![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/NARTHAN-ve-BEN-b.png\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
KITIJ Cemil Bi\u00e7er<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00d6\u011fretmenli\u011fimin ilk y\u0131llar\u0131yd\u0131. \u00d6\u011fretmenlik bizde aile miras\u0131 gibidir. B\u00fcy\u00fck dedem \u015epa\u015fi\u011fo Kafkasya\u2019da Ecips K\u00f6y\u00fc\u2019n\u00fcn hem imam\u0131 hem din \u00f6\u011fretmeniymi\u015f.<\/p>\n Babam Akp\u0131nar K\u00f6y Enstit\u00fcs\u00fc mezunu cumhuriyet\u00e7i, yurtsever bir Anadolu feneri. Ben de bilin\u00e7li olarak bu mesle\u011fi se\u00e7mi\u015ftim.<\/p>\n Ancak \u00f6\u011fretmenlik ne genetik yolla, ne de \u00fcniversitede \u00f6\u011fretilen pedagojik formasyon ile kazan\u0131l\u0131rm\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n Babam, \u201cBu meslek usta-\u00e7\u0131rak ili\u015fkisi i\u00e7erisinde \u00e7ocuklarla beraber \u00f6\u011frenilir\u201d derdi\u2026<\/p>\n Derdi de, ne demek istedi\u011fini anlamazd\u0131m, a\u015fa\u011f\u0131da anlataca\u011f\u0131m olay\u0131 ya\u015fayana de\u011fin…<\/p>\n G\u00f6rev yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m okul il\u00e7enin tek orta okulu. Olduk\u00e7a yo\u011fun bir \u00f6\u011frenci n\u00fcfusuna sahip. Her sosyal tabakadan \u00f6\u011frencimiz var.<\/p>\n Okulun en gen\u00e7 \u00f6\u011fretmeniyim. Di\u011fer meslekta\u015flar\u0131m emeklilikleri gelmi\u015f. Hatta bir\u00e7o\u011funun emeklilikleri \u00e7oktan dolmu\u015f. S\u0131rf evlad-\u00fc ayal i\u00e7in bu i\u015fi yapar \u2019mod\u2019unda meslekta\u015flar\u0131md\u0131.<\/p>\n Bu t\u00fckenmi\u015flikleri s\u0131n\u0131flara ve okul geneline de yans\u0131yor, \u00e7ocuklar da bunu fark ettiklerinden okul Hababam S\u0131n\u0131f\u0131 gibi olmu\u015ftu. Ben gen\u00e7li\u011fin verdi\u011fi idealistlik ve enerjimle bu durumu i\u00e7ime sindiremiyordum. Bunu da \u015fiddeti bir e\u011fitim arac\u0131 olarak kullanarak g\u00f6stermeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordum. O hale gelmi\u015fti ki, okulun d\u0131\u015f kap\u0131s\u0131ndan girdi\u011fim anda y\u00fczlerce ko\u015fu\u015fan oyna\u015fan \u00e7ocuklar karga g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f civcivler gibi s\u0131n\u0131flar\u0131na ka\u00e7\u0131yorlard\u0131. Hatta ya\u015fl\u0131 meslekta\u015flar\u0131m s\u0131n\u0131flarda disiplini sa\u011flayamad\u0131klar\u0131 \u00f6\u011frencilerini; “Cemil hocaya s\u00f6ylerim seni”\u2019 tehdidi ile sakinle\u015ftirirlerdi.<\/p>\n N\u00f6bet\u00e7i oldu\u011fum g\u00fcnlerde koridorlarda \u00e7\u0131t \u00e7\u0131kmaz, \u00e7ocuklar o g\u00fcn milli matem havas\u0131nda imi\u015fcesine sessiz, uysal ve bedbaht dola\u015f\u0131rlard\u0131 bah\u00e7enin kuytu k\u00f6\u015felerinde.<\/p>\n \u0130d\u00e2ri bir g\u00f6revim olmamas\u0131na ra\u011fmen bu despotizmim okul idaresinin de i\u015fine gelir, hatta benim bu \u015fiddet yanl\u0131s\u0131 tavr\u0131m\u0131 alk\u0131\u015flar tutum sergilerlerdi. Kendimi \u00e7ok iyi bir \u00f6\u011fretmen olarak g\u00f6r\u00fcyordum.<\/p>\n De\u011fil mi ki \u201cen iyi \u00f6\u011fretmen en korkulan \u00f6\u011fretmendir\u201d!?<\/p>\n Art\u0131k iyiden iyiye nam salm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. \u00d6\u011frenciler \u00fcst\u00fcndeki bu despot tavr\u0131m okul d\u0131\u015f\u0131na da ta\u015fm\u0131\u015f, il\u00e7e sokaklar\u0131nda beni g\u00f6ren \u00f6\u011frencilerim \u00e7il yavrusu gibi ara sokaklara ka\u00e7\u0131\u015f\u0131r olmu\u015ftu. Dahas\u0131 bir \u00e7ok ana baba bu \u015fiddeti mi destekliyor, okula bizzat gelip \u201dHoca; bizim o\u011flan \u00e7ok yaramaz, s\u00f6z dinlemiyor hele \u015funun da bir kula\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ekiversen\u201d diye mesai d\u0131\u015f\u0131 isteklerde bulunuyorlard\u0131.<\/p>\n Okullar\u0131n a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 ilk hafta ders programlar\u0131 haz\u0131r olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in derslerin \u00e7o\u011fu bo\u015f ge\u00e7er. \u00d6\u011frenciler koridorlarda, bah\u00e7elerde, yeni \u00f6\u011fretmenler hakk\u0131nda muhabbet ederler, eski \u00f6\u011frenciler yeni gelenlere \u2018Falanca derse kim geliyor? Fi\u015fmanca derse kim geliyor?” diye merakla sorarlar. \u2018\u2019Sosyal Bilgiler ve Vatanda\u015fl\u0131k Bilgisi dersine Cemil Bi\u00e7er<\/strong> giriyormu\u015f dendi\u011finde \u2018\u2019Yand\u0131n\u0131z siz o\u011flum, sizin askerli\u011finiz bitmez!\u2019\u2019 muhabbetlerini duyduk\u00e7a egom zirve yapar, kostak kostak kostaklan\u0131rd\u0131m.<\/p>\n Art\u0131k \u00f6zel bir \u015fey yapmam gerekmiyordu. Sadece koridorun ba\u015f\u0131nda ellerim arkamda durup g\u00f6zlerim ufukta sabit bir noktaya bakmam yetiyordu. Beni g\u00f6ren g\u00f6rmeyeni d\u00fcrt\u00fcyor ve k\u0131sa bir s\u00fcre sonra o c\u0131v\u0131l c\u0131v\u0131l \u015fen kahkahalar yerini derin bir sessizli\u011fe ve korkunun r\u00fczgarlar\u0131na terk ediyor, \u015fiddete ba\u015fvurmam bile gerekmiyordu.<\/p>\n \u00c7o\u011fu kez ad\u0131m\u0131n ve g\u00f6lgemin g\u00f6r\u00fcnmesi yetiyordu disiplinin sa\u011flanmas\u0131 i\u00e7in.<\/p>\n Ta ki, o me\u015fum 6-A s\u0131n\u0131f\u0131na ilk derse girdi\u011fim ana kadar. O ders, gerek meslek ya\u015fam\u0131mda gerekse \u00f6zel ya\u015fam\u0131mda bir ihtilal yapm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r.<\/p>\n 6-A s\u0131n\u0131f\u0131na girdim o g\u00fcn. \u0130lk dersleriydi yavrucuklar\u0131n. \u0130l\u00e7e k\u00f6ylerinin de\u011fi\u015fik okullar\u0131ndan gelmi\u015f kalabal\u0131k bir s\u0131n\u0131ft\u0131. \u00d6nceden Cemil Hoca<\/strong> nam\u0131n\u0131 duyduklar\u0131ndan g\u0131klar\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kmadan bekliyorlard\u0131 kap\u0131dan girecek canavar\u0131. (\u015eimdi bunlar\u0131 yazarken bile -aradan 30 y\u0131l ge\u00e7mesine ra\u011fmen- utan\u0131yorum ve kendimden nefret ediyorum!)<\/p>\n Her zaman yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m pozlardan biridir; ilk derslerine girdi\u011fim s\u0131n\u0131flar\u0131n kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 aniden \u015fiddetle a\u00e7ar\u0131m ve kap\u0131n\u0131n koluna yaslanarak sabit bir noktaya g\u00f6zlerimi diker dakikalarca \u00f6ylece dururum.<\/p>\n Bu tav\u0131r, zaten \u00f6nceden nam\u0131m\u0131 duymu\u015f zavall\u0131 yavrucaklar \u00fczerinde katmerli bir korku f\u0131rt\u0131nas\u0131 yarat\u0131yordu. \u00c7ocuklar ben girer girmez aya\u011fa f\u0131rlay\u0131p heykel gibi k\u0131p\u0131rdamadan duruyorlard\u0131\u2026 D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcne biliyor musunuz zulm\u00fc, i\u015fkenceyi?! O c\u0131v\u0131l c\u0131v\u0131l \u00e7ocuklar hi\u00e7 k\u0131p\u0131rdamadan dakikalarca ayakta put gibi duruyorlar. \u201c\u00c7in i\u015fkencesi\u201d bu olsa gerek, hele ki biri k\u0131m\u0131ldasa!<\/p>\n G\u00f6zlerimle s\u0131n\u0131f\u0131 tararken sol duvar kenar\u0131nda ikinci s\u0131rada bir \u00e7ocu\u011fun aya\u011fa kalkmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. G\u00f6zlerimi \u00fcst\u00fcne dikti\u011fimde zavall\u0131 yavrucu\u011fun g\u00f6zlerindeki korkuyu tarif etmek m\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fil. \u0130\u00e7imden hemen o \u00e7ocu\u011fun yan\u0131na gidip yakas\u0131ndan tek elimle tutup havaya kald\u0131rmak ve bir m\u00fcddet havada sallay\u0131p oturdu\u011fu s\u0131raya h\u0131zl\u0131ca \u00e7arpmak ge\u00e7ti. A\u011f\u0131r ad\u0131mlarla ona do\u011fru y\u00f6neldim ancak bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131m s\u0131n\u0131f\u0131n geneli \u00fczerindeydi. Yan\u0131na vard\u0131\u011f\u0131mda o zavall\u0131 \u00e7ocuk k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f, b\u00fcz\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f korkunun etkisiyle bir avu\u00e7 kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Yakas\u0131ndan tuttu\u011fum gibi havaya kald\u0131rd\u0131m. Minnac\u0131kt\u0131 yavrum, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck, mini minnac\u0131kt\u0131. (Ne al\u00e7ak, ne i\u011fren\u00e7 bir \u00f6\u011fretmenmi\u015fim ben! O zavall\u0131 \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 ya\u015famlar\u0131 boyu ba\u015f kald\u0131ramayacak, sorulmadan konu\u015fulmayacak, hale getirmi\u015fim.) Kolumda bir pelte gibi sallanan \u00e7ocu\u011fu g\u00f6ren s\u0131n\u0131f\u0131n hali\u2026 Nazilerin, Yahudileri temerk\u00fcz kamplar\u0131nda f\u0131r\u0131nlara g\u00f6nderdikleri bak\u0131\u015flardan daha korku doluydu.<\/p>\n Birden bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131m\u0131 avucumda sallanan \u00e7ocu\u011fa \u00e7evirdim. Aman Tanr\u0131\u2019m! Bu da ne?<\/p>\n Avucumda sallanan \u00e7ocu\u011fun iki aya\u011f\u0131 da yoktu. S\u0131n\u0131fa girdi\u011fimde aya\u011fa kalkmay\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 bir k\u00fcstahl\u0131k olarak kabul etmi\u015f ve t\u00fcm s\u0131n\u0131fa ders vermek i\u00e7in planlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bu vah\u015fet an\u0131n\u0131n sonunda d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm bu durum korkun\u00e7tu. Sanki bedenime binlerce volt elektrik ak\u0131m\u0131 verilmi\u015fti.<\/p>\n \u00c7aresizlik i\u00e7inde \u00e7ocukca\u011f\u0131z\u0131 s\u0131ras\u0131na b\u0131rak\u0131p \u201coturun\u201d komutunu vererek k\u00fcrs\u00fcdeki sandalyeye zor att\u0131m kendimi. V\u00fccudum yan\u0131yordu sanki. Terden s\u0131r\u0131ls\u0131klam olmu\u015ftum. S\u0131n\u0131fta bir \u00f6l\u00fcm sessizli\u011fi hakimdi.<\/p>\n Ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131p \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcne bakam\u0131yordum. O zavall\u0131 yavrucu\u011fun oturdu\u011fu taraftan birtak\u0131m hareketlenmeler oldu. G\u00f6z ucuyla bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda yavrucu\u011fun yan\u0131nda oturan arkada\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n arka s\u0131raya ka\u00e7\u0131\u015ft\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n Bir m\u00fcddet sonra k\u00fcrs\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00f6n\u00fcnde oturan sar\u0131 sa\u00e7l\u0131 deniz mavisi g\u00f6zleriyle bir k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck k\u0131z: \u2018\u00d6\u011fretmenim Narthan alt\u0131na \u00e7i\u015f yapt\u0131.\u2019 diye f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131 korkuyla. Tam o esnada teneff\u00fcs zili \u00e7ald\u0131. \u201c\u00c7\u0131kabilirsiniz\u201d dememle birlikte \u00e7ocuklar birbirlerini \u00e7i\u011fnercesine s\u0131n\u0131f\u0131 bo\u015faltt\u0131lar.<\/p>\n \u015eimdi s\u0131n\u0131fta ben, vicdan\u0131m ve bir \u00f6m\u00fcr boyu y\u00fcrek yaras\u0131 olacak Narthan<\/strong> kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k.<\/p>\n S\u0131n\u0131fta ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 hafif\u00e7e kald\u0131r\u0131p ona do\u011fru bakt\u0131m. Zemheri ayaz\u0131nda yuvas\u0131z kalm\u0131\u015f ser\u00e7e ku\u015fu gibi bana bak\u0131yordu. Bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131ndaki korkuyu, yakar\u0131\u015f\u0131 ve bi\u00e7areli\u011fi tarif etmem m\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fil. Usulca ona do\u011fru yakla\u015ft\u0131m. Zavall\u0131 Narthan korkudan ve \u00e7aresizlikten s\u0131ras\u0131na i\u015femi\u015fti. S\u0131ra arkada\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n ka\u00e7\u0131\u015fmas\u0131 bu nedenle imi\u015f. Temizlik g\u00f6revlisini \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131p s\u0131n\u0131f\u0131 temizlettim. (Asl\u0131nda o s\u0131n\u0131fta temizlenmesi gereken tek pislik bendim!)<\/p>\n Annesi bula\u015f\u0131k\u00e7\u0131l\u0131k yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 lokantan\u0131n telefonunu b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015f idareye. Hemen \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131lar. Kad\u0131nca\u011f\u0131z ellerini bile durulamadan yeti\u015fti ve ne oldu\u011funu bile sormadan \u00e7ocu\u011funu ba\u011fr\u0131na bas\u0131p g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc. Olay t\u00fcm okulda an\u0131nda duyulmu\u015ftu. \u00d6\u011frencilerimin bana korkuyla bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131na \u015fimdi nefrette kar\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u0130\u00e7imdeki yang\u0131n gittik\u00e7e b\u00fcy\u00fcmeye, cehenneme d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n \u015eimdi bu \u00e7ocu\u011fun benim meslek ve ruh d\u00fcnyamda yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u00fc anlataca\u011f\u0131m. Ancak bana olan nefretinizin \u201cpik\u201d yapmas\u0131 i\u00e7in bu yavrucu\u011fun 1990\u2019l\u0131 y\u0131llar\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131nda \u00c7e\u00e7en-Rus Sava\u015f\u0131\u2019nda \u00c7e\u00e7enlere destek olmak i\u00e7in Samsun\u2019dan o sava\u015fa destek i\u00e7in \u00c7e\u00e7enistan\u2019a gidip orada \u015fehit olan bir baban\u0131n o\u011flu oldu\u011funu da belirteyim.<\/p>\n O g\u00fcn\u00fcn ertesinde ve sonras\u0131nda Narthan okula gelmiyordu. \u0130\u00e7imde her ge\u00e7en g\u00fcn daha b\u00fcy\u00fcyen vicdan yang\u0131n\u0131 benli\u011fimi yakmaya devam ediyordu. Sanki bedenim bir mengenede s\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131l\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n Geceleri kabuslarla uyan\u0131yordum s\u0131r\u0131ls\u0131klam terler i\u00e7inde. \u201cVicdan Azab\u0131<\/strong>\u201d denilen \u015fey bu olmal\u0131yd\u0131. Art\u0131k bu i\u015fkence dolu kabuslara dayanam\u0131yordum.<\/p>\n Okul idaresinden Narthan\u2019\u0131n adresini al\u0131p \u015fehrin varo\u015flar\u0131na do\u011fru yola koyuldum. Yol boyunca Narthan\u2019la nas\u0131l y\u00fczle\u015fece\u011fimin muhasebesini yap\u0131yordum. Kendimi nas\u0131l affettirecektim? Doluya koyuyorum alm\u0131yor, bo\u015fa koyuyorum dolmuyordu. Adrese vard\u0131\u011f\u0131mda uzunca bir s\u00fcre kap\u0131y\u0131 \u00e7alamad\u0131m. Dakikalarca dolan\u0131p durdum kap\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde. Sigara \u00fcst\u00fcne sigara i\u00e7iyordum ve \u00e7aresizli\u011fin ne oldu\u011funun ay\u0131rd\u0131na var\u0131yordum. Utanc\u0131mdan ve vicdan\u0131m\u0131n \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan kap\u0131y\u0131 \u00e7alamad\u0131m. Tam evin kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndaki \u015fehir mezarl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n ta\u015f duvar\u0131na gidip oturdum. Bir yandan Narthan ile y\u00fczle\u015fti\u011fimde ona ne s\u00f6yleyece\u011fimi tasarl\u0131yor bir yandan da mezar ta\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n yaz\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 okumaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordum.<\/p>\n G\u00f6zlerim birden bir mezar ta\u015f\u0131 yaz\u0131s\u0131na kilitlendi: \u201cHer t\u00fcrl\u00fc borcunuza kefilim. Velev ki kul hakk\u0131 olmas\u0131n\u201d \u2013Hz. Allah- Bu yaz\u0131y\u0131 okuyunca i\u00e7imdeki f\u0131rt\u0131na daha da \u015fiddetlendi. \u2018\u2019Tanr\u0131\u2019m, kendimden nefret ediyorum\u2019\u2019diye hayk\u0131rd\u0131m. \u2018Nefret ediyorum kendimden, \u00f6lmek istiyorum\u2019 diye hayk\u0131r\u0131yordum mezarl\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7inde. Evet \u00f6lmeliydim ama kendimi Narthan\u2019a ba\u011f\u0131\u015flat\u0131p helallik almadan \u00f6lemezdim, Zaten Tanr\u0131\u2019ya kulluk bor\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131n hi\u00e7 birini \u00f6dememi\u015f m\u00fcflis bir t\u00fcccar gibi kabar\u0131kt\u0131 amel defterim. Bir de bunun \u00fcst\u00fcne Narthan\u2019\u0131n vebaliyle \u00f6l\u00fcrsem!<\/p>\n Ko\u015far ad\u0131mlarla ka\u00e7arcas\u0131na f\u0131rlad\u0131m mezarl\u0131ktan. Ne olursa olacakt\u0131 art\u0131k. O kararl\u0131l\u0131kla kap\u0131y\u0131 \u00e7almaya ba\u015flad\u0131m. Yoksul kap\u0131 a\u011f\u0131r ve vakur bir g\u0131c\u0131rt\u0131yla a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131. Sa\u00e7\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131 da\u011f\u0131n\u0131k, yoksullu\u011fun ve \u00e7aresizli\u011fin solgunla\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 yorgun bir kad\u0131nca\u011f\u0131z; \u201cBuyurun efendim kimi aram\u0131\u015ft\u0131n\u0131z?\u2019\u2019 diye f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131. Kendimi tan\u0131t\u0131p Narthan\u2019la konu\u015fmak istedi\u011fimi s\u00f6yledim. F\u0131s\u0131lt\u0131 halinde \u201c\u0130zninizle bir soray\u0131m kendisine, kabul ederse g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrs\u00fcn\u00fcz\u201d diyerek i\u00e7eriye girdi.<\/p>\n Saniyeler bir as\u0131r gibi geliyordu art\u0131k bana. Zaman ge\u00e7mek bilmiyordu. Nihayet kad\u0131nca\u011f\u0131z kap\u0131da g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc. \u00dczg\u00fcn bir edayla: \u2018\u00dczg\u00fcn\u00fcm hocam Narthan sizinle g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmek istemiyor\u2019\u2019 dedi. Beynimden vurulmu\u015fa d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm. Kap\u0131y\u0131 iteleyerek i\u00e7eriye dald\u0131m. Kad\u0131nca\u011f\u0131z korkmu\u015f ve \u015fa\u015f\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Ne yapaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmez bir halde kenara \u00e7ekilip kalakald\u0131. Ben \u00e7\u0131lg\u0131nca odaya dald\u0131m. Narthan izbe, karanl\u0131k yoksul odan\u0131n ortas\u0131nda bir divana y\u00fcz\u00fc koyun kapam\u0131\u015f elleriyle y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc kapam\u0131\u015f bir ac\u0131 yuma\u011f\u0131 gibi top olmu\u015f h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131yordu. Bu manzara kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda art\u0131k i\u00e7indeki f\u0131rt\u0131naya engel olamad\u0131m. H\u00fcng\u00fcr h\u00fcng\u00fcr a\u011flayarak Narthan\u2019\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcne kapakland\u0131m.<\/p>\n Aradan ne kadar zaman ge\u00e7ti an\u0131msam\u0131yorum ama kendime geldi\u011fimde Narthan\u2019la s\u0131ms\u0131k\u0131 kucakla\u015fm\u0131\u015f, kenetlenmi\u015f, bir haldeydik. G\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131m\u0131z ikimizi de s\u0131r\u0131ls\u0131klam yapm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n Narthan\u2019\u0131 okula geri d\u00f6nmesi konusunda ikna etmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131m ama ne dediysem, ne kadar yalvard\u0131 isem ikna edemedim. En sonunda boynuma dolad\u0131\u011f\u0131 kollar\u0131n\u0131 zorlukla a\u00e7\u0131p ve b\u00fcy\u00fck bir kararl\u0131l\u0131kla, \u201cE\u011fer okula d\u00f6nmezsen bende art\u0131k bu vicdan azab\u0131yla \u00f6\u011fretmenlik yapamayaca\u011f\u0131m ve \u015fimdi gidip istifa edece\u011fim ama beni affedip okula d\u00f6nersen bundan sonra d\u00fcnyan\u0131n en iyi en sevecen \u00f6\u011fretmeni olaca\u011f\u0131m.\u2019 dedim.<\/p>\n Divan\u0131n\u0131n \u00fczerinde bir kedi yavrusu gibi uzanan Narthan, ela g\u00f6zlerini k\u0131rp\u0131\u015ft\u0131rarak boynuma at\u0131ld\u0131. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck kollar\u0131yla s\u0131ms\u0131k\u0131 sar\u0131l\u0131p boynuma kula\u011f\u0131ma,<\/p>\n \u201cDers d\u0131\u015f\u0131 anlarda size \u201cBabac\u0131\u011f\u0131m<\/strong>\u201d dememe izin verirseniz evet d\u00f6nece\u011fim okula!\u201d. Yavrum, yavrucu\u011fum, \u00a0diye h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131rarak sar\u0131ld\u0131m vicdan yarama.<\/p>\n Siyah beyaz T\u00fcrk filmleri ile alay ederiz \u00e7o\u011fu zaman. Hani yeti\u015fkin ergen \u00e7ocuk y\u0131llar sonra rastlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 babas\u0131n\u0131 tan\u0131maz ama o adam\u0131n \u015fefkatinden etkilenerek, \u201cAmca sizi \u00e7ok sevdim, size baba diyebilir miyim!\u201d der ya. Ben o filmleri her izleyi\u015fimde a\u011flar\u0131m\u2026<\/p>\n Bilirim ki, o senaryolar\u0131n ard\u0131nda ya\u015fanm\u0131\u015f, heba olmu\u015f hayatlar vard\u0131r.<\/p>\n Narthan o hafta ba\u015f\u0131ndan itibaren okula ba\u015flad\u0131. Her sabah annesinin s\u0131rt\u0131nda \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc kata \u00e7\u0131kmak zorunda kal\u0131yordu. Arkada\u015flar\u0131 teneff\u00fcste bah\u00e7ede ko\u015fup oynarken s\u0131n\u0131fta yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve \u00e7aresizli\u011fi ile yolda\u015fl\u0131k yap\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n \u0130lk i\u015fim Narthan\u2019\u0131n s\u0131n\u0131f\u0131n\u0131 hemzemin olan alt kata ald\u0131rmak oldu. Merdivenlerin engelli \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n kullanabilece\u011fi \u015fekilde yenilettim. Ki\u015fisel tasarruflar\u0131m\u0131 ve hay\u0131rsever hem\u015fehrilerimin deste\u011fi ile yurt d\u0131\u015f\u0131ndan engelli ak\u00fcl\u00fc bir araba getirterek Narthan\u2019\u0131m\u0131n s\u0131n\u0131fa olan tutsakl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bir \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcde giderdim. Okul hizmetlisine ek \u00fccret \u00f6deyerek teneff\u00fcslerde Narthan\u2019\u0131n tuvalet ihtiyac\u0131na yard\u0131mc\u0131 olmas\u0131n sa\u011flad\u0131m.<\/p>\n Narthan art\u0131k ak\u00fcl\u00fc arabas\u0131yla sabah i\u00e7timalara kat\u0131l\u0131yor ve and\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 okuyordu ama bunlar\u0131n hepsinden daha \u00f6nemlisi ben art\u0131k eski \u201cBi\u00e7er-D\u00f6ver<\/strong>\u201d Cemil hoca de\u011filim!<\/p>\n Teneff\u00fcslerde Narthan\u2019\u0131n \u201cBabac\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u201d hayk\u0131r\u0131\u015flar\u0131 ile arabas\u0131n\u0131 bana do\u011fru s\u00fcr\u00fcp boynuma sar\u0131l\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6ren \u00e7ocuklar art\u0131k boynuma sar\u0131lmak i\u00e7in birbirlerini eziyorlar, en k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck sorunlar\u0131n\u0131 bile benimle payla\u015farak birlikte \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcm ar\u0131yoruz.<\/p>\n \u015eimdi art\u0131k ben okul kap\u0131s\u0131ndan girerken g\u00f6ren \u00e7ocuklar, birbirleriyle yar\u0131\u015farak bana ko\u015fuyorlar. Bazen bizim ihtiyar hocalar g\u00fcl\u00fcmseyerek \u2018Ah Narthan, ne vard\u0131 bu deli hocay\u0131 yola getirecek, bak \u015fimdi okulu zapt edemiyoruz.\u2018 diye i\u00e7 ge\u00e7iriyorlar.<\/p>\n Narthan ortaokulu ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 ve \u00e7ok mutlu bir \u015fekilde bitirdi. Kendini kan\u0131tlamak ve kabul ettirebilmek i\u00e7in \u00e7ok bilgi edinmek istiyordu. Bo\u015f zamanlar\u0131nda arkada\u015flar\u0131 sokaklarda top ko\u015ftururken o, ya benim kitapl\u0131\u011f\u0131mda ya il\u00e7e k\u00fct\u00fcphanesinde ya da okul k\u00fct\u00fcphanesinde kitap okuyordu. O hale gelmi\u015fti ki, b\u0131rak\u0131n arkada\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7o\u011fu zaman biz \u00f6\u011fretmenleri olarak unuttu\u011fumuz ya da bilmedi\u011fimiz bir konuda \u201c\u00d6yle de\u011fil miydi Narthan?\u2019\u2019 diye ona dan\u0131\u015f\u0131r hale gelmi\u015ftik. Art\u0131k o bizim o y\u0131llarda daha bilmedi\u011fimiz diz \u00fcst\u00fc bilgisayar\u0131m\u0131z olmu\u015ftu.<\/p>\n Liseyi yine benim ve hay\u0131rsever hem\u015fehrilerim sayesinde \u00f6zel bir lisede okumu\u015f ayn\u0131 ba\u015far\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 orada da devam ettirmi\u015fti. Annesine sosyal g\u00fcvenceli ve dolgun \u00fccretli bir i\u015f bulmu\u015ftuk. Ekonomik sorunlar\u0131n\u0131 da \u00e7\u00f6zm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fck elbirli\u011fi ile. Lise bitti\u011finde Narthan o y\u0131l \u00fcniversite giri\u015f s\u0131navlar\u0131nda T\u00fcrkiye 8.si olmu\u015f ve \u0130T\u00dc Makine M\u00fchendisli\u011fi\u2019ni kazanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n Her g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmemizde yine arabas\u0131yla bana ko\u015fuyor ve \u201cbabac\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u201d diyerek sar\u0131l\u0131yor ve her seferinde kabuk ba\u011flam\u0131\u015f vicdan yarama bas\u0131p a\u011flat\u0131yordu beni.<\/p>\n Aradan y\u0131llar ge\u00e7ti. Art\u0131k Narthan okulunu bitirmi\u015f, bir m\u00fcddet \u00f6zel \u015firketlerde \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f ve nihayetinde kendi i\u015fini kurmu\u015ftu. Ben hala Anadolu kasabalar\u0131nda yeni Narthanlarla kucakla\u015fmaya devam ediyordum.<\/p>\n Bir g\u00fcn postac\u0131 y\u0131ld\u0131r\u0131m bir telgraf getirdi. (Zamane gen\u00e7leri telgraf\u0131 san\u0131r\u0131m bilmezler! Konuyu da\u011f\u0131tmamak i\u00e7in telgraf\u0131n tan\u0131m\u0131n\u0131 sonraya b\u0131rak\u0131yorum.) Telgraf Narthan\u2019dand\u0131: \u201cBabac\u0131\u011f\u0131m hafta sonu evleniyorum, nikah tan\u0131\u011f\u0131ms\u0131n, acele gelmen gerekiyor.\u201d.<\/p>\n -O\u011flun Narthan-<\/p>\n Apar topar toparlan\u0131p hafta sonuna nikaha yeti\u015ftim. \u00c7ok l\u00fcks bir salonda nezih bir toplulu\u011fun kat\u0131l\u0131m\u0131yla Narthan\u2019\u0131m\u0131 evlendirdik. E\u015fi de kendi gibi engelli g\u00fczel bir \u00c7erkes k\u0131z\u0131yd\u0131. Nikah ak\u015fam\u0131 \u00f6zel dostlar\u0131na bir l\u00fcks mekanda dansl\u0131-e\u011flenceli bir yemek verdi. Gecenin ilerleyen saatlerinde Narthan hafif alkol\u00fcn etkisiyle arabas\u0131yla sahneye gelip mikrofonu ald\u0131: \u2018Dostlar\u0131m izninizle \u015fimdi e\u015fimle dans etmek istiyorum.\u2019 dedi ve e\u015fini yan\u0131na \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131. Orkestra \u015fefinin kula\u011f\u0131na bir \u015feyler s\u00f6yledi. T\u00fcm salon merakla ve heyecanla bu dans\u0131 beklemeye ba\u015flad\u0131k ve salonun lo\u015f \u0131\u015f\u0131klar\u0131 alt\u0131nda orkestra \u201cA\u011flayan Kafe<\/strong>\u201dyi \u00e7almaya ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n Aman Tanr\u0131\u2019m! Bu oyun b\u00f6yle mi oynan\u0131rm\u0131\u015f. Salonda herkes ayakta deh\u015fetle bir \u00e7ift ku\u011fu gibi dans eden bu \u00e7ifti hayranl\u0131kla ve g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131yla izliyordu. Hayat\u0131mda hi\u00e7 bu kadar sevin\u00e7 g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131 ak\u0131tarak a\u011flamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.<\/p>\n Can\u0131m O\u011flum, Narthan\u2019\u0131m<\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" KITIJ Cemil Biçer Öğretmenliğimin ilk yıllarıydı. Öğretmenlik bizde aile mirası gibidir. Büyük dedem Şpaşiğo Kafkasya’da Ecips Köyü’nün hem imamı hem din öğretmeniymiş. Babam Akpınar Köy Enstitüsü mezunu cumhuriyetçi, yurtsever bir Anadolu feneri. Ben de bilinçli olarak bu mesleği seçmiştim. Ancak öğretmenlik ne genetik yolla, ne de üniversitede öğretilen pedagojik formasyon ile kazanılırmış. Babam, “Bu meslek […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"0","ocean_second_sidebar":"0","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"0","ocean_custom_header_template":"0","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"0","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"on","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[61],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-37019","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar-kitij-cemil-bicer","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37019","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=37019"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37019\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":37054,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37019\/revisions\/37054"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=37019"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=37019"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=37019"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}