{"id":658,"date":"2019-02-20T16:28:29","date_gmt":"2019-02-20T16:28:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/circassiancenter.com\/tr\/?p=658"},"modified":"2019-02-20T16:37:29","modified_gmt":"2019-02-20T16:37:29","slug":"suclu-benim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/suclu-benim\/","title":{"rendered":"SU\u00c7LU BEN\u0130M"},"content":{"rendered":"

YEMUZ Nevzat Tarak\u00e7\u0131 <\/strong>
\n<\/strong>13.06.2006<\/span><\/p>\n

Hep su\u00e7lu arad\u0131m.<\/span><\/p>\n

Yoktu \u00fcmidim: \u201cBiz yapamay\u0131z, biz tek y\u00fcrek olamay\u0131z!\u201c dedim.
\n\u0130yi \u00c7erkesli\u011fi laf ebeli\u011fi sand\u0131m. \u00c7ok \u015fey s\u00f6yledim, az \u015fey yapt\u0131m.
\nHerkeste eksik arad\u0131m, kusur kollad\u0131m durmadan.<\/p>\n

\u201cThamadeler anlam\u0131yor, gen\u00e7ler bilmiyor, geleneklerimiz \u00e7a\u011fa uymuyor! \u201c dedim.<\/p>\n

Hep ba\u015fkas\u0131nda, ba\u015fka yerlerde arad\u0131m su\u00e7u.<\/p>\n

Ben mi?<\/p>\n

Ben m\u00fckemmeldim, su\u00e7lu olamazd\u0131m ki!<\/p>\n

\u00d6z ele\u015ftiri mi?<\/p>\n

Hay\u0131r, ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131 ele\u015ftirdim insafs\u0131zca.<\/p>\n

Ben t\u00fcketmeli, ba\u015fkalar\u0131 \u00fcretmeliydi hep!
\nBen vard\u0131m ya d\u00fcnyan\u0131n merkezinde.
\nGol m\u00fc at\u0131lacak, ben atmal\u0131yd\u0131m mutlaka!
\nHerkes cennete girmeliydi, benim onay\u0131mla ama!<\/p>\n

\u00d6nemsemedim dili.
\nKavrayamad\u0131m televizyonun \u00f6nemini<\/b>.
\nYok olmu\u015f dilim, kaybolmu\u015f kimli\u011fim, can \u00e7eki\u015fiyor k\u00fclt\u00fcr\u00fcm, ne \u00e7\u0131kar. Laz\u0131m olan bana, arabayd\u0131, evdi, mevki ve makamd\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u0130\u015fte bu \u00e7izgide k\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131 faylar, bu noktada anla\u015f\u0131ld\u0131 hatalar.
\nGe\u00e7 anlad\u0131m yok olan her bir s\u00f6zc\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn aynam\u0131z, i\u00e7 sesimiz oldu\u011funu.<\/p>\n

D\u00fcnyam\u0131z\u0131n s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131n s\u00f6zc\u00fcklerimizin gidebildi\u011fi ufuklar oldu\u011funu.
\nHayat\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n tad\u0131n\u0131n da onlara s\u0131\u011fd\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z anlam kadar oldu\u011funu.
\nDilimdeki her yabanc\u0131 kelimenin, beni yuvamdan bir ad\u0131m daha uzakla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n habercisi oldu\u011funu.<\/p>\n

Su\u00e7lu benim, evet benim su\u00e7lu!<\/p>\n

Alt\u0131n kalpli gen\u00e7lerle ileti\u015fimi, laf kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131 sand\u0131m!<\/p>\n

Gereksiz c\u00fcmlelerle, tekrarlarla, maziyle kuru kuru \u00f6v\u00fcnmeyi marifet sand\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Model olmak yerine kolay\u0131 se\u00e7tim.
\nBazen g\u00fcld\u00fcm ge\u00e7tim.
\nBazen bask\u0131 kurdum zorlad\u0131m.
\nSevgiyle yo\u011furmak gelmedi akl\u0131ma hi\u00e7!<\/p>\n

Gen\u00e7li\u011fi doldurulmas\u0131 gereken bo\u015f \u015fi\u015fe sand\u0131m; yak\u0131lmas\u0131 gereken me\u015fale oldu\u011funu ge\u00e7 anlad\u0131m, zor kavrad\u0131m!
\nGe\u00e7 anlad\u0131m, aldand\u0131m! Su\u00e7luyum!<\/p>\n

Benim gibi su\u00e7lu arayan kim varsa bilsin ki su\u00e7lu benim!
\nKonu\u015fsayd\u0131m dilimi, herkes anlard\u0131 birbirini.
\nYa\u015fasayd\u0131m k\u00fclt\u00fcr\u00fcm\u00fc, bilirdi gen\u00e7li\u011fim, bug\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00fc, d\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00fc!
\nOlabilseydim g\u00fczel bir model, i\u015flenirdi emin ol k\u00fclt\u00fcr\u00fcm dantel dantel!<\/p>\n

Kat\u0131labilseydim, b\u00fcy\u00fcklerimle daha \u00e7ok sohbete, gen\u00e7lerle daha \u00e7ok d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne gidebilseydim, olu\u015fmazd\u0131 thamadelerle gen\u00e7ler aras\u0131ndaki bu u\u00e7urum!<\/p>\n

Marifet sand\u0131m, y\u00fcreklere, bileklere basmay\u0131.
\nH\u00fcner sand\u0131m emekleri yok saymay\u0131, b\u00fclb\u00fcl seslerini bast\u0131rmay\u0131.
\nHer g\u00fczel olu\u015fumun, her do\u011fru te\u015febb\u00fcs\u00fcn en ba\u015f\u0131nda \u201cOlmaz!\u201d dedim. \u201cBiz yapamay\u0131z!\u201d dedim. Destek olmad\u0131m , oldum adamak\u0131ll\u0131 k\u00f6stek.<\/p>\n

\u201cNeden yapamazm\u0131\u015f\u0131z, kimse yoksa ben var\u0131m, benimle kim var!\u201c diyemedim.
\n\u201c\u0130\u015fte y\u00fcre\u011fim, i\u015fte bile\u011fim, ve i\u015fte c\u00fczdan\u0131m!\u201d diyemedim.
\nG\u00fcc\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn k\u00fclt\u00fcr\u00fcm\u00fcz, k\u00fclt\u00fcr\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn g\u00fcc\u00fcm\u00fcz oldu\u011funu ge\u00e7 anlad\u0131m.
\nGe\u00e7 anlad\u0131m, bir araya gelen samimi y\u00fcreklerin g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc.<\/p>\n

\u201cSu\u00e7lu, aya\u011fa kalk!\u201c m\u0131 dedin?<\/p>\n

Ben hi\u00e7 oturmad\u0131m ki\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

YEMUZ Nevzat Tarakçı 13.06.2006 Hep suçlu aradım. Yoktu ümidim: “Biz yapamayız, biz tek yürek olamayız!“ dedim. İyi Çerkesliği laf ebeliği sandım. Çok şey söyledim, az şey yaptım. Herkeste eksik aradım, kusur kolladım durmadan. “Thamadeler anlamıyor, gençler bilmiyor, geleneklerimiz çağa uymuyor! “ dedim. Hep başkasında, başka yerlerde aradım suçu. Ben mi? Ben mükemmeldim, suçlu olamazdım ki! […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"0","ocean_second_sidebar":"0","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"0","ocean_custom_header_template":"0","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"0","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"off","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[106],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-658","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazarlar-yemuz-nevzat-tarakci","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/658","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=658"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/658\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":671,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/658\/revisions\/671"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=658"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=658"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=658"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}