{"id":46781,"date":"2025-06-09T01:43:46","date_gmt":"2025-06-09T06:43:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/?p=46781"},"modified":"2025-06-10T15:33:47","modified_gmt":"2025-06-10T20:33:47","slug":"egosantrik-sanrilarim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/egosantrik-sanrilarim\/","title":{"rendered":"EGOSANTR\u0130K SANRILARIM"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

KITIJ Cemil Bi\u00e7er<\/strong><\/p>\n

“Sahip oldu\u011fum” \u015feyler diye ba\u015flayacakt\u0131m yazmaya “Egosantrik” bir \u00e7ocukluk d\u00f6nemi ge\u00e7irmi\u015f olabilece\u011fim alg\u0131s\u0131 olu\u015fur hakk\u0131mda diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm vazge\u00e7tim.<\/p>\n

Saklamba\u00e7 oynard\u0131k her \u00e7ocuk gibi, herkes bir yerlere gizlenir saatlerce arasak da bulamazd\u0131k baz\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131…<\/p>\n

Ben beceremezdim b\u00f6yle saklanmay\u0131. Arkada\u015flar\u0131m “haydi saklanal\u0131m” diye k\u0131y\u0131-bucak ka\u00e7\u0131\u015f\u0131rlarken ben g\u00f6zlerimi yumup “sakland\u0131m ben” san\u0131rd\u0131m!<\/p>\n

Kendi alg\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131n t\u00fcm di\u011ferleri i\u00e7inde ge\u00e7erli oldu\u011funu sanan naif bir \u00e7ocukluk evresi ge\u00e7irmi\u015f olmal\u0131y\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Bir \u015fiirimde \u00e7ocuklu\u011fumu anlatan dizelerim geldi akl\u0131ma:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Uzansam dokunacak kadar i\u00e7imde,<\/p>\n

\u00c7a\u011f\u0131rsam ko\u015fup gelecek kadar yak\u0131n…<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Geli\u015fim d\u00f6nemlerimin ilerleyen y\u0131llar\u0131nda b\u00f6yle say\u0131s\u0131z “egosantrik” ki\u015filik semptomlar\u0131m oldu. Bunlarla b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fcm, olgunla\u015ft\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Bug\u00fcnden geriye bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda “\u00e7ocukluk i\u015fte” dedi\u011fim buruk bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme ile an\u0131ms\u0131yorum o y\u0131llar\u0131.<\/p>\n

D\u00fcnyay\u0131 kendi yap\u0131p ettiklerimle ili\u015fkilendirmesi d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda asl\u0131nda tek ve emin bir \u015fekilde fikir sahibi olabildi\u011fim, kendimden yola \u00e7\u0131karak \u00e7evreme anlam verme ger\u00e7e\u011fi idi bu d\u00f6nem.<\/p>\n

Kendim g\u00f6rmedi\u011fimde kimsenin de beni g\u00f6rmedi\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm saklamba\u00e7 oynamak istedi\u011fimde! G\u00f6zlerimi kapatarak oyuna e\u015flik eder, b\u00f6ylece sakland\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n

Doktorumun benimle ilgili yarg\u0131s\u0131;<\/p>\n

“Bencil de\u011filsin, egosantriksin.”<\/p>\n

Yani kendi zevkime fazlaca d\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm, empati fukaras\u0131ym\u0131\u015f\u0131m.<\/p>\n

“Ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z s\u00fcre\u00e7te g\u00f6sterdi\u011fimiz davran\u0131\u015flar \u00e7ocukluk d\u00f6nemimizin bilin\u00e7alt\u0131m\u0131zdaki tezah\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcr” desem \u00e7ok mu ukalal\u0131k etmi\u015f olurum? Ne dersiniz?<\/p>\n

Sahip oldu\u011fum e\u015fyalar\u0131mla aramda normalin d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda bir duygusal ba\u011f kuruyorum, hatta bu duygusall\u0131k baz\u0131 zamanlar melankolik bir a\u015fka d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyor.<\/p>\n

Kol saatim,
\nDi\u015f f\u0131r\u00e7am,
\nYast\u0131\u011f\u0131m,
\nYata\u011f\u0131m,
\nEskimi\u015f elbiselerimin bir \u00e7o\u011fu ile \u00f6yle seviyoruz ki birbirimizi…<\/p>\n

Gardolab\u0131mda onlarca elbisem olmas\u0131na ra\u011fmen hep onlara y\u00f6nelirim.<\/p>\n

Sevgili kar\u0131c\u0131\u011f\u0131m bana “sen delisin” diye \u00f6fkelenir…<\/p>\n

Hay\u0131r! Ben bir deli de\u011filim, sadece “egosantrik” bir ki\u015fili\u011fim var(m\u0131\u015f)!<\/p>\n

Kimin yok ki?!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

KITIJ Cemil Biçer “Sahip olduğum” şeyler diye başlayacaktım yazmaya “Egosantrik” bir çocukluk dönemi geçirmiş olabileceğim algısı oluşur hakkımda diye düşündüm vazgeçtim. Saklambaç oynardık her çocuk gibi, herkes bir yerlere gizlenir saatlerce arasak da bulamazdık bazılarını… Ben beceremezdim böyle saklanmayı. Arkadaşlarım “haydi saklanalım” diye kıyı-bucak kaçışırlarken ben gözlerimi yumup “saklandım ben” sanırdım! Kendi algılarımın tüm diğerleri […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"0","ocean_second_sidebar":"0","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"0","ocean_custom_header_template":"0","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"0","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"on","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[61],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-46781","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar-kitij-cemil-bicer","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46781","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=46781"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46781\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":46824,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46781\/revisions\/46824"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=46781"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=46781"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=46781"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}