{"id":2666,"date":"2019-02-23T15:34:38","date_gmt":"2019-02-23T15:34:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/circassiancenter.com\/tr\/?p=2666"},"modified":"2019-02-23T15:34:38","modified_gmt":"2019-02-23T15:34:38","slug":"kuleyi-aramak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/kuleyi-aramak\/","title":{"rendered":"KULEY\u0130 ARAMAK"},"content":{"rendered":"

Do\u00e7. Dr. ENGANOY Erol Y\u0131ld\u0131r
\n<\/span><\/b>25.01.2006<\/span><\/p>\n

Kuleyi bir kez g\u00f6ren, bir \u00f6m\u00fcr hep onu arar.<\/p>\n

Kuleyi g\u00f6renin art\u0131k hayat\u0131nda bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc vazge\u00e7emeyece\u011fi, g\u00fcndelik hayat\u0131n rutinlik kazanan davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131na ayk\u0131r\u0131, \u00e7ok \u00f6zel ek olarak bir u\u011fra\u015f\u0131s\u0131 daha olacakt\u0131r. Bu u\u011fra\u015f, ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 yak\u0131n ve uzak \u00e7evresinden ba\u015flayarak, gitti\u011fi her diyarda veya gitmemi\u015f olsa da d\u00fcnyan\u0131n herhangi bir k\u00f6\u015fesinde varl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan haberdar olmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131, okudu\u011fu ve duydu\u011fu her anlat\u0131da o fantastik yap\u0131lardan bir iz arad\u0131\u011f\u0131 daha \u00e7ok i\u00e7g\u00fcd\u00fcsel bir aray\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Bu aray\u0131\u015flar onun hayat\u0131nda asl\u0131nda b\u00fcy\u00fck bir alg\u0131 zenginli\u011fine de yol a\u00e7acakt\u0131r. Bazen en yak\u0131n\u0131nda bulaca\u011f\u0131 bir kule kal\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 ilk kez g\u00f6rmenin \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015fayacak, ya da y\u0131llarca \u00fczerinde \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmas\u0131na kuleler hakk\u0131nda uzmanla\u015fmas\u0131na ra\u011fmen, bir g\u00fcn d\u00fcnyan\u0131n bir k\u00f6\u015fesinde hayran\u0131 oldu\u011fu bu yap\u0131lar\u0131n baz\u0131 \u00f6rneklerine herhangi bir kaynakta rastlaman\u0131n etkisiyle duydu\u011fu o sevin\u00e7le kar\u0131\u015f\u0131k tan\u0131mlanmas\u0131 g\u00fc\u00e7 cehalet hissinin tatl\u0131-ac\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 da duyacakt\u0131r. T\u00fcm bu duyumsamalar\u0131 ise onun belki de, bu \u00f6m\u00fcr boyu s\u00fcren aray\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n tek ve as\u0131l \u00f6d\u00fcl\u00fc olacakt\u0131r.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u201cY\u0131llarca, bu kimi y\u0131k\u0131k ve virane halde, kimisi ise sanki yeni yap\u0131lm\u0131\u015f\u00e7as\u0131na korunmu\u015f yap\u0131lar\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc ve zihnine kaz\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 o ilk g\u00fcnk\u00fc heyecan\u0131n\u0131 duydu. O, y\u0131k\u0131k kulede dolunay \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131nda isli \u00e7\u0131ralar\u0131n \u00e7\u0131t\u0131rt\u0131larla yand\u0131\u011f\u0131 ate\u015fin ba\u015f\u0131nda ge\u00e7irdi\u011fi geceyi ise asla unutamad\u0131. Kulede, bir anne \u015fefkatiyle kendini kucaklam\u0131\u015f sevgilinin kollar\u0131nda huzur i\u00e7inde uyurmu\u015f\u00e7as\u0131na h\u0131zla ge\u00e7en o gece, hep haf\u0131zas\u0131nda ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131n en g\u00fczel g\u00fcnlerinden birisi olarak \u00e7ak\u0131l\u0131 kald\u0131. Kendinin adeta bir par\u00e7as\u0131na d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fen bu sade ve harap yap\u0131 daima \u00f6zlemle and\u0131\u011f\u0131, \u00a0geride b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir dosta d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Bu d\u00f6rt y\u00fcksek yekpare duvardan ibaret yap\u0131n\u0131n kendini \u00e7eken \u00f6zellikleri \u00fczerine y\u0131llarca enine boyuna d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc. Bir tepe \u00fcst\u00fcne ya da azg\u0131n bahar sular\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7a\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 dere yataklar\u0131na do\u011fru uzanan bir vadiye kurulmu\u015f ve terk edilmi\u015flikleriyle bir \u00f6ks\u00fcz gibi boynu b\u00fck\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f bu yap\u0131lar\u0131 t\u00fcm canl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131yla hat\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda zihninde beliren i\u00e7li bir yaln\u0131zl\u0131k hissi hep h\u00fcz\u00fcnlendirdi kendisini. Kulelerin t\u00fcm terk edilmi\u015fliklerine ra\u011fmen y\u0131k\u0131k virane de olsalar heybetle g\u00f6\u011fe doru y\u00fckselmelerini ise, onlarca yerinden yaralanm\u0131\u015f, y\u0131k\u0131lmamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan bir sava\u015f\u00e7\u0131ya, bazen de en umulmad\u0131k anlarda ihanete u\u011fram\u0131\u015f ama y\u0131lmam\u0131\u015f, ya\u015fama d\u00f6rt elle sar\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir insana benzeterek hep hayranl\u0131k duydu. Kule, b\u00f6yledir i\u015fte bir kez g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc m\u00fc insana ger\u00e7ek y\u00fcz\u00fcyle, riyas\u0131z, yalans\u0131z ve hilesiz olarak g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, g\u00f6renle kendisi aras\u0131nda ancak i\u00e7tenlikle kazan\u0131labilecek bir dostluk kurar.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cErtesi g\u00fcn, hen\u00fcz vadiye inen sisler da\u011f\u0131lmadan, arduvaz ta\u015flar \u00fczerine d\u00fc\u015fen k\u0131ra\u011f\u0131lar erimeden, geriye do\u011fru gitmek isteyen, m\u0131zm\u0131zlanan, isyankar ad\u0131mlarla d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f yoluna koyuldu<\/i>. Kule, o\u2019nun i\u00e7in bir g\u00fcn kar\u015f\u0131la\u015f\u0131p hasret giderebilece\u011fine inanarak rahtl\u0131kla geride b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131, uzaklarda da olsa en az\u0131ndan ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 bildi\u011fi i\u00e7in teselli bularak hasretliklerine katland\u0131\u011f\u0131 arkada\u015flar\u0131ndan, dostlar\u0131ndan birisine d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc art\u0131k<\/i>.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

”Araya giren y\u0131llar kuleye olan hasretini hi\u00e7 dindirmedi. O\u2019ndan uzakta ge\u00e7en, sava\u015flar ac\u0131lar ve y\u0131k\u0131mlarla dolu g\u00fcnlerde akl\u0131nda hep vard\u0131. Ne, y\u0131llar ge\u00e7tik\u00e7e a\u011faran d\u00f6k\u00fclen sa\u00e7lar\u0131yla kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7alan olgunluk g\u00fcnlerinde, art\u0131k d\u00f6nmemecesine geride kalan o taze gen\u00e7lik g\u00fcnlerine duydu\u011fu \u00f6zlem, ne de y\u0131llarca yan yana y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fckleri, ac\u0131 atl\u0131 birlikteliklerinin sona erdi\u011fi, yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n karanl\u0131k derinliklerinde bir sevgiliye duydu\u011fu \u00f6zlem, bu k\u0131r\u0131k d\u00f6k\u00fck yap\u0131ya -ve onda bir \u00f6m\u00fcr ge\u00e7irmeye- olan iste\u011fiyle kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131r\u0131lamayacak kadar s\u0131radan birer hasretlikti. Kaderin garip bir cilvesi olarak beklenmedik bir \u015fekilde hayat\u0131na girip, d\u00fcnya g\u00f6z\u00fcyle g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc ve bir \u015fim\u015fek h\u0131z\u0131yla kaybetti\u011fi, \u015fimdi, kavu\u015fmas\u0131 ise y\u0131llar alacak, \u00e7ok uzaklarda kalan o yap\u0131lara olan bu \u00f6zlem, onu, i\u00e7inde \u00f6zel ve bir ba\u015f\u0131na ya\u015fayaca\u011f\u0131 kendi kulesini yapmaya sevk etti.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/i><\/p>\n

Kuleyi araman\u0131n verdi\u011fi yorgunlu\u011fun tek ilac\u0131 kuleye kavu\u015fmakt\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Kuleyi aramak ise ger\u00e7ekte neyi arad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n fark\u0131na varmakt\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Kule aray\u0131c\u0131lar\u0131 birbirlerini g\u00f6rd\u00fcklerinde bazen \u00e7ok rahatl\u0131kla tan\u0131yabilirler. Onlar\u0131 birbirlerine \u00e7eken, kim bilir belki de kuleye duyulan \u00f6zlemin olu\u015fturdu\u011fu ve sadece kuleyi arayanlara has bir morfolojik olu\u015fumun etkisidir. Bazen de kimi yap\u0131sal de\u011fi\u015fimleri kendi istekleri do\u011frultusunda -\u00f6zel bir halde- olu\u015fturman\u0131n verdi\u011fi benzerlik, onlar aras\u0131nda bu ba\u011flant\u0131n\u0131n da ba\u015fl\u0131ca nedeni olabilir. Kule aray\u0131c\u0131lar\u0131 bir arada bulduklar\u0131 daha ilk anda, kolayl\u0131kla, ancak y\u0131llar\u0131n olu\u015fturabilece\u011fi bir s\u00fcrede olgunla\u015facak bir yak\u0131nl\u0131kla birbirlerine kayna\u015f\u0131rlar. Fakat, her kule aray\u0131c\u0131s\u0131 ayn\u0131 zamanda kendi yolunu \u00e7izmi\u015f bir \u201cneyi arad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n fark\u0131ndal\u0131\u011f\u0131na\u201d sahiptir. Bu nedenle bir s\u00fcre sonra \u00f6zde olu\u015fmu\u015f farkl\u0131l\u0131klar ortaya \u00e7\u0131kmaya ba\u015flar. Bu durumda kule aray\u0131c\u0131lar\u0131 \u2013ger\u00e7ekte ayn\u0131 y\u00f6ne do\u011fru gitmelerine ra\u011fmen- birbirlerine \u015f\u00fcpheyle bakarlar. E\u011fer, \u201cne arad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n fark\u0131ndal\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131\u201d bir inanca d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015flerse bir \u015fim\u015fek h\u0131z\u0131yla olu\u015fan birliktelik ayn\u0131 h\u0131zla yok olur. Kule aray\u0131c\u0131lar\u0131 ayn\u0131 paradoksu hayatlar\u0131nda bir\u00e7ok kez ya\u015fayarak aramalar\u0131na devam ederler. Kule aray\u0131c\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131n belki de kuleye varmalar\u0131na engel olan ve bu engelin olu\u015fumunda en b\u00fcy\u00fck etkeni olu\u015fturan \u201cparadoksal yap\u0131da\u201d olu\u015fturulmas\u0131 gereken bir de\u011fi\u015fikli\u011fin, ancak aran\u0131lacak ger\u00e7e\u011fin ve \u00e7izilecek ivmenin, \u2013yap\u0131sal de\u011fi\u015fime k\u00f6kten kar\u015f\u0131 olan inanca d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr\u00fclmeden- d\u00fcnyevi bir \u00e7izgide ve bilimin ak\u0131lc\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131nda olmas\u0131 gerekti\u011fini veya bunda gizli oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yleyenler ise hep az\u0131nl\u0131kta kalarak sessiz \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar atmaya devam ederler.<\/p>\n

Kuleyi aramak, imani bir olu\u015fum ve amel de\u011fil, d\u00fcnyevi bir arzudur.<\/p>\n

\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc kule, bu d\u00fcnyaya ait bir yap\u0131 olarak in\u015fa edilmi\u015ftir. Kuleyi arayan\u0131n o\u2019na farkl\u0131 bir d\u00fcnyan\u0131n anlam\u0131n\u0131 ve ger\u00e7ekli\u011fini y\u00fcklemesi ise kuleyi ba\u015ftan kaybetmesinin farkl\u0131 bir yolu olacakt\u0131r.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Doç. Dr. ENGANOY Erol Yıldır 25.01.2006 Kuleyi bir kez gören, bir ömür hep onu arar. Kuleyi görenin artık hayatında bir türlü vazgeçemeyeceği, gündelik hayatın rutinlik kazanan davranışlarına aykırı, çok özel ek olarak bir uğraşısı daha olacaktır. Bu uğraş, yaşadığı yakın ve uzak çevresinden başlayarak, gittiği her diyarda veya gitmemiş olsa da dünyanın herhangi bir köşesinde 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