{"id":3615,"date":"2019-02-25T18:41:55","date_gmt":"2019-02-25T18:41:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/circassiancenter.com\/tr\/?p=3615"},"modified":"2019-02-25T18:41:55","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T18:41:55","slug":"gel-de-anlat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/gel-de-anlat\/","title":{"rendered":"GEL DE ANLAT"},"content":{"rendered":"

Semra Ademey G<\/span>\u00fcrel<\/strong>
\n<\/span>07.01.2006<\/span><\/p>\n

Evleri tren yoluna yak\u0131nm\u0131\u015f ve tren her ge\u00e7ti\u011finde yatak odas\u0131ndaki dolab\u0131n kap\u0131s\u0131 g\u0131c\u0131rt\u0131lar \u00e7\u0131kararak a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131yormu\u015f. Bir, iki derken art\u0131k kad\u0131n s\u0131k\u0131lm\u0131\u015f ve kocas\u0131na tamir etmesini s\u00f6ylemi\u015f. Kocas\u0131 da, ”aman han\u0131m ben ne anlar\u0131m \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r marangozu da baks\u0131n” demi\u015f. Neyse kad\u0131n birka\u00e7 g\u00fcn sonra marangozu \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rm\u0131\u015f. Marangoz dolab\u0131n kap\u0131s\u0131na bakm\u0131\u015f, bakm\u0131\u015f sorunu bulamam\u0131\u015f. D\u0131\u015far\u0131dan bak\u0131nca bir \u015fey anla\u015f\u0131lm\u0131yor bu defada tam tren ge\u00e7erken dolab\u0131n i\u00e7ine girip bakay\u0131m demi\u015f. Tam dolaba girmi\u015f ki evin beyi gelmi\u015f. Dolab\u0131 a\u00e7m\u0131\u015f birde ne g\u00f6rs\u00fcn dolapta bir adam. Sen ne ar\u0131yorsun burada diye \u00f6fkeyle sormu\u015f. Marangoz \u015fa\u015fk\u0131n ve \u00e7aresiz, ”gel de anlat \u015fimdi tren bekledi\u011fini” demi\u015f\u2026<\/p>\n

Evet, bizlerde tren beklemiyoruz ama beklediklerimizi de anlatam\u0131yoruz. Toplum olarak aram\u0131zda inan\u0131lmaz derecede bir ileti\u015fimsizlik var. Birimizin s\u00f6yledi\u011fini di\u011ferimiz anlam\u0131yor, anlamak istemiyor ya da an\u0131nda tepki veriyor. Neler oluyor bize? Kar\u015f\u0131t d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelere neden tahamm\u00fcl edemiyoruz?<\/p>\n

\u00c7erkes toplumunda kan davas\u0131 yoktur. En az\u0131ndan ben \u00f6yle biliyorum. Birbirine k\u00fcs olan iki aile vard\u0131ysa memleketin ileri gelen thamadeleri toplan\u0131r, davet verilir ve aileler bar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131. \u0130ki aile ciddi anlamda bar\u0131\u015fmad\u0131ysa dahi aralar\u0131ndaki k\u0131rg\u0131nl\u0131\u011fa ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ekmezlerdi. Toplumsal olaylarda yine birlikte yer alabilirlerdi. \u0130\u015fte bunlar\u0131 hat\u0131rlay\u0131nca insan, neler oluyor bizlere demeden edemiyor.<\/p>\n

Ben d\u00fcnyada tekim, benim bir e\u015fim daha yok. Benimle ortak y\u00f6nleri olan, ayn\u0131 duygu ve d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceleri payla\u015fan bir\u00e7ok insan vard\u0131r. Ancak hi\u00e7biri tam olarak ben de\u011fil. \u015eimdi benimle t\u0131pat\u0131p ayn\u0131 olan biri ile ben ne payla\u015fabilirdim ya da onunla olmaktan ne kadar haz alabilirdim?<\/p>\n

Hani k\u0131zla-erkek yeni arkada\u015f olur ve ortak nokta bulmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r ya i\u015fte o durumlar\u0131 az \u00e7ok hepimiz biliriz. Yani erkek ya da k\u0131z, ”ben k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131dan ho\u015flan\u0131r\u0131m” der, di\u011feri hemen ”bende” der, ”ben patates k\u0131zartmas\u0131na bay\u0131l\u0131r\u0131m” der, di\u011feri ”benimde en sevdi\u011fim yemektir” der, biri tiyatro sever di\u011feri ”hi\u00e7 ka\u00e7\u0131rmam” der. Oysa \u00e7o\u011fu beklide yaland\u0131r, etkilemek i\u00e7indir. Uyumlu oldu\u011funu ispat etmek i\u00e7in tatl\u0131 bir aldatmacad\u0131r. Bunun hi\u00e7te \u00f6yle olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 evlendikten sonra ac\u0131 bir \u015fekilde ortaya \u00e7\u0131kar.<\/p>\n

Oysa ben k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 seviyorsam, kar\u015f\u0131mda ki mavi seven olsun ve bana mavinin g\u00fczelli\u011fini anlats\u0131n. Kar\u015f\u0131mdaki tiyatrodan zevk alan olsun ki, ben neden tiyatrodan zevk almad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 anlayay\u0131m. Yani tezatlar olsun. Olsun ki, benim ufkum daha \u00e7ok a\u00e7\u0131ls\u0131n, ba\u015fka lezzetleri de taday\u0131m. Ben, beni aray\u0131p durursam ne anlam\u0131 kal\u0131r? Benim d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcn tersini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcns\u00fcn ki, bende o d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerden yeni \u015feyler \u00e7\u0131karay\u0131m, geli\u015feyim.<\/p>\n

Biri, bir d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce ortaya atar ve gelen basit bir ele\u015ftiride ya da kar\u015f\u0131t bir d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce de hemen k\u00fcs\u00fcl\u00fcr veya ileti\u015fimi sonland\u0131racak \u015fekilde tepkiler verilir. K\u00fcsl\u00fc\u011fe neden olan konudan her iki tarafta bir fayda g\u00f6remez. Bu \u015fekilde k\u0131s\u0131r bir alanda d\u00f6ne dola\u015fa duran insan belki fark\u0131nda bile olmadan zamanla kendisini bir k\u00f6\u015feye \u00e7eker.<\/p>\n

Benim bilmemek ya da yanl\u0131\u015f bilmek gibi bir hakk\u0131m olsun. Do\u011fruyu biliyorsan anlat bana ama bende bilemeyece\u011fimi kabul ederek seni dinlemesini bileyim. Hata yapmak insan i\u00e7indir. Bo\u015funa dememi\u015fler ”hatas\u0131z kul olmaz” diye, beni hatalar\u0131m ile de kabul et. Ancak bana hatam i\u00e7in k\u00fcsme ya da beni k\u0131rma, incitme. K\u0131saca ileti\u015fimi kesme\u2026<\/p>\n

\u00c7ok seslilik olmal\u0131 ama g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fc yaratmadan. Toplum menfaatine olaca\u011f\u0131na inan\u0131lan konularda kar\u015f\u0131dan gelen sesleri de duymak laz\u0131m. E\u011fer bir birlik sa\u011flanacak ise, k\u0131zla-erke\u011fin \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcn sonra ortaya \u00e7\u0131kacak etkileme taktikleri gibi d\u00fcr\u00fcst olmayan \u015firinlik i\u00e7eren, i\u00e7i bo\u015f destekler ve d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceler ile olmas\u0131n. Ba\u015ftan birbirine k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 ve mavi anlat\u0131ls\u0131n dekora hangisi uyar ise o se\u00e7ilsin ama k\u00fcsmeden, k\u0131zmadan anlat\u0131ls\u0131n.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Semra Ademey Gürel 07.01.2006 Evleri tren yoluna yakınmış ve tren her geçtiğinde yatak odasındaki dolabın kapısı gıcırtılar çıkararak açılıyormuş. Bir, iki derken artık kadın sıkılmış ve kocasına tamir etmesini söylemiş. Kocası da, ”aman hanım ben ne anlarım çağır marangozu da baksın” demiş. Neyse kadın birkaç gün sonra marangozu çağırmış. Marangoz dolabın kapısına bakmış, bakmış sorunu […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"0","ocean_second_sidebar":"0","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"0","ocean_custom_header_template":"0","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"0","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"off","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[90],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3615","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar-adamey-semra-gurel","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3615","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3615"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3615\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3616,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3615\/revisions\/3616"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3615"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3615"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3615"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}