{"id":776,"date":"2019-02-20T17:35:01","date_gmt":"2019-02-20T17:35:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/circassiancenter.com\/tr\/?p=776"},"modified":"2019-02-20T17:35:01","modified_gmt":"2019-02-20T17:35:01","slug":"cerkesten-pazarci-olur-mu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/cerkesten-pazarci-olur-mu\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00c7ERKES’TEN PAZARCI OLUR MU?"},"content":{"rendered":"

YEMUZ Nevzat Tarak\u00e7\u0131
\n<\/strong>22.09.2007<\/span><\/p>\n

Yutkundu, sesi titremeye ba\u015flad\u0131. <\/span><\/p>\n

Y\u00fcz\u00fcndeki \u00e7ile ve \u0131st\u0131rab\u0131n olu\u015fturdu\u011fu \u00e7izgiler belirginle\u015fmi\u015fti. <\/span><\/p>\n

Derinden nefes alarak:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSormay\u0131n karde\u015fim! \u201c dedi.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u00dc\u00e7 \u00e7ocu\u011fum da fak\u00fclteyi kazand\u0131 fakat okutamad\u0131m.<\/b> Hatta iki b\u00fcy\u00fck k\u0131z dereceyle bitirmi\u015fti liseyi. \u015eimdi kimi a\u00e7\u0131k \u00f6\u011fretimde kimi i\u015f ar\u0131yor.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

Neden, diye sordum.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u0130\u00e7ini \u00e7ekti, garip bir tebess\u00fcmle y\u00fcz\u00fcme bakt\u0131:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYokluk, yokluk i\u015fte! \u201c dedi.<\/span><\/p>\n

Y\u00fcz ifadesi iyice de\u011fi\u015fmi\u015fti.<\/span><\/p>\n

Eski g\u00fcnlere dalm\u0131\u015f, g\u00f6zleri kay\u0131p gitmi\u015fti. <\/span><\/p>\n

Belli ki y\u00fcre\u011fine g\u00f6md\u00fc\u011f\u00fc \u00e7ok ac\u0131s\u0131 vard\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

Belli ki paras\u0131z \u00e7ok s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131l\u0131 g\u00fcn ve uykusuz \u00e7ok gece ya\u015fam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

Devam etti:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u00c7ok az \u00fccretle \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u015f yerinden gen\u00e7 ya\u015fta emekli oldum. Kalabal\u0131k bir aileyiz. Bu parayla evi ge\u00e7indirebilmenin imk\u00e2n\u0131 yok. \u00c7ocuklar b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fck\u00e7e masraflar art\u0131yor. \u0130kinci bir i\u015fte \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmak zorundayd\u0131m. Aylarca i\u015f arad\u0131m, ne olsa yapacakt\u0131m.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cY\u0131\u011f\u0131nla gencin i\u015f arad\u0131\u011f\u0131 d\u00f6nemde i\u015f bulmak kolay m\u0131yd\u0131? Bulamad\u0131m.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u00c7ocuklar a\u00e7 kalmas\u0131n diye, sofradan doymadan \u00e7ok kalkt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 hat\u0131rlar\u0131m.\u201d <\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGeceleri uykular\u0131m\u0131 ka\u00e7\u0131ran paras\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n yan\u0131nda k\u0131zlar\u0131m\u0131n gelecek endi\u015fesiydi. \u201c<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkul masraflar\u0131, har\u00e7l\u0131klar\u0131 ne olacakt\u0131? \u201c<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u00c7ocuklar\u0131m bu s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131 hissetmeden b\u00fcy\u00fcmeliydi. Tek derdim buydu\u201d. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBen \u00e7ektim, \u00e7ekiyorum bari onlar \u00e7ekmesin.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u201cSonunda mahalle pazarlar\u0131nda sebze satmaya ba\u015flad\u0131m. Yani pazarc\u0131l\u0131k yap\u0131yorum. Sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131m yerinde, \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmal\u0131y\u0131m tabii. K\u0131sa s\u00fcrede ailemi iyi k\u00f6t\u00fc ge\u00e7indirmeye ba\u015flad\u0131m. \u201c<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u00c7ocuklar a\u00e7 de\u011filler a\u00e7\u0131kta de\u011filler. \u201c<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFakat rahat de\u011filim. E\u015fimle dostumla kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fmaktan korkuyorum, onlardan ka\u00e7\u0131yorum\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBu i\u015fi nas\u0131l yapars\u0131n, sen \u00c7erkes de\u011fil misin? Demelerinden korkuyorum!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u00c7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131n yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u015ften memnun kalmayacaklar\u0131n\u0131 san\u0131yor, bunun i\u00e7in \u00e7ok \u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcyorum.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPazar\u0131n kalabal\u0131k oldu\u011fu bir g\u00fcn, \u00fcrkek \u00e7ekingen tav\u0131rlarla yan\u0131ma yakla\u015fan, benim ya\u015flar\u0131mda, kal\u0131n g\u00f6zl\u00fckl\u00fc, hafif sakall\u0131 adam: \u201c Siz \u00c7erkes misiniz?\u201d diye sordu. <\/span><\/p>\n

Zor bir soruydu.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sa\u011f\u0131ma soluma bakarak yava\u015f\u00e7a evet buyurun dedim.<\/span><\/p>\n

Buran\u0131n yabanc\u0131s\u0131 oldu\u011funu, k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 \u00fcniversiteye kaydettirmek i\u00e7in buralara geldi\u011fini, yard\u0131mc\u0131 olabilirsem \u00e7ok sevinece\u011fini s\u00f6yledi. Mahcup bir tavr\u0131 vard\u0131. <\/span><\/p>\n

Tezg\u00e2h\u0131 biti\u015fikteki arkada\u015fa b\u0131rak\u0131p pazaryerinden uzakla\u015ft\u0131k.<\/span><\/p>\n

Buradaki derne\u011fin adresini ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, tek g\u00fcvencesinin buradaki duyarl\u0131 \u00c7erkesler oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yledi. <\/span><\/p>\n

Maddi imk\u00e2nlar\u0131 olduk\u00e7a s\u0131n\u0131rl\u0131ym\u0131\u015f. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cK\u0131z, illa okumak istiyor, g\u00fczel de puan ald\u0131 ama\u2026 \u201c<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Bizi birka\u00e7 ad\u0131m geriden izleyen \u00fcrkek, sar\u0131\u015f\u0131n, uzun sa\u00e7l\u0131 k\u0131za d\u00f6nd\u00fcm. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ad\u0131n\u0131n Janset oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yledi. Kendi imk\u00e2nlar\u0131yla s\u0131nava haz\u0131rland\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, hayalindeki bu okulu kazand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, ama kay\u0131t i\u015flemleri, kalacak yer ve masraflar konusunda \u00e7ok s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131l\u0131 olduklar\u0131n\u0131 mahcubiyet i\u00e7inde anlatt\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sarho\u015f gibi olmu\u015ftum. Bu anlat\u0131lanlara, bu ruh haline hi\u00e7 de yabanc\u0131 de\u011fildim asl\u0131nda.<\/span><\/p>\n

Y\u0131llard\u0131r y\u00fcre\u011fime g\u00f6md\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm ac\u0131lar \u00fczerime gelmeye ba\u015flad\u0131. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Derne\u011fin merdivenlerini yava\u015f\u00e7a \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131k. Y\u00f6netim odas\u0131nda birka\u00e7 y\u00f6neticiyle birlikte yedi sekiz ki\u015fi \u00e7aylar\u0131n\u0131 yudumluyordu. <\/span><\/p>\n

Sevindim, galiba bu \u00e7elimsiz k\u0131z\u0131n \u015fans\u0131 yaver gidecek, diye ge\u00e7irdim i\u00e7imden.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Rasim Bey, kimsenin y\u00fcz\u00fcne bakamayan \u00fcrkek, titrek sesiyle anlatt\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u0130\u015fsiz oldu\u011funu, sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n bozuk oldu\u011funu, i\u015f bulabilirse \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, kalabal\u0131k bir aile olduklar\u0131n\u0131, yol paras\u0131n\u0131 bile bor\u00e7 alarak k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n zoruyla buralara geldi\u011fini, k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n okumak istedi\u011fini, anlatt\u0131.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Zor anlar ya\u015f\u0131yordu. Belli ki her \u015feye ra\u011fmen gururlu bir insand\u0131. Yard\u0131m istemek, maddi katk\u0131 beklemek \u00e7ok a\u011f\u0131r geliyordu ona.<\/span><\/p>\n

Aman Allah\u2019\u0131m, bu paras\u0131zl\u0131k, imk\u00e2ns\u0131zl\u0131k ne zor \u015feydi!<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c E\u011fer kalacak yeri ayarlayamaz, burs deste\u011fi sa\u011flayamazsak ben okutamam k\u0131z\u0131. \u201cdiyordu. <\/span><\/p>\n

Rasim Bey konu\u015ftuk\u00e7a kan\u0131m\u0131n \u00e7ekildi\u011fini hissediyordum. Odadakilerin bak\u0131\u015f\u0131, kap\u0131 kenar\u0131nda sandalyeye ili\u015fen, ba\u015f\u0131 e\u011fik, ezik bir halde konu\u015fulanlar\u0131 dinleyen k\u0131za \u00e7evrildi. <\/span><\/p>\n

Derin bir sessizlik ya\u015fand\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHay\u0131rl\u0131s\u0131 olsun, zor i\u015f bunlar!\u201d s\u00f6z\u00fc toplant\u0131n\u0131n son s\u00f6zleri olmu\u015f, \u00fcmitlerse t\u00fckenmi\u015fti.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Titriyordum, ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 yerden kald\u0131ram\u0131yordum.<\/span><\/p>\n

Da\u011f\u0131l\u0131yordu herkes. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ama bu nas\u0131l olurdu?<\/span><\/p>\n

Ne olacakt\u0131 \u015fimdi?<\/span><\/p>\n

Ya Kafkas K\u00fclt\u00fcr Yard\u0131mla\u015fma Dayan\u0131\u015fma Derne\u011fi\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Ya her g\u00fcn bu odada konu\u015fulanlar, devletler kurmalar, \u00fclkeleri kurtarmalar\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Ya her g\u00fcn namaz sonras\u0131 cami avlusundaki g\u00fczel konu\u015fmalar\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Ya emekli e\u011fitimcilerin mangalda k\u00fcl b\u0131rakmayan tav\u0131rlar\u0131\u2026 <\/span><\/p>\n

Neden laf\u0131n ilerisi yok bizde?<\/span><\/p>\n

Neden ama, neden?<\/span><\/p>\n

Ne olacak \u015fimdi bu k\u0131z\u0131n durumu, bu ak\u015fam nerde kalacaks\u0131n diye ni\u00e7in kimse sormad\u0131?<\/span><\/p>\n

Dernek\u00e7ilik bu kadar basit mi?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00c7erkeslik bu kadar kolay m\u0131?<\/span><\/p>\n

Ya insanl\u0131k?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Merdivenlerden inmi\u015f sokakta y\u00fcz metre kadar ilerlemi\u015ftik. \u00dcmitler bitmi\u015f, s\u00f6z t\u00fckenmi\u015fti.<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Ne sefil k\u0131z, ne yaral\u0131 baba ne de ben tek kelime s\u00f6yleyemiyorduk.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ayak seslerimizde gizliydi adeta ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z her \u015fey.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

G\u00f6lgeler uzam\u0131\u015f g\u00fcn batmaya haz\u0131rlan\u0131yordu ki <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cEve gidece\u011fiz!\u201d dedim<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00c7aresiz adam yutkundu, derin nefes alarak: <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cRahats\u0131z etmeyelim, seni de i\u015finden ettik zaten, hay\u0131rl\u0131s\u0131 olsun\u2026 \u201c<\/span><\/p>\n

O da benim gibi hala titriyor, anlams\u0131z \u015feyler m\u0131r\u0131ldan\u0131yordu.<\/span><\/p>\n

K\u0131z, s\u0131rt\u0131ndaki \u00e7antan\u0131n a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 daha fazla hissetmi\u015f olmal\u0131 ki iyiden iyiye \u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015f bir durumdayd\u0131.<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Evdeyiz. Tan\u0131\u015fma fasl\u0131 bitmi\u015f,\u00a0 \u00e7orbalar i\u00e7ilmi\u015f, \u00e7aylar yudumlan\u0131yor.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ani bir kararla s\u00f6ze ba\u015flad\u0131m.<\/span><\/p>\n

D\u00f6rt k\u0131z\u0131m var, Janset be\u015finci k\u0131z\u0131m olacak. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u015euraya bir kanepe daha koyaca\u011f\u0131z, sofraya fazladan bir tabak daha gelecek. R\u0131zk\u0131 veren Allah\u2019t\u0131r.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sen endi\u015fe etme, yar\u0131n kay\u0131t i\u015flemlerini birlikte hallederiz, sen de memlekete d\u00f6nersin, k\u0131z benim art\u0131k, karde\u015f de\u011fil miyiz biz!\u00a0 Diyebildim. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Koca adam, a\u011fl\u0131yordu, g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131 art\u0131k kontrolden \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Tek kelime edemiyor, dudaklar\u0131n\u0131 kemiriyor, \u00e7aresizli\u011fin k\u0131skac\u0131nda eriyordu.<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Odaya bir yatak ilave edilmi\u015f, sofraya bir tabak daha eklenmi\u015fti.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben pazarc\u0131l\u0131\u011fa devam ediyorum, iyi k\u00f6t\u00fc har\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131yorum. Evde meyvemi sebzemi de eksik etmiyordum.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Nadiren de olsa pazarda dernek y\u00f6netimindeki arkada\u015flarla kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131mda heyecanlan\u0131r, acaba \u201cJanset\u2019le ilgili bir katk\u0131 m\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorlar\u201d diye i\u00e7imden ge\u00e7irirdim. <\/span><\/p>\n

Oysa her defas\u0131nda \u201cYahu \u00c7erkes\u2019ten pazarc\u0131 olur mu hi\u00e7!\u201d s\u00f6z\u00fcne muhatap olur, benden utand\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 hissederdim.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Bu alt\u0131n kalpli \u00c7erkes k\u0131z\u0131na istikbal haz\u0131rlama konusunda k\u0131l\u0131n\u0131 k\u0131p\u0131rdatmayan afral\u0131 tafral\u0131 karde\u015flerimin g\u00fcc\u00fc hep bana yetiyordu. \u00c7erkes’ten pazarc\u0131n\u0131n nas\u0131l oldu\u011funu anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorlard\u0131. Bir g\u00fcnden bir g\u00fcne \u201c Karde\u015fim sen \u00e7ok zor \u015fartlardas\u0131n, zaten aileni zor ge\u00e7indiriyorsun, bir de yabanc\u0131 bir k\u0131z\u0131n sorumlulu\u011funu\u00a0 \u00fcstlendin, bu nas\u0131l olur, biz de bir katk\u0131 sa\u011flayal\u0131m, y\u00fck\u00fcn\u00fc hafifletelim!\u201d diyen olmuyordu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Y\u0131llar eriyip ge\u00e7ti, tam d\u00f6rt y\u0131l geride kald\u0131. Jansetin annesi, babas\u0131 ve biz ailece mezuniyet t\u00f6renindeyiz. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Mutluluk f\u0131rt\u0131nas\u0131 ya\u015f\u0131yorum. <\/span><\/p>\n

Pazarc\u0131n\u0131n be\u015finci k\u0131z\u0131 mezun oluyor.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

Janset, sevin\u00e7ten u\u00e7uyor. Annesinin g\u00f6zlerinde g\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131, dudaklar\u0131nda dua. <\/span><\/p>\n

Babaysa, konu\u015famayacak kadar duygulu. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Nihayet Janset k\u00fcrs\u00fcde.\u00a0 Gen\u00e7 mezun, yetkilinin elinden al\u0131yor diplomas\u0131n\u0131. K\u00fcrs\u00fcden iner inmez ko\u015farak kuca\u011f\u0131ma at\u0131l\u0131yor. Birbirimize sar\u0131l\u0131yor h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131klarla a\u011fl\u0131yoruz. <\/span><\/p>\n

Baba ve annede de g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131 sel olmu\u015f ak\u0131yor. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Bu sevin\u00e7, co\u015fku ve h\u00fcz\u00fcn kar\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131 tablonun son perdesi de bitmek \u00fczere. <\/span><\/p>\n

T\u00f6ren sona erdi, d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yoruz. B\u00fcy\u00fck k\u0131z\u0131m koluma girdi. A\u011flamakl\u0131 bir tonla \u201cB\u00fcy\u00fck adams\u0131n baba!\u201d<\/b> dedi. Ve ilave etti: \u201c Y\u0131llard\u0131r mecbur kalmad\u0131k\u00e7a insanlar\u0131n aras\u0131na girmemeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Beni g\u00f6ren herkesin,\u00a0 \u201c Pazarc\u0131n\u0131n k\u0131z\u0131 \u201c s\u00f6z\u00fc \u00e7ok a\u011f\u0131r\u0131ma gidiyordu. Senin, bizim i\u00e7in nelere katland\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 iyi biliyorum ama yine de \u00e7evremin etkisiyle senden utand\u0131\u011f\u0131m g\u00fcnlerim oldu. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBeni affet baba, ne olur beni affet!\u201d <\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 e\u011fdim, yutkundum ve sessizli\u011fe g\u00f6m\u00fcld\u00fcm.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

YEMUZ Nevzat Tarakçı 22.09.2007 Yutkundu, sesi titremeye başladı. Yüzündeki çile ve ıstırabın oluşturduğu çizgiler belirginleşmişti. Derinden nefes alarak: “Sormayın kardeşim! “ dedi. “Üç çocuğum da fakülteyi kazandı fakat okutamadım. Hatta iki büyük kız dereceyle bitirmişti liseyi. Şimdi kimi açık öğretimde kimi iş arıyor.” Neden, diye sordum. İçini çekti, garip bir tebessümle yüzüme baktı: “Yokluk, yokluk 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