{"id":47801,"date":"2025-08-04T23:28:57","date_gmt":"2025-08-04T20:28:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/?p=47801"},"modified":"2025-08-04T23:28:57","modified_gmt":"2025-08-04T20:28:57","slug":"annemizi-nihayet-huzurevinde-kalmaya-ikna-ettik","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/annemizi-nihayet-huzurevinde-kalmaya-ikna-ettik\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cANNEM\u0130Z\u0130 N\u0130HAYET HUZUREV\u0130NDE KALMAYA \u0130KNA ETT\u0130K\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

KITIJ Cemil Bi\u00e7er<\/strong><\/p>\n

A\u011flanga\u00e7l\u0131 bir \u00f6yk\u00fc yazmaya kalksam, giri\u015f c\u00fcmlem bu olurdu.
Amac\u0131m, anneler \u00fczerinden duygu s\u00f6m\u00fcr\u00fcs\u00fc yapmak de\u011fil; sadece hayat \u015fartlar\u0131n\u0131n bizi nas\u0131l bir canavara d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6stermek istiyorum.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sosyal hizmet uzman\u0131 evimize geldi; sosyal inceleme raporu haz\u0131rlamak i\u00e7in. G\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fme esnas\u0131nda, \u201cTeyzeci\u011fim, huzurevine girme karar\u0131n\u0131 kim verdi? \u00c7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131z m\u0131, siz mi?\u201d diye soruldu\u011funda, \u201cHepimiz birlikte,\u201d yan\u0131t\u0131n\u0131 verirken annem g\u00f6zlerini bizden ka\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131 gibi geldi bana\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Daha \u201cHo\u015f geldin, Emine,\u201d dememizi beklemeden, kap\u0131n\u0131n e\u015fi\u011finde p\u00fcrtela\u015f anlatmaya ba\u015flad\u0131; kan ter i\u00e7inde kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.
\u201cHay\u0131rd\u0131r? Ne bu tela\u015f\u0131n? \u00d6nce bir soluklan,\u201d diyerek i\u00e7eriye buyur ettik Emine karde\u015fimizi.<\/span><\/p>\n

Emine ve e\u015fi Emin, bizim \u00e7ocukluk arkada\u015flar\u0131m\u0131zd\u0131r. \u00d6nce mahalleden, sonra ilkokul, ortaokul, lise ve nihayet \u00fcniversiteyi de Ankara\u2019da birlikte okuduk. Farkl\u0131 fak\u00fcltelerde olsak bile okul d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda hep birlikteydik.<\/span><\/p>\n

Benim A\u015fa\u011f\u0131 Ayranc\u0131\u2019da, bir apartman\u0131n bodrum kat\u0131nda kiralad\u0131\u011f\u0131m evim vard\u0131. Hafta sonlar\u0131, sonradan e\u015fim olacak \u00c7erkes g\u00fczeli, Emin ve Emine ile birlikte bu bodrum kat\u0131nda mutlu bir \u00f6\u011frenci kolonisi kurmu\u015ftuk. E\u015fim ve Emine Sabanc\u0131 K\u0131z \u00d6\u011frenci Yurdu\u2019nda, Emin ise ODT\u00dc yurdunda kal\u0131yordu. Hafta sonlar\u0131 benim \u201cBodrum \u00d6\u011frenci Yurdu\u201d ad\u0131n\u0131 verdi\u011fimiz evde toplan\u0131rd\u0131k.<\/span><\/p>\n

Emine \u00fcst \u00fcste \u00fc\u00e7 bardak su i\u00e7ti. Elleri titriyordu; y\u00fcz\u00fcnde, su\u00e7\u00fcst\u00fc yakalanm\u0131\u015f afacan \u00e7ocuklara has bir ifade vard\u0131.
Biraz sakinle\u015fmi\u015fti. Bizim sormam\u0131z\u0131 beklemeden anlatmaya devam etti:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBirlikte gittik. Kalabilece\u011fi b\u00f6l\u00fcmdeki ya\u015fl\u0131larla ve personelle tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Olas\u0131 odas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc. Bizi gezdiren sosyal hizmet uzman\u0131na, \u2018Koltu\u011fumu, televizyonumu ve sehpam\u0131 getirebilir miyim?\u2019 diye sordu \u00e7ekinerek.
Yan\u0131t olumluydu. Hatta \u00f6zel telefon bile ba\u011flatabilirdi. O g\u00fcn \u00f6\u011fle yeme\u011fini orada yedik. \u015eans\u0131na, \u00e7ok sevdi\u011fi k\u0131ymal\u0131 kapuska vard\u0131.
E\u015fimle birbirimize bak\u0131p ka\u015f g\u00f6z mimikleriyle \u2018Hay\u0131rd\u0131r?\u2019 i\u015fareti yapt\u0131k.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Emine, su\u00e7lular\u0131n tela\u015f\u0131 i\u00e7inde anlatmaya devam etti. Noktalama i\u015faretlerini katlederek konu\u015fuyordu:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYa\u015fl\u0131lar al\u0131\u015fveri\u015fe, gezmeye gidebiliyor. \u00d6zel g\u00fcnlerde ve istediklerinde \u2018evci\u2019 \u00e7\u0131kabiliyorlar. \u00dccretler alt\u0131 ayda bir de\u011fi\u015fiyormu\u015f. Annem gibi Emekli Sand\u0131\u011f\u0131\u2019ndan maa\u015f alanlar, \u00fccreti \u00f6demekte zorlanmaz. Belli ko\u015fullara g\u00f6re \u00fccret indirimi de yap\u0131labiliyormu\u015f.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Birden h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131klara bo\u011fularak a\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131 Emine. S\u00f6zc\u00fckleri h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131klar\u0131na kar\u0131\u015f\u0131yor, konu\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131 anlayam\u0131yorduk.
Oturdu\u011fu koltuktan kalk\u0131p yan\u0131ma geldi, boynuma sar\u0131larak a\u011flamaya devam etti. Annesinin bak\u0131m\u0131yla ilgili sorun ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 biliyorduk.<\/span><\/p>\n

Emin\u2019ler \u00fc\u00e7 karde\u015f. Ablas\u0131 Hatice yurtd\u0131\u015f\u0131nda ya\u015f\u0131yor, e\u015fi Hollandal\u0131 bir m\u00fchendis. Erkek karde\u015fi Hacettepe T\u0131p Fak\u00fcltesi\u2019nde \u00f6\u011fretim \u00fcyesi. Emine ve e\u015fi Emin ise Samsun\u2019da, l\u00fcks sitelere imza atan \u00fcnl\u00fc mimarlar. Olduk\u00e7a iyi i\u015f yapan bir in\u015faat \u015firketleri var.<\/span><\/p>\n

A\u011flamaktan kan \u00e7ana\u011f\u0131na d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f g\u00f6zlerini silerek kald\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerden anlatmaya devam etti. E\u015fim ve ben hi\u00e7 m\u00fcdahale etmeden sadece dinliyorduk:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnnem munis bir insan. O, verilenle yetinen; daha fazlas\u0131n\u0131 istemeyen, isteyemeyen bir ku\u015fa\u011f\u0131n insan\u0131.
Ama art\u0131k kendiyle ilgili kararlar\u0131 veremeyen, edilgen biri. 28 y\u0131ld\u0131r evde tek ba\u015f\u0131na ya\u015f\u0131yor. 4 y\u0131ld\u0131r g\u00fcnd\u00fczleri gelen bir refakat\u00e7i\/bak\u0131c\u0131m\u0131z vard\u0131.
Bak\u0131c\u0131larla sorunlar\u0131m\u0131z olmad\u0131 de\u011fil\u2026 Biliyorsunuz siz de.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSon y\u0131llarda annem, ya\u015fa ba\u011fl\u0131 ve ge\u00e7mi\u015f ya\u015fant\u0131lardan kaynakl\u0131 olsa gerek, iyice durgunla\u015ft\u0131. Her \u015feye ilgisiz ve isteksiz. Kolunu kald\u0131rmaya mecali yok. Unutkanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 art\u0131yor.
\u0130la\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 almak istemiyor. \u0130\u015ftahs\u0131z, denge ve y\u00fcr\u00fcme bozuklu\u011fu var.
U\u00e7an ku\u015fun kanad\u0131n\u0131n r\u00fczg\u00e2r\u0131ndan bile hastalan\u0131yor.
B\u00fcy\u00fck oranda ba\u015fkalar\u0131na ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131 ya\u015fayan, \u2018k\u0131r\u0131lgan\u2019 bir ya\u015fl\u0131 oldu\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Yava\u015f yava\u015f olay\u0131 anlamaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Emine, tatil i\u00e7in T\u00fcrkiye\u2019ye gelen ablas\u0131 ve doktor olan karde\u015fini de \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rarak annesini huzurevine yat\u0131rma karar\u0131n\u0131 kesinle\u015ftirmi\u015fti. Ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 travma, bu elim olay\u0131n vicdani su\u00e7lulu\u011funun do\u011fal bir sonucuydu.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNeler \u00f6\u011frenmedim ki!<\/strong>\u201d diye g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi. Ellerini nereye koyaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilemiyor, s\u00fcrekli iki elini o\u011fu\u015fturup duruyordu.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00d6ncelikle, \u00fclkemizdeki t\u00fcm huzurevlerinin ya ger\u00e7ek ki\u015filer ve \u00f6zel hukuk t\u00fczel ki\u015fileri, ya kamu kurum ve kurulu\u015flar\u0131 ya da Sosyal Hizmetler ve \u00c7ocuk Esirgeme Kurumu\u2019na (SH\u00c7EK) ba\u011fl\u0131 olarak i\u015fletildi\u011fini; tamam\u0131n\u0131n SH\u00c7EK taraf\u0131ndan denetlendi\u011fini; her birinin ayr\u0131 y\u00f6netmelikleri oldu\u011funu; \u00f6zeller hari\u00e7 60 ya\u015f ve \u00fczerindekilerin kabul edildi\u011fini; ya\u015fl\u0131n\u0131n bula\u015f\u0131c\u0131 hastal\u0131\u011f\u0131, uyu\u015fturucu madde ya da alkol ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 olmamas\u0131 gerekti\u011fini \u00f6\u011frendim. \u015e\u00fck\u00fcr ki annem t\u00fcm bu \u015fartlara uygundu.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBedensel ve zihinsel gerilemeleri nedeniyle \u00f6zel ilgi, destek, korunma ve rehabilitasyona gereksinim duyan; yata\u011fa ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131, fel\u00e7li, bedensel, g\u00f6rme ve i\u015fitme engelli, demansl\u0131 ya\u015fl\u0131lara… yani annem gibi olanlara \u2018\u00f6zel bak\u0131m hizmeti\u2019 veriliyormu\u015f.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sanki huzurevine yatacak hasta bizim annemizdi. Emine de bize huzurevini tan\u0131tan bir pazarlama eleman\u0131 gibi \u00f6vg\u00fc dolu bilgiler aktar\u0131yordu.<\/span><\/p>\n

Psikolog olmaya gerek yoktu. Emine\u2019nin v\u00fccut dili, nefes bile almadan durmaks\u0131z\u0131n konu\u015fmas\u0131, vicdan azab\u0131n\u0131n ruh hali oldu\u011funu a\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a g\u00f6steriyordu. Zaten ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 sosyal \u00e7evrenin bu olay\u0131 didik didik edece\u011finden \u00e7ok emindi. Ger\u00e7ekten de bu olay, Samsun sosyetesi taraf\u0131ndan aylarca g\u00fcndem olmu\u015f; neredeyse magazin haberi niteli\u011fi ta\u015f\u0131m\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHizmet 24 saat kesintisiz.<\/strong> Geceleri mutlaka hem\u015fire bulunuyor. \u00c7ama\u015f\u0131rhane, mutfak, yemekhane, revir ve tecrit odas\u0131, egzersiz odas\u0131, k\u00fct\u00fcphane, mescit, dinlenme ve oyun salonlar\u0131 var. Ya\u015fl\u0131lar\u0131n baz\u0131 pratik yemek ya da \u00e7ay yapabilecekleri bir ofis bile var. Hatta morgu, yang\u0131n merdiveni bile\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Daha bir\u00e7ok ayr\u0131nt\u0131y\u0131 \u00f6\u011frendik Emine\u2019nin anlat\u0131mlar\u0131ndan. Teselli olsun diye,
\u201cVallahi benim bile \u015fimdiden rezerve yapt\u0131ras\u0131m geldi, harikaym\u0131\u015f!\u201d dedim g\u00fcl\u00fcmseyerek.
Ama e\u015fimin ka\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7at\u0131p \u00f6fke dolu bak\u0131\u015f\u0131, bu esprinin yerini bulmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a g\u00f6sterdi.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u00c7ocuklar, l\u00fctfen siz de bir \u015feyler s\u00f6yleyin. Haks\u0131z m\u0131y\u0131m bu konuda?<\/strong> Elli ya\u015f\u0131ma geldim, do\u011fru d\u00fcr\u00fcst g\u00fcn y\u00fcz\u00fc g\u00f6rmedim. \u2018Ancak rahat edece\u011fiz\u2019 derken annemin bak\u0131m sorunu \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131 ortaya. Vallahi \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n okul durumu, bizim i\u015flerin yo\u011funlu\u011fu olmasa\u2026 ben de istemez miyim, annem yan\u0131mda otursun?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Emine lavaboya gitti. D\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde makyaj\u0131n\u0131 tazelemi\u015f, y\u00fcz\u00fcndeki yapmac\u0131k h\u00fcz\u00fcn maskesini \u00e7\u0131karm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Geldi\u011fi gibi yine tela\u015fla kalkt\u0131, giderken yeni bir konu ba\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 daha a\u00e7t\u0131:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBiliyor musunuz, Emin ne yapm\u0131\u015f?<\/strong>\u201d diye sevin\u00e7le hayk\u0131rd\u0131.
\u201cAnneler G\u00fcn\u00fc i\u00e7in Japonya\u2019ya gezi planlam\u0131\u015f, biletleri alm\u0131\u015f. Hafta sonu Japonya\u2019day\u0131z! Annemi size emanet ediyorum \u00e7ocuklar. Ona g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcz gibi bakaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131zdan eminim. Bilirsiniz, sizi benden \u00e7ok sever.
Allah a\u015fk\u0131na, Japonya\u2019dan istedi\u011finiz bir \u015fey varsa s\u00f6ylemezseniz dar\u0131l\u0131r\u0131m. Hadi ho\u015f\u00e7a kal\u0131n\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Geldi\u011fi gibi tela\u015fla kalkt\u0131, gitti. \u201cHo\u015f geldin\u201d diyememi\u015ftik, \u201cg\u00fcle g\u00fcle\u201d deme f\u0131rsat\u0131m\u0131z da olmad\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

O hafta sonu Emine ve Emin, Anneler G\u00fcn\u00fc dolay\u0131s\u0131yla Japonya\u2019ya u\u00e7tular.
Ben, Yurdag\u00fcl Teyze\u2019yi bize getirmek i\u00e7in evine gitti\u011fimde kom\u015fular\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131na toplanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Onu koma halinde yatar buldum. Ambulans \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131p hemen T\u0131p Fak\u00fcltesi Hastanesi\u2019nin yo\u011fun bak\u0131m \u00fcnitesine kald\u0131rd\u0131m. Doktorlar, beyin kanamas\u0131 te\u015fhisiyle tedaviye ba\u015flad\u0131lar.<\/span><\/p>\n

Emine\u2019yi ve Emin\u2019i defalarca telefonla aramama ra\u011fmen ula\u015famad\u0131m. Doktorlar Yurdag\u00fcl Teyze\u2019nin \u201cbeyin \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc ger\u00e7ekle\u015fti\u011fini\u201d s\u00f6ylediklerinde, ablas\u0131na ve abisine haber verdim.
Abisi, \u201cErtesi g\u00fcn bir kongre i\u00e7in Amerika\u2019ya u\u00e7mas\u0131 gerekti\u011fini\u201d s\u00f6yledi.
Ablas\u0131 ise, \u201c\u0130lk u\u00e7akla geliyorum,\u201d diyerek telefonu y\u00fcz\u00fcme kapatt\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ablam\u0131z geldi\u011finde, Yurdag\u00fcl Teyzemiz \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc.
Ben, defin i\u015flemleri i\u00e7in gerekli haz\u0131rl\u0131klar\u0131 yapt\u0131m. K\u0131rank\u00f6y Mezarl\u0131\u011f\u0131\u2019nda ailemiz i\u00e7in ay\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z yerden mezar\u0131n\u0131 haz\u0131rlatt\u0131m. Apar topar defnettik kad\u0131nca\u011f\u0131z\u0131. Ablam\u0131z ertesi g\u00fcn Hollanda\u2019ya d\u00f6nd\u00fc.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hollanda\u2019ya d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde beni telefonla aray\u0131p, \u201c\u00c7ok \u00fczg\u00fcn oldu\u011funu, bir te\u015fekk\u00fcr bile etmeden ka\u00e7arcas\u0131na gitti\u011fi i\u00e7in mahcup oldu\u011funu\u201d s\u00f6yledi.
\u201cYapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n masraflar\u0131 Emine, Japonya\u2019dan d\u00f6n\u00fcnce \u00f6deyecektir,\u201d demeyi de ihmal etmedi.<\/span><\/p>\n

Emine ve Emin\u2019in hafta sonu Japonya ka\u00e7ama\u011f\u0131 on g\u00fcn s\u00fcrd\u00fc. Japonya\u2019dan Katmandu\u2019ya ge\u00e7mi\u015fler. \u201cBelki bir daha buralara gelmek k\u0131smet olmaz, f\u0131rsat\u0131 de\u011ferlendirelim,\u201d demi\u015fler\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

D\u00f6nd\u00fcklerinden bir hafta sonra, Emine elinde kocaman bir paketle her zamanki tela\u015f\u0131yla bize geldi. Kap\u0131dan elindeki paketi b\u0131rak\u0131p:
\u201cHer \u015fey i\u00e7in te\u015fekk\u00fcr ederim \u00e7ocuklar. En k\u0131sa zamanda Emin\u2019le birlikte ziyaretinize gelece\u011fiz,\u201d diyerek ka\u00e7arcas\u0131na gitti.<\/span><\/p>\n

E\u015fimle birbirimize bakakald\u0131k. Elimdeki kocaman paketi vestiyerin \u00f6n\u00fcne b\u0131rak\u0131rken e\u015fim,
\u201cAk\u015fam bu paketi kap\u0131c\u0131ya verelim,\u201d diye f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

KITIJ Cemil Biçer Ağlangaçlı bir öykü yazmaya kalksam, giriş cümlem bu olurdu.Amacım, anneler üzerinden duygu sömürüsü yapmak değil; sadece hayat şartlarının bizi nasıl bir canavara dönüştürdüğünü göstermek istiyorum. Sosyal hizmet uzmanı evimize geldi; sosyal inceleme raporu hazırlamak için. Görüşme esnasında, “Teyzeciğim, huzurevine girme kararını kim verdi? Çocuklarınız mı, siz mi?” diye sorulduğunda, “Hepimiz birlikte,” yanıtını 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