bazen b\u00f6yle oluyormu\u015f. \u0130lgi meraka, merak tak\u0131nt\u0131ya, tak\u0131nt\u0131 kurguya, kurgu tutkuya, tutku ihtirasa d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyormu\u015f. Sonunda karar verilip yola d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcl\u00fcyormu\u015f. Bunu ard\u0131\u015f\u0131k tepkime diye mi tan\u0131mlamal\u0131?..<\/p>\n

Lian\u2019\u0131 bana odaklayan ger\u00e7ek neden neydi ya da hangi s\u00fcre\u00e7te hangi saikler bask\u0131n gelmi\u015fti bilemiyorum. Ama eylemi planlanm\u0131\u015f, kurgulanm\u0131\u015f, uzun uzun d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcl\u00fcp yolu-yordam\u0131 belirlenmi\u015f ve titizlikle icra edilmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir kalk\u0131\u015fmayd\u0131. Tam da \u2018taamm\u00fcden\u2019 denilen cinsten…<\/p>\n

\u0130\u015fte b\u00f6yledir Lian\u2019\u0131n Abhazya seferi. Bir ka\u00e7\u0131\u015f gerekmi\u015ftir, bir hedef belirlenmi\u015ftir, bir strateji kurgulanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r, hepsi tutkuyla soslanm\u0131\u015f ve yola d\u00fc\u015f\u00fclm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr. Ondan sonras\u0131, hem benim i\u00e7in hem onun i\u00e7in kabustur. Kontrol edilemez bir tak\u0131nt\u0131l\u0131 tutku, \u00fcst d\u00fczeyde sinir harbi ve sonunda h\u00fcsran\u0131n depre\u015ftirdi\u011fi \u2018border line\u2019 patlamas\u0131. Bir bak\u0131ma \u2018\u00d6ld\u00fcren Cazibe\u2019nin farkl\u0131 bir versiyonu…<\/p>\n

Evet, ben ele ge\u00e7irilecek hedefdim ama ne haberim vard\u0131, ne iste\u011fim, ne m\u00fcsaitli\u011fim. Daha, geride b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131m kimi a\u015fk yaralar\u0131n\u0131 da\u011flayamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m bile. \u00d6te yandan ac\u0131 dolu, y\u0131k\u0131c\u0131 bir sava\u015ftan ancak \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Pek\u00e7ok dostumu, arkada\u015f\u0131m\u0131, tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 kaybetmi\u015ftim. Sava\u015f sonras\u0131 ise, sava\u015f\u0131 aratacak kadar berbat bir ortam olu\u015fmu\u015ftu. Kontrols\u00fcz silahl\u0131 gruplar \u00e7oktu, alkol ve uyu\u015fturucu kullan\u0131m\u0131 h\u0131r\u00e7\u0131nl\u0131klar\u0131 iyice biliyordu; bask\u0131nlar, kavgalar, \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmalar, \u00f6ld\u00fcrmeler, yaralamalar giderek art\u0131yordu. \u00c7ok zor ve k\u00f6t\u00fc ko\u015fullarda iki y\u0131l ge\u00e7irmi\u015ftim; g\u0131das\u0131zl\u0131k, so\u011fuk, kayg\u0131 ve \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fc y\u00fcz\u00fcnden t\u00fcberk\u00fcloz yeniden n\u00fcksetmi\u015fti, \u00fclser z\u0131vanadan \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Velhas\u0131l\u0131 ruhen ve fiziken dibe vurdu\u011fum g\u00fcnlerdi. Ne bir a\u015fk heyecan\u0131n\u0131 ta\u015f\u0131yacak g\u00fcc\u00fcm vard\u0131, ne bir sevgiyi ye\u015fertecek y\u00fcre\u011fim. Evet, kad\u0131nlar\u0131n g\u00fcler y\u00fcz\u00fcne ve tevecc\u00fch\u00fcne genellikle kap\u0131l\u0131p gitmi\u015fimdir. Dedim ya, a\u015fk iyidir. Ama bu kez de\u011fil. Bu kez m\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fil. Kasab\u0131n et, koyunun can derdinde oldu\u011fu durumlar vard\u0131r ya, bizimki de biraz \u00f6yle bir\u015feydi… Velhas\u0131l\u0131 adres yanl\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Ama \u2018kara sevda\u2019 adresin do\u011frusuna yanl\u0131\u015f\u0131na bakmaz, kap\u0131ya dayan\u0131rm\u0131\u015f. Dayand\u0131…<\/p>\n

G\u00fczelli\u011fine ve ba\u015ftan \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131na pek g\u00fcvenen biriydi. Ve ona g\u00f6re ben her halukarda \u2018\u00e7antada keklik\u2019tim, \u2018haz\u0131r asker\u2019dim. Bu y\u00fczden i\u015fe etraf\u0131mdakileri ikna etmek ve inand\u0131rmakla ba\u015flad\u0131. \u00d6nce \u015faka yollu hafif imalar, sonra giderek koyula\u015fan s\u00f6zler. \u201cBirbirimize ilgi duyuyorduk\u201d, \u201cbir elektriklenme olu\u015fmu\u015ftu\u201d, \u201csahilde romantik bir y\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fc\u015f yapm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k\u201d, \u201cyeniden a\u015fk\u0131 bulmu\u015ftuk\u201d, \u201cbirbirimizindik\u201d vs… Herkese farkl\u0131 hikayeler anlat\u0131yordu. Kimse ciddiye almad\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in g\u00fclerek ge\u00e7i\u015ftiriliyordu. Ne de olsa bulundu\u011fumuz ko\u015fullar \u2018hafif \u00e7atlak olmaya\u2019 ya da \u2018biraz u\u00e7ta gezinmeye\u2019 cevaz verecek ola\u011fan\u00fcst\u00fcl\u00fckteydi.<\/p>\n

Ben par\u00e7alar\u0131 birle\u015ftiremeden ev bo\u015falmaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Bir k\u0131sm\u0131 T\u00fcrkiye\u2019ye d\u00f6nd\u00fc, M\u00fcmtaz devrald\u0131\u011f\u0131 evin tamirat\u0131n\u0131 bitirip ta\u015f\u0131nd\u0131, di\u011fer arkada\u015flar da \u2018makul\u2019 gerek\u00e7eler e\u015fli\u011finde yak\u0131nlardaki di\u011fer dost-arkada\u015f evlerine ge\u00e7ti. Bir-ikisi beni uyard\u0131, \u2018bu k\u0131za dikkat et\u2019 diye. Kula\u011f\u0131ma k\u00fcpe ettim.<\/p>\n

Kula\u011f\u0131ma k\u00fcpe ettim de ne edece\u011fimi bilemedim. Ka\u00e7-kovala oyunlar\u0131 ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Gergin, komik, trajikomik, trajik g\u00fcnler. Mazeretler, mevzu de\u011fi\u015ftirmeler, vatan-millet maneviyatlar\u0131, konu\u015fmalar, tart\u0131\u015fmalar… Ben saf saf, Abhazya\u2019da kalacaksa geriye d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f komitesi arac\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131yla bir ev edinmeli, kendi hayat\u0131n\u0131 kurmal\u0131yd\u0131 \u00fczerine y\u00f6nlendirmede bulunmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorum. Israrlar i\u015fe yarar gibi oluyor, \u2018evet\u2019 diyor, kendisine bir ev tahsis ediliyor. G\u00fcnler ge\u00e7iyor, haftalar. Evi orda kendisi burda. Niyetini sorguluyorum arada. \u201cG\u00fcvenliksiz\u201d diyor, \u201ctadilat laz\u0131m\u201d diyor. \u00dcsteliyorum. \u201cTamam, eksiklerini tamamlay\u0131p ta\u015f\u0131naca\u011f\u0131m\u201d diyor.<\/p>\n

Oyalamalar, oyalanmalar. Ka\u00e7malar-kovalamalar. Ve bir ak\u015fam eve d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm manzayla ay\u0131l\u0131yorum. B\u00fct\u00fcn duvarlara yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f umutsuz a\u015fk notlar\u0131; \u201csevmiyorsan da katlanmay\u0131 bil\u201d, \u201ckendini be\u011fenmi\u015f z\u00fcppe\u201d, \u201cduygusuz aptal\u201d, \u201csen de erkek misin\u201d, \u201cneyimi be\u011fenmiyorsun\u201d, \u201csen kendini ne san\u0131yorsun\u201d, \u201cyalvaracak de\u011filim\u201d vs. onlarca \u2018veciz\u2019. Sert, yumu\u015fak, sitemkar, tehditkar, ac\u0131kl\u0131, sa\u00e7ma sapan notlar… Art\u0131k anlar\u0131m ki, beni a\u015fan bir vaka vard\u0131r kar\u015f\u0131mda. Sonra oturup epey zor, epey gergin, epey h\u00fcz\u00fcnl\u00fc, epey uzun bir konu\u015fma. Kendisi kendini anlat\u0131r e\u011fri-do\u011fru, ben kendimi anlat\u0131r\u0131m do\u011fru-e\u011fri. Zeki, \u00e7ok zeki… Bazen akl\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131nda, bilgili, anlay\u0131\u015fl\u0131, makul s\u00f6zler; bazen h\u0131r\u00e7\u0131n, sald\u0131rgan, tutars\u0131z sa\u00e7malamalar. K\u0131r\u0131k-d\u00f6k\u00fck pek\u00e7ok mevzu. Yenilgisini kabul eder gibi, \u2018d\u00f6neyim ben \u0130stanbul\u2019a\u2019 der sonunda. Bence de… D\u00f6ner. Bir hafta, iki hafta, bir ay, iki ay… Oh be, kurtulduk galiba… Nerdeyse unutmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fken, yan\u0131nda 6-7 ya\u015flar\u0131ndaki k\u0131z\u0131yla \u00e7\u0131kagelir. Ey hak!..<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Sevimli, g\u00fczel, uslu bir \u00e7ocuk. Belki T\u00fcrkiye\u2019de ger\u00e7ekten \u00e7aresizdi, \u00e7ocu\u011fu da al\u0131p geri geldi. Belki benle ilgili \u00e7aresizli\u011fine deva olur umuduyla \u00e7ocu\u011fu da s\u00fcr\u00fckledi pe\u015finden. Neyse, yat\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f, uslanm\u0131\u015f, beni hedeften \u00e7\u0131karm\u0131\u015f gibiydi. \u0130\u015f-g\u00fc\u00e7 planlar\u0131n\u0131 anlatt\u0131. Bilgisayarlar getirip kurs a\u00e7aca\u011f\u0131n\u0131, kendisine verilen evi elden ge\u00e7irip en k\u0131sa s\u00fcrede ta\u015f\u0131naca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 vs. anlatt\u0131. Bir\u00e7ok b\u00fcy\u00fck \u015firketin bilgi-i\u015flem park\u0131n\u0131 kurup i\u015fletti\u011fini, bir\u00e7oklar\u0131na dan\u0131\u015fmanl\u0131k hizmeti verdi\u011fini, hatta S\u00fcleyman Demirel\u2019e bile dan\u0131\u015fmanl\u0131k yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 vs. s\u00f6yledi. \u0130yi, iyi diyorum. Dikkati benden uzakla\u015fs\u0131n da..<\/p>\n

Yine de i\u015fi s\u00fcr\u00fcncemede b\u0131rakmamak laz\u0131md\u0131. Sava\u015ftan \u00f6nce kirada oturdu\u011fum k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck apartman dairesi bo\u015ftu, ev sahipleriyle konu\u015fup yeniden kiralad\u0131m. I\u015f\u0131k ve k\u0131z\u0131, kendi evlerine ge\u00e7inceye kadar orada kalabilirdi. B\u00f6ylece, bazen orda bazen burda iki evli hayat ba\u015flad\u0131. Bir s\u00fcre b\u00f6yle idare ettik. Ben i\u015fimle (Ba\u015fbakanl\u0131k ve D\u0131\u015fi\u015fleri Bakanl\u0131\u011f\u0131\u2019nda \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordum) ve rutin hayat\u0131mla, o Abhazya\u2019y\u0131 ke\u015fifle ve projeleriyle… Arada bir gerilmeler olsa da dost-arkada\u015f sohbetleriyle durumu dengeler gibi olmu\u015ftuk. Bir ak\u015fam cafe-bar\u2019da k\u0131zl\u0131 erkekli bir arkada\u015f grubuyla g\u0131rg\u0131r-\u015famata yaparken g\u00f6r\u00fcp, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k g\u00f6sterisi yapt\u0131, sonra yeniden sakinle\u015fti.\u00a0 Derken bir f\u0131s\u0131lt\u0131 dola\u015fmaya ba\u015flad\u0131, \u2018yak\u0131nda evleniyormu\u015fsunuz\u2019 yollu. Allah Allah, yine ba\u015fa m\u0131 sard\u0131k?. \u0130nkar eder, \u201cben kimseye b\u00f6yle bir\u015fey s\u00f6ylemedim\u201d der. Ya sab\u0131r…<\/p>\n

B\u00f6yle ini\u015fler \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015flar, g\u00fcnler haftalar ak\u0131p gitti. Sonra k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z\u0131na k\u00f6t\u00fc davranmaya ba\u015flad\u0131, sanki h\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131 ondan \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131yormu\u015fcas\u0131na. Azarlamalar, h\u0131rpalamalar, d\u00f6vmeler. K\u0131zarmalar, morarmalar, yara-bereler. Yeniden konu\u015fmalar, sohbetler, dostluk terapileri. Psikiatrist miyim be, ne bilirim ne anlar\u0131m ruhsal ve sinirsel dalgalanmalardan.. Neyse ki annesi \u00e7\u0131kar gelir Sohum\u2019a. A\u011f\u0131r ba\u015fl\u0131, sayg\u0131n, g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f ge\u00e7irmi\u015f bir kad\u0131nd\u0131r. Epey \u015fey anlat\u0131r, kendisi, ailesi ve k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n \u015fanss\u0131zl\u0131klar\u0131yla ilgili, do\u011fru-e\u011fri, eksik-yanl\u0131\u015f… Anneye \u00f6zel, anne-k\u0131za birlikte kendi bak\u0131m\u0131mdan rahats\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131, s\u00fcrd\u00fcr\u00fclemez bir durumla kar\u015f\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131ya oldu\u011fumuzu anlat\u0131r\u0131m. Abhazya\u2019da ya\u015faman\u0131n zor oldu\u011funu, I\u015f\u0131k i\u00e7in daha da zor oldu\u011funu, geri d\u00f6nmesinin do\u011fru olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlat\u0131r\u0131m. Dinler gibi, anlar gibi ba\u015f sallamalar. Ne ki, tercih kalmaktan yanad\u0131r. Birka\u00e7 kez tahsis edilen eve giderler birlikte, biraz \u00e7eki-d\u00fczen verir gibi yaparlar, \u00f6l\u00e7erler-bi\u00e7erler, ufak tefek eksikleri i\u00e7in neyi nas\u0131l yapar\u0131z-yapt\u0131r\u0131r\u0131z\u0131 konu\u015furlar uzun uzun. Sanki i\u015fler yoluna girecek gibidir. Sonra anne k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z\u0131 da al\u0131p d\u00f6ner, benden biraz daha zaman ister, en k\u0131sa zamanda e\u015fyalarla geri gelece\u011fini ve k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 yeni evine yerle\u015ftirece\u011fini vadeder. \u0130nan\u0131r\u0131m…<\/p>\n

Yine ini\u015fli-\u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015fl\u0131 g\u00fcnler, ka\u00e7-kovala vaziyetleri ba\u015flar. Bazen bir g\u00fcn, iki g\u00fcn g\u00f6r\u00fcnmezdi; ya yeni yeni tan\u0131maya ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015fehri gezerdi biba\u015f\u0131na ya yeni tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 insanlarla tak\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131 ya da k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck dairede zaman ge\u00e7irirdi, sonra yine ortaya \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131. Dikkatinin benden uzakla\u015fmas\u0131na sevinirdim, yine de ba\u015f\u0131na k\u00f6t\u00fc bir\u015fey gelmesinden endi\u015fe ederdim. Bir defas\u0131nda 3-4 g\u00fcn kayboldu. Arkada\u015flardan g\u00f6ren-duyan da yoktu. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck daireye gittik, zar-zor kap\u0131y\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131rd\u0131k, kesif bir sigara duman\u0131, izmaritle dolu koca bir kap, i\u00e7ilmi\u015f-sa\u00e7\u0131lm\u0131\u015f kahve fincanlar\u0131. \u00dc\u00e7 g\u00fcnd\u00fcr \u00e7\u0131kmam\u0131\u015f, bedbaht yaln\u0131z kad\u0131n\u0131 oynam\u0131\u015f. Kahve ve sigarayla azd\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 migreni sayesinde arabeski iyice ac\u0131l\u0131 hale getirmi\u015f. Neyse, arkada\u015flar\u0131n yak\u0131n ihtimam\u0131 sayesinde \u00e7abuk toparland\u0131.<\/p>\n

Bu olaydan bir hafta kadar sonra cafede, iki-\u00fc\u00e7 y\u0131ld\u0131r Abhazya\u2019da ya\u015fayan bir akrabas\u0131yla \u00a0tart\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f. Kendisine abilik etmek isteyen akrabas\u0131, \u2018daha fazla kendini rezil etmeden T\u00fcrkiye\u2019ye d\u00f6n\u2019 nasihat\u0131nda bulunmu\u015f. Vay sen misin bunu diyen. Milletin ortas\u0131nda adamca\u011f\u0131za hakaretler, tehditler ya\u011fd\u0131rm\u0131\u015f. B\u00f6ylece vaka giderek toplumsalla\u015fmaya ba\u015fl\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n

\u0130\u015fte b\u00f6yle dalgalana durula, kabara-k\u00f6p\u00fcre devam etti g\u00fcnler. Haftalar ge\u00e7ti, anne geri d\u00f6nmedi. 1994 bitti, y\u0131lba\u015f\u0131 geldi \u00e7att\u0131. \u00d6yle ki, as\u0131l b\u00fcy\u00fck patlamay\u0131 da beraberinde getirdi…<\/p>\n

Bizim kafadar grup y\u0131lba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 M\u00fcmtaz\u2019\u0131n evinde kutlamaya karar vermi\u015ftik. I\u015f\u0131k, \u2018ben ba\u015fka arkada\u015flarla program yapt\u0131m\u2019 dedi. Tamamd\u0131r, her\u015fey yolunda gibidir. Biz de 8-10 ki\u015fi M\u00fcmtaz\u2019\u0131n evinde e\u011flenir sabahlar\u0131z, sedirlerde, koltuklarda uyuklar\u0131z. Sabah kap\u0131 \u00e7alar, g\u00fcm g\u00fcm g\u00fcm. Lena\u2019d\u0131r, tela\u015fla anlat\u0131r, I\u015f\u0131k benim evde \u2018sald\u0131r\u0131ya u\u011fram\u0131\u015f\u2019t\u0131r. \u2018\u00dcst\u00fc-ba\u015f\u0131 par\u00e7alanm\u0131\u015f, sigara yan\u0131klar\u0131 i\u00e7inde \u00e7aresiz\u2019dir. Kendisini aray\u0131p yard\u0131m istemi\u015ftir. M\u00fcmtaz, Meral, Lena ko\u015far\u0131z. Pe\u015fimizden di\u011ferleri. Evet, I\u015f\u0131k sigara yan\u0131klar\u0131 i\u00e7inde, elbiseleri y\u0131rt\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, \u2018\u00e7aresiz\u2019 haldedir. \u00dcstelik bir de \u00fct\u00fc yan\u0131klar\u0131 olu\u015fmu\u015ftur. Ve fonda, epey y\u00fcksek vol\u00fcmde Fleetwood Mac\u2019\u0131n \u2018Then Play On\u2019 alb\u00fcm\u00fcnden \u2018Closing my eyes\u2019 \u015fark\u0131s\u0131 \u00e7almaktad\u0131r. Ne oldu? \u201cGece 4-5 ki\u015fi evi bas\u0131p bana sald\u0131rd\u0131. D\u00f6vd\u00fcler, i\u015fkence ettiler.\u201d Neden? Ne istiyorlarm\u0131\u015f?.. \u00a0\u201cBilmiyorum, sadece sald\u0131rd\u0131lar.\u201d Oysa Lena ilk g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde, gelenlerin beni sordu\u011funu, nerde oldu\u011fumu s\u00f6yletmek i\u00e7in i\u015fkence ettiklerini s\u00f6ylemi\u015fti. Yine Lena ilk g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde \u00fct\u00fc yan\u0131klar\u0131 yoktu. \u00dct\u00fcy\u00fc bulduk, hala s\u0131cakt\u0131. \u2018Closing my eyes\u2019 yeniden \u00e7almaya ba\u015flar. CD-\u00e7alar sadece o \u015fark\u0131y\u0131 tekrar tekrar \u00e7almak \u00fczere komutlanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. I\u015f\u0131k\u2019\u0131n \u201cbu \u015fark\u0131 e\u015fli\u011finde \u00f6lmek isterim\u201d dedi\u011fi ve s\u0131k\u00e7a dinledi\u011fi \u015fark\u0131d\u0131r; \u2018intihar \u015fark\u0131s\u0131\u2019…<\/p>\n

Kendisiyle ilgilen, doktor \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r derken m\u00fctalalara da ba\u015flad\u0131k. Ortak tahminimiz oydu ki, bu kendi kendine bir sald\u0131r\u0131d\u0131r. A\u011f\u0131r sinir krizinin yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir \u00e7\u0131lg\u0131nl\u0131k. Doktorlar gelir. \u0130lk kontrolden sonra onlar da \u2018kendi kendine sald\u0131r\u0131\u2019 kan\u0131s\u0131na var\u0131rlar, yat\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 ila\u00e7lar verirler. Doktorlar sorar, \u2018uyu\u015fturucu kullan\u0131yor mu, daha \u00f6nce benzeri krizler ge\u00e7irmi\u015f mi, nas\u0131l bir tedavi uygulanm\u0131\u015f?\u2019… Nerden bilebilirdik ki. Doktorlara g\u00f6re hastaneye kald\u0131rmaya gerek yoktur, istirahat etmesi yeterlidir. \u2018Ama m\u00fcmk\u00fcnse ba\u015fka bir evde, farkl\u0131 bir ortamda dinlensin\u2019 derler. Lena\u2019n\u0131n evine ta\u015f\u0131r\u0131z. Ba\u015fka doktorlar gelir, psikologlar, psikiyatristler. Yeniden muayeneler, m\u00fctalalar. Sonu\u00e7; a\u011f\u0131r bir sinirsel travma, evveliyat\u0131 olan bir patlama, biran \u00f6nce T\u00fcrkiye\u2019ye g\u00f6nderilmeli.<\/p>\n

Hemen \u0130stanbul\u2019u aray\u0131p annesine durumu bildiriyor, hemen gelmesini istiyoruz. Sessiz tela\u015fs\u0131z bir dinleme ve kestirme bir mesaj: \u201cOnu sevdi\u011fimizi, k\u0131zmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131, ne zaman isterse \u0130stanbul\u2019a gelebilece\u011fini s\u00f6yleyin. Vay be!… Sonra ablas\u0131yla konu\u015fuyorum, ayn\u0131 s\u00f6zleri kopya ediyor. Demek \u015fa\u015f\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131 de\u011fil, s\u00fcrpriz de\u011fil, tela\u015flanmak gerekmez. Anl\u0131yoruz ki bu bilinen, \u00f6nce de ya\u015fanan, al\u0131\u015f\u0131k olunan bir durum. Tamam s\u00f6yleriz, biraz toparlan\u0131rsa g\u00f6ndeririz. Pe\u015finden Handan\u2019\u0131 ar\u0131yoruz, Erg\u00fcl\u2019le birlikte anne ve ablas\u0131yla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmesini, m\u00fcmk\u00fcnse gelmeleri i\u00e7in ikna etmelerini istiyoruz. Tabi I\u015f\u0131k\u2019la ilgili hert\u00fcrl\u00fc bilgiye acil ihtiyac\u0131m\u0131z oldu\u011funu s\u00f6ylemeyi de unutmuyoruz.<\/p>\n

Sabahtan beri yard\u0131m\u0131m\u0131za ko\u015fan psikolog Arda ile y\u0131llard\u0131r tan\u0131\u015f\u0131r\u0131z. I\u015f\u0131k\u2019\u0131 da az-bu\u00e7uk tan\u0131m\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Olup biteni uzun uzun sordu bana. Biraz meslek bilgisini, biraz da kad\u0131nl\u0131k hislerini harmanlay\u0131p (mealen) \u015fu yorumu yapt\u0131: \u201cBu \u00e7ok ciddi bir travma. Be\u011fenilmeme var, reddedilme var, h\u0131rs var, ihtiras var. Sana fazlas\u0131yla tutulmu\u015f, tak\u0131nt\u0131 haline getirmi\u015f. Bu tehlikeli, \u00e7ok tehlikeli. B\u00fcy\u00fck bir \u00e7aresizlik, gerginlik i\u00e7inde. Bu t\u00fcr vakalarda \u015fiddet son \u00e7aredir. Hem senin ilgini \u00e7ekmek istemi\u015f, hem kendi kendini cezaland\u0131rmak. Ama bunun tersi de olabilirdi, sana sald\u0131rabilirdi. Sevgiyle nefretin ince-keskin \u00e7izgisinde. Bir cam gibi, i\u00e7e de k\u0131r\u0131labilir d\u0131\u015fa da. A\u011f\u0131r bir depresyon, \u00e7ok a\u011f\u0131r. Ve hala riskli, kendine zarar vermenin i\u015fe yaramad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 an sana y\u00f6nelecektir. Uzak dur, kendini sak\u0131n\u201d…<\/p>\n

Ak\u015fam biraz \u00e7orba, biraz tek yanl\u0131 sohbet ve ila\u00e7, sakin bir odaya yat\u0131r\u0131yoruz. Biz \u00fc\u00e7-d\u00f6rt refakatci de sedirlerde, koltuklarda, yerde hal\u0131 \u00fczerinde uyukluyoruz. Gecenin bir vakti bir dokunma hissine g\u00f6zlerimi a\u00e7\u0131yorum. Karanl\u0131kta \u00fcst\u00fcme e\u011filmi\u015f iki cam g\u00f6z. \u0130rkiliyorum. \u201cKorkma\u201d diyor, I\u015f\u0131k\u2019\u0131n bo\u011fuk sesi; \u201cbattaniyen kaym\u0131\u015f, \u00fcst\u00fcne \u00e7ektim\u201d… Sesi yumu\u015fuyor, \u201c\u00fc\u015f\u00fcme\u201d diyor. \u015eefkatli bir anne gibi eliyle yana\u011f\u0131m\u0131 ok\u015fuyor. Kedi sessizli\u011finde odas\u0131na d\u00f6n\u00fcyor. Hi\u00e7 hareket etmeden karanl\u0131\u011fa bakarak sabahl\u0131yorum. \u00dcrk\u00fcyorum, i\u00e7im ac\u0131yor, \u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcyorum, Arda\u2019n\u0131n s\u00f6ylediklerini hat\u0131rlay\u0131p korkuyorum…<\/p>\n

Bitti san\u0131p sevinmeyin, devam edecek. Haftaya…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sezai Babakuş 17.03.2011 ‘Koca kulak çetesi’nin dinlemeleri medyaya sızıp ‘İklim skandalı’ patlamasaydı, Fatih Altaylı ‘İklim’i Haber Türk’e çıkarıp uzun uzun konuşturmasaydı ve İsmet Berkan Hürriyet’te ‘İklim’in ‘Lian’a benzerliğini yazıp tuz biber ekmeseydi ben de küllenmiş anıların üstüne yatmaya devam edecektim. Ama ne fayda, hepsi üst üste geldi, ‘cin şişeden çıktı’, eski anılar acı bir tebessüm […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"0","ocean_second_sidebar":"0","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"0","ocean_custom_header_template":"0","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"0","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"off","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[100],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2351","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar-sezai-babakus","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2351","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2351"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2351\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2352,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2351\/revisions\/2352"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2351"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2351"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2351"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}