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Erhan Hapae<\/strong><\/p>\n Geceleri \u00f6b\u00fcr d\u00fcnyaya gidip geldi\u011fine ve meleklerle senli benli konu\u015ftu\u011funa inananlar, kendilerini makaraya alan di\u011ferlerine anlatacak epeyce \u015feyler buluyorlard\u0131 yinede. Bir zamanlar\u0131n uzun boylu bu yak\u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131 delikanl\u0131s\u0131, sesini kimseye duyurmadan ve ortal\u0131kta g\u00f6z\u00fckt\u00fc\u011f\u00fc zaman, ya ba\u011flar\u0131n bitip mezarlar\u0131n ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck \u00e7imenlikte, \u00fc\u00e7 k\u00f6ye de profil vererek namaz k\u0131la ya da orada de\u011filse, elinde g\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f bir ibrik, ba\u015f\u0131nda bir beyaz sar\u0131k ve bir asa gibi ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u015fli bastonu ile o profil verece\u011fi yere giderken rastlan\u0131rd\u0131. \u00c7erkesler de, uzaklardan da olsa \u00e7apraz ge\u00e7i\u015fecek iki ki\u015fi b\u00fcy\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn veya erke\u011fin \u00f6n\u00fcn\u00fc kesemez, k\u0131demli olan\u0131n ge\u00e7mesi beklenir sonra yola devam edilirdi. \u015eo\u011fube i\u00e7in buda ciddi bir sorundu, kimse ile kesi\u015fmek veya kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fmak istemedi\u011finden y\u00f6n de\u011fi\u015ftirip olmad\u0131k \u015fekilde yolunu uzatarak evine d\u00f6ner, \u00f6n\u00fcn\u00fc kesmemek i\u00e7in bekle\u015fen kad\u0131n veya k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckleri uzun ve \u015fa\u015fk\u0131n bekleyi\u015fler i\u00e7inde b\u0131rak\u0131p, ortal\u0131ktan kaybolurdu.<\/p>\n B\u00fct\u00fcn bu m\u00fcnzevi hayat\u0131 i\u00e7inde s\u00fcrekli uzaklardaki o tepecikte yaln\u0131z ba\u015f\u0131na tanr\u0131ya dua edip otururken g\u00f6r\u00fclen bu insan, hi\u00e7bir cemaate girmez, Cuma namazlar\u0131nda kalabal\u0131kla\u015fan camiye gelmez, Cuma namaz\u0131n\u0131n k\u0131l\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131 ayn\u0131 dakikalarda o da uzaktan ibadetini yapar, cemaate kat\u0131lm\u0131\u015f\u00a0 sayard\u0131 kendini. Art\u0131k ihtiyarlam\u0131\u015f, gen\u00e7li\u011fini yitirmi\u015fti ancak fidan gibi boyu, mavi g\u00f6zleri ve k\u0131r\u00e7\u0131lla\u015fm\u0131\u015f sakal\u0131 ile halen \u00e7ok yak\u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131 ve halen dimdik y\u00fcr\u00fcyebiliyordu. Birisi evli, di\u011feri epeyce saf iki ihtiyar karde\u015fiyle birlikte oturdu\u011fu evin alt kat\u0131nda bir odada ya\u015f\u0131yor, odas\u0131na yaln\u0131zca yemek g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcp getiren k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ye\u011feni girebiliyordu. Evin tek gelini Kobl\u0131\u2019n\u0131n k\u0131z\u0131, kendisinden hi\u00e7 \u015fikayet\u00e7i de\u011fildi, hi\u00e7bir ili\u015fkisi de yoktu zaten, haz\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 yemek tepsisini k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n eline tutu\u015fturmak d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda.<\/p>\n Ren\u00e7perlik yapan ailesi ile birlikte tarlaya gitmez, hasatta harman yerine gelmez, m\u0131s\u0131r ko\u00e7anlar\u0131n\u0131 ay\u0131klama gibi d\u00fcnyevi i\u015flere kar\u0131\u015fmazd\u0131. Ba\u015f\u0131ndaki Afgan usul\u00fc sar\u0131k d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda k\u0131yafeti normaldi ve babadan kald\u0131\u011f\u0131 san\u0131lan k\u00f6stekli saati yele\u011finin cebinde ta\u015f\u0131r, potinlerini temiz ve bak\u0131ml\u0131 tutard\u0131. Yaygarac\u0131, kar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131na osurdu\u011fu s\u00f6ylenen, biraz da ka\u00e7\u0131k amca o\u011flunun esprili sata\u015fmalar\u0131n\u0131, y\u00fcz\u00fcne bile bakmayarak, sessizlikle a\u015fa\u011f\u0131lar ve onu da sesini kesmek zorunda b\u0131rak\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n Y\u00fcz\u00fcne ve ailesine bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc sorulamayan sorular k\u00f6yl\u00fcler aras\u0131nda gizlice konu\u015fulur, kendileriyle hi\u00e7 konu\u015fmam\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fu halde ondan etkilenmi\u015f olanlar, zaman zaman onunla ilgili evliya masallar\u0131 uydurunca, di\u011ferlerinin e\u011freti g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemelerinin muhatab\u0131 olurlard\u0131. Kimine g\u00f6re tanr\u0131ya kar\u015f\u0131 i\u015fledi\u011fi o bilinmez su\u00e7tan dolay\u0131, odas\u0131 ve mezarl\u0131ktaki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck \u00e7imenlik aras\u0131na mahkum edilmi\u015f, getirdi\u011fi ikrar ve pi\u015fmanl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan dolay\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131k havaya zaman zaman \u00e7\u0131kmas\u0131na m\u00fcsaade edilmi\u015fti. Bu kendisini kimseyle g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmeme ve dar alan mahkumiyetine neden olan kabahatin ne oldu\u011fu hakk\u0131nda yine kimsenin bir fikri yoktu. Kimine g\u00f6re ise i\u015fledi\u011fi bir kabahat falan yoktu, meleklerin k\u00f6ydeki g\u00f6zlemcisi ve ajan\u0131yd\u0131, i\u015flenen g\u00fcnahlar\u0131 geceleri onlara bildiriyordu. Kimilerine g\u00f6re ise, Meleklerin ona ihtiyac\u0131 olamazd\u0131 onlar her \u015feyi g\u00f6r\u00fcyorlard\u0131 zaten.<\/p>\n Di\u011fer yandan\u00a0 i\u00e7ine d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fc bir imkans\u0131z a\u015fk ate\u015finin sonucunda yataklara d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcp, g\u00fcnlerce ate\u015fler i\u00e7inde k\u0131vrand\u0131ktan sonra bu hale geldi\u011fini iddia edenlerde vard\u0131. A\u015f\u0131k oldu\u011fu k\u0131z\u0131n bu k\u00f6yden olup olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bilinmiyordu ve d\u00fcnyevi birisi olup olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir yana \u00fcstelik k\u0131z olup olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 da muammayd\u0131. B\u00fcy\u00fck bir ihtimalle bu ya\u015f\u0131nda halen bakir idi. Kendisinin a\u00e7\u0131klad\u0131\u011f\u0131 hi\u00e7 bir \u015fey yoktu, annesi kimselerce hat\u0131rlanm\u0131yor, karde\u015flerine hi\u00e7bir \u015fey sorulam\u0131yordu. Biraz saf ve ola\u011fan\u00fcst\u00fc beceriksiz a\u011fabeyi Vumar, bir keresinde sanki ya\u015fl\u0131 bir kad\u0131n gibi cevap vermi\u015fti.<\/p>\n – A gu\u015fe \u00e7axherep<\/p>\n Biliyorum tuhaf bir durum, ailemizin i\u00e7inde ya\u015f\u0131yor bizlerle hi\u00e7 konu\u015fmadan ve hi\u00e7 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmadan, o emredilecek ya\u015f\u0131 \u00e7oktan ge\u00e7ti, gen\u00e7li\u011finde de bir \u015fey diyememi\u015ftik zaten, l\u00fctfen sizde \u00fcstelemeyin demek istiyordu, bu k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck c\u00fcmlesiyle.<\/p>\n \u00c7ar\u0131kl\u0131 Erkan\u0131-harp say\u0131lacak karde\u015fi Y\u0131smeyl, cami duvar\u0131 dibinde yakalad\u0131\u011f\u0131 her kese, ulusal siyasetin her noktas\u0131n\u0131, Menderesin idam\u0131n\u0131n haks\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, Sa\u011f\u0131r\u2019\u0131n (\u0130n\u00f6n\u00fc) ne kurnaz tilki oldu\u011funu, Katibin evinde Cemal G\u00fcrsel pa\u015fa\u2019 n\u0131n resmini g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc, y\u00fcz\u00fcnde nur olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlat\u0131yor, Menderes\u2019in kusurlar\u0131n\u0131 say\u0131p, ihtilalin gerek\u00e7elerini hakl\u0131 bulacak tek t\u00fck k\u00f6yl\u00fcye de haddini bildiriyordu. B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131 e\u011flenceli mavralarla anlatmas\u0131na ra\u011fmen a\u011fabeyi hakk\u0131nda sorulan temkinli sorular\u0131 duymazl\u0131ktan geliyor, ge\u00e7en zaman i\u00e7inde Demirel ve Ecevit \u00e7eki\u015fmesinin inceliklerine var\u0131yor ama \u015eo\u011fube\u2018nin sessiz mahkumiyeti bu ge\u00e7en uzun y\u0131llar boyunca, kimsenin anlayamayaca\u011f\u0131 \u015fekliyle s\u00fcr\u00fcp duruyordu.<\/p>\n Dedauvlar\u0131n \u00f6\u011fretmen olmu\u015f k\u0131z\u0131 Sadye, Onun hikayesinin pe\u015fine d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f, bizim Keseyhable k\u00f6y\u00fcnde \u00e7\u00f6zemedi\u011fi s\u0131rlar\u0131 kom\u015fu g\u00f6\u00e7eri k\u00f6y\u00fcnde, Besleneylerin aras\u0131nda ar\u0131yor, tatmin olamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 cevaplar\u0131 Shapsugh k\u00f6y\u00fcnde dillendirip ne bildiklerini sorgulamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu. Hi\u00e7 kimsenin elle tutulur bir \u015fey bildi\u011fi yoktu. K\u00f6ylerinde hat\u0131rlad\u0131klar\u0131 bir k\u0131r\u0131k kalp durumu yoktu, kendi k\u00f6ylerinde zaten hi\u00e7 g\u00f6rmemi\u015flerdi onu, Keseyhable ye \u00e7e\u015fitli nedenler ile geldiklerinde tesad\u00fcfen g\u00f6rd\u00fckleri daha \u00e7okta duyduklar\u0131 bu esrarengiz m\u00fcnzevinin hikayesi ile ilgili bildikleri, onun s\u0131ra d\u0131\u015f\u0131 bir suskun oldu\u011fundan ibaretti\u00a0 ve s\u0131rlar\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6zecek yeni bir \u015fey aramak bo\u015funayd\u0131.<\/p>\n Asl\u0131nda bir evliya hali vard\u0131 ve muhtemelen \u00f6yle birisiydi, fakat tanr\u0131 taraf\u0131ndan insan i\u00e7ine girmesi ve sesini \u00e7\u0131karmas\u0131 yasaklanm\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fundan, k\u00f6yde ya\u015fayan bilumum ahalide, yine ayn\u0131 tanr\u0131 taraf\u0131ndan merak etmeye mahkum edilmi\u015f durumdayd\u0131 ve kimileri kendi uydurduklar\u0131 yak\u0131\u015ft\u0131rmalar ile avunup duruyordu. Onun s\u0131rr\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6zmenin ba\u015fka yollar\u0131n\u0131 arayanlarda yok de\u011fildi. Onun, biz d\u00fcnyeviler taraf\u0131ndan anla\u015f\u0131lmas\u0131n\u0131 zor ve imkans\u0131z bulanlar, Onun, kendini merak edip duran k\u00f6yl\u00fcleri nas\u0131l alg\u0131lad\u0131\u011f\u0131yla ilgili sorgulamalara ba\u015flad\u0131lar. \u00d6yle ya, O suskun bir m\u00fcnzeviydi ama biz kimdik onun g\u00f6z\u00fcnde. Her g\u00fcn tanr\u0131ya \u015fikayet edilmesi gereken, iflah olmaz g\u00fcnahkarlar m\u0131yd\u0131k. Yoksa \u00f6b\u00fcr d\u00fcnyaya gerekli iltifat\u0131 yapmaktan imtina eden cahiller s\u00fcr\u00fcs\u00fc m\u00fc. Asl\u0131nda b\u00f6yle bir hor g\u00f6rme s\u00f6z konusu de\u011fildi. Ne bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131nda nede davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131nda b\u00f6yle bir \u015fey sezilmiyordu, bu sadece ondan \u00e7ekinen birka\u00e7 ki\u015finin h\u00fcsn\u00fc kuruntusu olabilirdi.<\/p>\n Yinede k\u00f6y camisinin \u00f6n\u00fcnde sabah\u0131n ilk saatlerinde \u00f6l\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6renler \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131kla kar\u015f\u0131lad\u0131lar durumu. Bu, k\u00f6ye ilk giri\u015fi ve caminin \u00f6n\u00fcnde ilk g\u00f6r\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f\u00fc idi ve bir \u00f6l\u00fc olarak. K\u00f6yl\u00fcler \u00f6lece\u011fini hissetti\u011finde o kutsal mekana ula\u015fabilmeyi istemi\u015f olabilece\u011fini, sabah\u0131n alaca karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda sabah namaz\u0131ndan \u00f6nce gelip orada ibadet ederek \u00f6lmeyi ye\u011fledi\u011fini anlat\u0131yorlard\u0131. B\u00fct\u00fcn bu yorumlar\u0131n ve tela\u015fla \u00f6l\u00fcy\u00fc ne yapaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u015fa\u015f\u0131ran kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131n aras\u0131na, O nu en son g\u00f6ren iki ki\u015fiden biri olan k\u00f6y\u00fcn \u00e7oban\u0131, \u015ea\u011fube nin karde\u015fleriyle birlikte geldi<\/p>\n Gece uyuyamam\u0131\u015f, k\u00f6y meydan\u0131na \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Cami meydan\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6ren duvar dibindeki tomruklar\u0131n \u00fczerinde oturuyor iken, ba\u015f\u0131 sar\u0131kl\u0131 bunu g\u00f6rd\u00fcm, camiye do\u011fru gidiyordu, onun beni g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc sanm\u0131yorum. K\u00f6y i\u00e7inde\u00a0 ilk defa g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm. Camiye girdi ve herhalde namaz k\u0131ld\u0131 ve \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. Yava\u015f\u00e7a avludan uzakla\u015f\u0131rken bir ses duydum.<\/p>\n – \u015eO\u011eUB<\/strong><\/p>\n Sesin sahibi, b\u00fct\u00fcn k\u00fcf\u00fcrleri ezbere bilen 6 ya\u015f\u0131ndaki, k\u00f6y\u00fcn en haylaz \u00e7ocu\u011fu Fatih\u2019ti san\u0131r\u0131m. \u015eo\u011fube bir an duraklad\u0131 ama ses \u00e7\u0131karmad\u0131.<\/p>\n – \u015eO\u011eUB<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0diye tekrarlad\u0131 karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7inden gelen \u00e7ocuk sesi.<\/p>\n \u015eo\u011fube durdu ve sese do\u011fru d\u00f6nerek sessizli\u011fini ilk defa bozdu.<\/p>\n – S\u0131d yavrum<\/strong>\u00a0dedi. Sesini ilk defa duymu\u015ftum. Durmu\u015f kulak kesilmi\u015fti, ben \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131k i\u00e7indeydim.<\/p>\n –Anan\u0131n …<\/strong> dedi karanl\u0131ktaki ses ve bir duvar\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnden atlay\u0131p karanl\u0131\u011fa kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n O geriye do\u011fru bir ad\u0131m att\u0131 ve ne oldu\u011funu anlamama f\u0131rsat vermeden devrilip d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Ba\u015f\u0131na yeti\u015fti\u011fimde herhalde \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Erhan Hapae Geceleri öbür dünyaya gidip geldiğine ve meleklerle senli benli konuştuğuna inananlar, kendilerini makaraya alan diğerlerine anlatacak epeyce şeyler buluyorlardı yinede. Bir zamanların uzun boylu bu yakışıklı delikanlısı, sesini kimseye duyurmadan ve ortalıkta gözüktüğü zaman, ya bağların bitip mezarların başladığı küçük çimenlikte, üç köye de profil vererek namaz kıla ya da orada değilse, elinde 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