{"id":3275,"date":"2019-02-25T15:40:25","date_gmt":"2019-02-25T15:40:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/circassiancenter.com\/tr\/?p=3275"},"modified":"2019-02-25T15:40:25","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T15:40:25","slug":"iki-thamade-iki-son-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/iki-thamade-iki-son-2\/","title":{"rendered":"\u0130K\u0130 THAMADE \u0130K\u0130 SON"},"content":{"rendered":"

Kuban Paul Seauhmann
\n<\/b><\/span> 24.10.2003<\/span><\/p>\n

Bu hafta ya\u015fanm\u0131\u015f bir olay\u0131 birlikte de\u011ferlendirece\u011fiz. Bir Adige arkada\u015f\u0131m\u0131z anlatt\u0131. Sosyoloji \u00fczerine do\u00e7entlik tezi haz\u0131rlayan bu karde\u015fimiz, konu se\u00e7erken \u00e7ok d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f. Ba\u015f\u0131ndan ge\u00e7en bir olay\u0131 tezine yans\u0131tmaya karar vermi\u015f. Tezi bitirmi\u015f teslim edecekken vazge\u00e7mi\u015f. Do\u00e7entli\u011finin gecikmesi pahas\u0131na bu tezi vermemi\u015f.<\/p>\n

Haz\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 tezin konusu vefat eden iki dedesinin vefat \u015fekillerimiymi\u015f. \u0130ki dedesi de ayn\u0131 k\u00f6yde do\u011fup b\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fc\u015fler. Ancak bir dedesi daha sonra okuyup memurluk yapm\u0131\u015f ve T\u00fcrkiye\u2019nin de\u011fi\u015fik illerinde \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f. En sonunda k\u00f6y\u00fcne yak\u0131n bir kasabada ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131 s\u00fcrd\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015f. Di\u011fer dedesi ise \u00f6l\u00fcnceye kadar k\u00f6yde ya\u015fam\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n

\u0130ki thamadenin biri \u00e7ift\u00e7i biri memur emeklisi olarak hayata g\u00f6zlerini yummu\u015flar.<\/p>\n

K\u00f6yl\u00fc thamade \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fc g\u00fcn sabah \u00e7ift s\u00fcr\u00fcp \u00f6\u011flen yeme\u011fine gelmi\u015f. Yemek yedikten sonra; biraz dinlenmeliyim, deyip odas\u0131na \u00e7ekilmi\u015f. Evin k\u0131zlar\u0131 i\u00e7eri girdiklerinde thamadenin oturdu\u011fu yerde uyuklad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sanm\u0131\u015flar. Rahats\u0131z etmemek i\u00e7in uzun s\u00fcre odaya girmemi\u015fler. 3-4 saat sonra endi\u015felenmi\u015fler. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc thamadenin b\u00f6yle bir al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 yokmu\u015f. Bir daha girmi\u015fler odaya. Uyand\u0131r\u0131p yatmas\u0131n\u0131 istemi\u015fler. Ancak ne yaz\u0131k ki, vefat etmi\u015f.<\/p>\n

Memur thamade ise \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden 8 ay kadar \u00f6nce akl\u0131n\u0131 yitirmi\u015f. 4-5 y\u0131l \u00e7ok ac\u0131 \u00e7ekmi\u015f ve ac\u0131lar i\u00e7inde vefat etmi\u015f.<\/p>\n

\u015eimdi, bu iki olayda; herkesin olabilir diyebilece\u011fi iki \u00f6l\u00fcm \u015fekli ya\u015fanm\u0131\u015f. Ancak bu iki thamadenin ya\u015famlar\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6\u011frendi\u011finizde, xabzenin insan ya\u015fam\u0131nda ne b\u00fcy\u00fck etkisi oldu\u011funu insan daha iyi anl\u0131yor.<\/p>\n

K\u00f6ydeki thamade, t\u00fcm\u00fcyle \u00c7erkes olan bir ortamda ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131 s\u00fcrd\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc i\u00e7in \u00f6l\u00fcnceye kadar, o toplumun en \u00f6nemli ki\u015fisi olma \u00f6zelli\u011fi ile ya\u015fama g\u00f6zlerini yumuyor. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc, yolda y\u00fcr\u00fcrken insanlar onu g\u00f6rd\u00fcklerinde aya\u011fa kalk\u0131yorlar. Yan\u0131nda y\u00fcksek sesle konu\u015fmuyorlar. Bir dile\u011fi oldu\u011funda ko\u015fulsuz ve h\u0131zla yerine geliyor. Thamade biliyor ki, \u201cben bu toplumda hala bir bireyim<\/strong>\u201d.<\/p>\n

Memur thamade; \u00c7erkes han\u0131m\u0131 gen\u00e7 ya\u015fta vefat edince ikinci evlili\u011fini bir T\u00fcrk han\u0131mla yap\u0131yor. \u0130lk han\u0131m\u0131ndan olan iki \u00e7ocu\u011fu ikinci han\u0131m\u0131ndan 3 \u00e7ocu\u011fu d\u00fcnyaya geliyor. \u0130ki evlilik aras\u0131nda uzunca bir zaman ge\u00e7ti\u011fi i\u00e7in ilk iki \u00e7ocu\u011fu evlenip \u00e7oluk \u00e7ocu\u011fa kar\u0131\u015f\u0131yorlar. T\u00fcrk han\u0131m\u0131yla 3 \u00e7ocu\u011fu ile ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131 s\u00fcrd\u00fcrmeye devam ediyor. Y\u0131llar ilerledik\u00e7e bu \u00e7ocuklar \u00fcniversitelere giriyorlar. Annenin de arzusunu k\u0131rmamak i\u00e7in k\u00f6ye yak\u0131n olan kasabadan \u0130stanbul\u2019a g\u00f6\u00e7\u00fcyorlar. Herkesin sayg\u0131yla aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131\u011f\u0131 thamade soka\u011fa \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor, kimsenin y\u00fcz\u00fcne bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 yok. Kahvehaneye giriyor, gen\u00e7 ya\u015fl\u0131 herkes bir arada. Evde kalmay\u0131 tercih ediyor. Bu kez de evde sorunlar ya\u015fanmaya ba\u015fl\u0131yor. Daha \u00f6nce ak\u015famlar\u0131 eve gelen babaya g\u00f6sterilen aya\u011fa kalkma davran\u0131\u015f\u0131 yava\u015f yava\u015f ortadan kalk\u0131yor. \u00d6nceleri bunu pek \u00f6nemsemiyor. Ancak y\u0131llar ge\u00e7tik\u00e7e \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n babalar\u0131na olan davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131ndaki \u00f6nemsememe art\u0131yor. Bu kez thamade evdeki konumunu korumak i\u00e7in k\u0131zg\u0131n tav\u0131rlar koyuyor. Bir s\u00fcre sonra bunun yarar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6remedi\u011fi i\u00e7in, \u00e7ocuk\u00e7a davranmaya ba\u015fl\u0131yor. \u00d6l\u00fcm\u00fcne 4-5 y\u0131l kala art\u0131k ne dedi\u011fini bilmeyen, bazen sald\u0131rgan bazen \u00e7ocuk\u00e7a davran\u0131\u015flar sergileyen bir psikolojiye giriyor ve son 8 ay\u0131 t\u00fcm\u00fcyle bilincini yitirmi\u015f durumda vefat ediyor.<\/p>\n

K\u00f6ydeki thamade; \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fc g\u00fcne kadar biliyor ki, \u201cben bu toplumda bir bireyim ve sayg\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131m var<\/strong>\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u015eehirdeki thamade; \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fc g\u00fcne kadar kendine soruyor, \u201cben bu toplumda bir bireydim ve sayg\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131m vard\u0131. Ne oldu da bu duruma d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm?<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

Bu iki thamadenin ya\u015fam\u0131 sosyolojik a\u00e7\u0131dan iyi bir ders. \u0130nsanlar; e\u011fer kendilerini toplumun ya da ortak oldu\u011fu grubun d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda hissediyorlarsa davran\u0131\u015f bozukluklar\u0131 sergilemeye ba\u015fl\u0131yor.\u00a0 \u00d6nce i\u00e7inde tuttu\u011fu duygular\u0131n\u0131 zamanla d\u0131\u015fa vurma e\u011filimleri g\u00f6steriyor. (Bunun ya\u015fla da ilgisi yok. Gen\u00e7 bir insanda toplum d\u0131\u015f\u0131na itildi\u011fi duygusunu ya\u015f\u0131yorsa ayn\u0131 sorunlar\u0131 farkl\u0131 bi\u00e7imlerde ya\u015f\u0131yor.)
\nO nedenle hem kendine hem \u00e7evresindekilere zarar verme a\u015famas\u0131na geliyor. Bir damlan\u0131n durgun suya d\u00fc\u015fmesi gibi, b\u00fcy\u00fcyerek i\u015fin i\u00e7inden \u00e7\u0131k\u0131lmaz bata\u011fa giriyor.<\/p>\n

Bu t\u00fcr davran\u0131\u015f bozukluklar\u0131ndan kurtulman\u0131n en sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 yolu; xabzeyi ya\u015fam bi\u00e7imimiz haline getirmektir. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc, insan ili\u015fkileri; t\u00fcm\u00fcyle kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 ileti\u015fime ve seremoniye dayal\u0131d\u0131r. Bir \u00c7erkes; \u00e7ocuk ya\u015ftan ba\u015flayarak toplum i\u00e7inde nas\u0131l davran\u0131lmas\u0131 gerekti\u011fini \u00f6\u011frenir. \u0130li\u015fki kurdu\u011fu insanlar\u0131n kendinden k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ya da b\u00fcy\u00fck olmas\u0131, davran\u0131\u015f modelini de\u011fi\u015ftirmez. Bulundu\u011fu toplumda da ayn\u0131 kurallar oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in ya\u015fam\u0131 sorunsuz devam eder.<\/p>\n

Hep diyoruz. \u00c7erkes olmak kolay de\u011fil. Ben \u00c7erkes’im demekle \u00c7erkes de olunmuyor. Nice insan g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fs\u00fcn\u00fczd\u00fcr; sular seller gibi \u00c7erkesce konu\u015fur. Ancak xabzenin yan\u0131na hi\u00e7 u\u011framam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. L\u00fcmpendir, b\u0131\u00e7k\u0131nd\u0131r, d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde silaha sar\u0131l\u0131p, thamadelerin yan\u0131nda havaya kur\u015fun ya\u011fd\u0131r\u0131r. \u00d6rnekleri kendiniz \u00e7o\u011falt\u0131n\u0131z.<\/p>\n

Bu durumda karar vermek gerekiyor. \u0130ki thamade, iki ayr\u0131 \u00f6l\u00fcm bi\u00e7imi. \u015eimdi evinizde ve \u00e7evrenizde thamadelere nas\u0131l davrand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 yeniden g\u00f6zden ge\u00e7iriniz. Ger\u00e7ekten xabzeye uygun mu davran\u0131yorsunuz?<\/p>\n

Onlarla konu\u015furken ses tonunuzu bir test edin. Kurdu\u011funuz ileti\u015fiminizde y\u00fcksek sesle ve birazda \u00e7ocukla konu\u015fuyormu\u015f tavr\u0131 var m\u0131? Hafif bir alay?<\/p>\n

Davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 iyi test ediniz.<\/p>\n

E\u011fer ya\u015fl\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n baz\u0131 \u015feyleri anlayamayacaklar\u0131n\u0131 san\u0131yorsan\u0131z \u00e7ok k\u00f6t\u00fc yan\u0131l\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z.<\/p>\n

SonS\u00f6z<\/span>
\n\u00c7erkes, thamadeye sayg\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 elini \u00f6perek de\u011fil varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hissettirerek g\u00f6sterendir. (Kuban)<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Kuban Paul Seauhmann 24.10.2003 Bu hafta yaşanmış bir olayı birlikte değerlendireceğiz. Bir Adige arkadaşımız anlattı. Sosyoloji üzerine doçentlik tezi hazırlayan bu kardeşimiz, konu seçerken çok düşünmüş. Başından geçen bir olayı tezine yansıtmaya karar vermiş. Tezi bitirmiş teslim edecekken vazgeçmiş. Doçentliğinin gecikmesi pahasına bu tezi vermemiş. Hazırladığı tezin konusu vefat eden iki dedesinin vefat şekillerimiymiş. İki […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"0","ocean_second_sidebar":"0","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"0","ocean_custom_header_template":"0","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"0","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"off","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[96],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3275","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar-kuban-seauhmann","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3275","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3275"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3275\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3276,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3275\/revisions\/3276"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3275"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3275"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3275"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}