{"id":8471,"date":"2023-01-05T15:39:37","date_gmt":"2023-01-05T21:39:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/circassiancenter.com\/tr\/?p=8471"},"modified":"2023-01-05T15:40:06","modified_gmt":"2023-01-05T21:40:06","slug":"anna","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/anna\/","title":{"rendered":"ANNA"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

Erhan Hapae<\/strong><\/p>\n

– Bak dedi, otomobili kullanan Askerby, i\u015fte O, Anna Ahmadova, g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmek ister misin?<\/p>\n

Omzuna ast\u0131\u011f\u0131 koca deri \u00e7antas\u0131, beline kadar gelen bembeyaz olmu\u015f sa\u00e7lar\u0131yla, geni\u015f kald\u0131r\u0131m\u0131n duvara yak\u0131n k\u0131sm\u0131nda, kendine \u00e7ok g\u00fcvenerek ve hi\u00e7te yabanc\u0131l\u0131k \u00e7ekmez bir halde y\u00fcr\u00fcyordu meydana do\u011fru. Bir s\u00fcre teredd\u00fct ettim.<\/p>\n

– Kim?\u00a0 Ha o… Bilmem\u2026 Belki\u2026. Belki baha sonra.<\/p>\n

Neden bu kadar teredd\u00fct etmi\u015ftim, bilmiyorum. \u00dcniversitede okudu\u011fu y\u0131llar ismi ”g\u00fczel Anna” imi\u015f. Hala \u00e7ok g\u00fczeldi ama boyamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 sa\u00e7lar\u0131 ve aradan ge\u00e7en onca zaman, tan\u0131makta g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fck \u00e7ekti\u011fim birisi haline \u00e7evirmi\u015fti onu ve s\u00f6ylenen isimle g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm kad\u0131n aras\u0131nda ba\u011f kurmakta zorlanm\u0131\u015f, haz\u0131rl\u0131ks\u0131z yakalanm\u0131\u015f olmam\u0131n teredd\u00fctleri ile yine onu haz\u0131rl\u0131ks\u0131z yakalam\u0131\u015f olmaktan \u00fcrkm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm. Belki de durumu o anl\u0131k atlatma ihtiyac\u0131m bundand\u0131. Uzak Rusya ta\u015fras\u0131nda, hangi ka\u00e7\u0131\u015flar\u0131n esiri olarak bu sokaklarda dola\u015f\u0131yordu, kim bilir.<\/p>\n

\u015eehrin k\u00f6y say\u0131lacak kenar mahallelerinden k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir Rus yerle\u015fim b\u00f6lgesinde bir ev sat\u0131n alm\u0131\u015f ve oraya yerle\u015fmi\u015f oldu\u011funu duyard\u0131m. S\u0131n\u0131rl\u0131 bir \u0130ngilizce d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda T\u00fcrk\u00e7e’den ba\u015fka bildi\u011fi bir dil yoktu. \u0130ngilizce konu\u015fabilece\u011fi birka\u00e7 kentli ve T\u00fcrk\u00e7e dertle\u015fece\u011fi bir avu\u00e7 d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00e7\u00fcye \u00e7ok uzak bu inziva hayat\u0131, \u0130stanbullu o kad\u0131n i\u00e7in kendi ad\u0131na benim i\u00e7in anla\u015f\u0131lmaz geliyordu. H\u00fckmeden yumu\u015fakl\u0131\u011f\u0131, ger\u00e7ek hayattan uzak d\u00fcnyalarda ya\u015f\u0131yor hali, elbette anla\u015f\u0131lmay\u0131 zor k\u0131l\u0131yordu ancak, eski hikayeleri anlatmak ve kendini if\u015fa edip rahatlamak yerine, yine ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131 anlamak ve belki de anlatmak \u00fczerine ka\u00e7\u0131p sakland\u0131\u011f\u0131 bu k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ta\u015fra kentinde, huzur bulup bulmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 konusunda hi\u00e7bir fikrim yoktu.<\/p>\n

Hen\u00fcz y\u0131k\u0131lm\u0131\u015f son evlili\u011fi ve b\u00fcy\u00fcy\u00fcp, da\u011f\u0131lm\u0131\u015f gitmi\u015f \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n ard\u0131ndan, bir belgesel i\u00e7in Tiflis \u015fehri de dahil, dola\u015f\u0131p durdu\u011fu o b\u00fct\u00fcn Kafkasya i\u00e7inde bu k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck \u015fehri se\u00e7mi\u015f, o zamanlar k\u0131sa s\u00fcrede verilen, sonradan So\u00e7i g\u00fcmr\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde ba\u015f\u0131na bela olacak SSCB pasaportunu da al\u0131p cebine koymu\u015ftu, inziva i\u00e7in kendisini anlay\u0131p kucaklayanlar olacak m\u0131yd\u0131 pekte emin olmadan.<\/p>\n

Bir ak\u015fam\u00fcst\u00fc aray\u0131p Ethem Bey\u2019in ye\u011feninin \u0130stanbul\u2019da oldu\u011funu ve bizlerle g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmek istedi\u011fini bildirmi\u015fti. Ne konu\u015faca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 da pek bilmeden Anna ile birlikte, ye\u011fenin kald\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00fcnl\u00fc tiyatrocunun evine yollanm\u0131\u015f, G\u00fcner Kuban ve muhtemelen sevgilisi olan Amsterdam\u2019l\u0131 gen\u00e7 afeti de al\u0131p The Marmara oteli lobisine gelmi\u015f, orada uzun s\u00fcre sohbet etmi\u015ftik.<\/p>\n

Benim i\u00e7inde merak konusuydu Kuban. Onu konu\u015fturmaya niyetliydik ikimizde. Ger\u00e7i pek gerek yokmu\u015f, zaten kimseyi konu\u015fturdu\u011fu falan da yoktu. Kendinden emin, y\u00f6neten gevezeli\u011fi, beni ilk kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m insanlarla kurmakta g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fck \u00e7ekti\u011fim s\u00f6zl\u00fc ili\u015fkinin s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131ndan kurtarm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u00c7erkesya\u2019ya<\/b><\/strong> gitmek istiyordu, onu g\u00f6t\u00fcrebilir miydik.<\/b><\/strong> Di\u011fer yandan do\u011fal olarak Ethem Bey\u2019le ilgili di\u015fe dokunur ve bizlerin bilmedi\u011fi detaylar yerine, Cumhuriyeti kuranlara ne kadar \u00e7ok hizmet etti\u011fini anlat\u0131yor, bu kadir bilmezli\u011fin hesab\u0131n\u0131 \u00c7erkeslerin neden sorgulamad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlayam\u0131yordu. Amsterdam \u015fehrinin en \u00fcnl\u00fc lezbiyen bar\u0131n\u0131n sahibi kad\u0131n, amcas\u0131na \u00e7ok fena sahip \u00e7\u0131kmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu ve yine hainlikten kurtulma psikozu idi durum. Benim pek de itiraz etmeyece\u011fim, gizlilik i\u00e7inde olmamas\u0131 bir yana gazetelere tefrikalar halinde yay\u0131nlanan cinsel hayat\u0131, Ethem i\u00e7in bir cinayet konusu olur muydu bilmiyorduk ama Anna ile birlikte kabul etti\u011fimiz \u015fey, ailenin her zaman s\u0131k\u0131 bir radikal bar\u0131nd\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131yd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Benim \u015fa\u015fk\u0131n acemili\u011fimi fark eden G\u00fcner, bitmi\u015f tuhaf marka sigaras\u0131n\u0131 yan\u0131ndaki ‘afet\u2019e ald\u0131rm\u0131\u015f, tela\u015flanma<\/b><\/strong> demi\u015fti halleder o.<\/b><\/strong> Bu sayede, Duthc dilinde bile olsa, hi\u00e7 anlayamayaca\u011f\u0131 sohbet konusundan bir iki dakika da olsa kurtulmu\u015ftu afet. Bu iki otoriter kad\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131nda, afetin k\u0131r\u0131tan zarif y\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fc seyretme cesareti g\u00f6sterememi\u015ftim.<\/p>\n

G\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcr\u00fcz demi\u015ftik ama \u015funu unutma, Ethem, Adigey\u2019de hain de\u011fil ama kahraman da de\u011fil, bizler gibi s\u0131radan birisi olarak gideriz senle. Anla\u015ft\u0131k, Los Angeles ve Amsterdam\u2019da \u00e7e\u015fitli adresler ve bir o kadar telefonlar verdi bize, ayr\u0131ld\u0131k. Anna hi\u00e7 dedikodusunu yapmad\u0131 o gecenin, kad\u0131na ve Ethem\u2019e sayg\u0131da hi\u00e7bir kusur etmeden ve bana da ettirmeden sohbet ettik yolda. O bir anlat\u0131c\u0131yd\u0131 sonunda, dedikoducu de\u011fil. Anadolu yakas\u0131ndaki evine b\u0131rakmama m\u00fcsaade etmemi\u015f, Y\u0131ld\u0131zda bir taksiye bindirmemi isteyip ayr\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k.<\/p>\n

Anna Ahmadova, Abhazyal\u0131 kad\u0131n \u015fair Gunda\u2019n\u0131n uyar\u0131s\u0131yla, kendi a\u00e7\u0131mdan \u00e7ok ge\u00e7 kalm\u0131\u015f olarak tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir \u015fairdi. Y\u00fczy\u0131l\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131nda do\u011fmu\u015f Rusya\u2019n\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn o problemli y\u0131llar\u0131nda \u00e7ilelerle dolu \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u00fc tamamlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131, g\u00fczeller g\u00fczeliydi ve bir o kadarda ayk\u0131r\u0131. Anar\u015fist gen\u00e7 kocas\u0131 Bol\u015feviklerden \u00f6nce idam edilmi\u015fti ve o noktadan itibaren \u00c7arl\u0131k ve Bol\u015fevizm de dahil ne ge\u00e7ip gittiyse Rusya\u2019dan, ya\u015fam\u0131 ona dar etmek i\u00e7in yar\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015flar, ne dedi\u011fini anlamakta zorland\u0131klar\u0131 bu naif \u015fairi ahlak d\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc ve soyluluk \u00f6zlemiyle su\u00e7lay\u0131p kitaplar\u0131n\u0131 yasaklam\u0131\u015flard\u0131.<\/p>\n

Askerby, bu \u00e7ok iyi tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015faire benzetti\u011fi i\u00e7in \u00e7ok az tan\u0131mas\u0131na ra\u011fmen ona da Anna ismini vermi\u015fti yoksa ger\u00e7ek ismini biliyordu elbet. \u0130lk o\u011flunu cezaevinde do\u011furmu\u015f, kimseleri dinlemeyen e\u015fk\u0131ya kuzeninin belinden iki silah\u0131n\u0131 birden al\u0131p bir torbaya koymu\u015f, Etilerde bir bah\u00e7ede verilen partide b\u00fct\u00fcn o kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7inde karizmas\u0131n\u0131 fena \u00e7izmi\u015fti. U\u011fra\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 yaz\u0131 \u00e7izi i\u015fleri ve televizyonlarda yay\u0131nlanan ilk d\u00fczg\u00fcn senaryolardan birinin yazar\u0131yd\u0131. \u0130ki yakas\u0131n\u0131 bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc bir araya getirmeyen \u00e7ileli ya\u015fam\u0131, y\u00fcz\u00fcnde g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemesini hi\u00e7 eksik etmeden m\u00fccadeleden vazge\u00e7meyen hali ve zihinsel olarak dola\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 ger\u00e7ek\u00fcst\u00fc d\u00fcnyas\u0131 g\u00f6z \u00f6n\u00fcne al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131nda bu ironik benzetme benim hi\u00e7te itiraz edece\u011fim bir \u015fey de\u011fildi.<\/p>\n

D\u00f6nelim, dedim Askerby\u2019e bulal\u0131m onu, \u00c7etav\u2019a gidiyordur o. Hay\u0131r \u00c7etav\u2019a u\u011framam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 o g\u00fcn sordu\u011fumuz yerlerde de bulamad\u0131k. Daha sonra ise unutup gittik.<\/p>\n

G\u00fcner Kuban\u2019\u0131n y\u0131llarca Avrupa ve \u0130stanbul \u00fcst s\u0131n\u0131flar\u0131nda s\u00fcrd\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc \u015fa\u015fal\u0131 ve zengin hayat\u0131n son demlerinde k\u00f6klerine d\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcn hale gelmesiydi, konu\u015fmak istedi\u011fim, bulabilseydim e\u011fer. B\u00fct\u00fcn o \u015fa\u015fal\u0131 kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7inde \u00e7ekti\u011fi yaln\u0131zl\u0131k duygusu muydu bu durum yahut ta kalabal\u0131klar \u00e7ekilip da\u011f\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131nda d\u00fc\u015f\u00fclen kimsesizlik mi. Ba\u015ftan beri var m\u0131yd\u0131 bu aray\u0131\u015f yoksa \u0131ss\u0131zl\u0131k \u00e7\u00f6kt\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde sa\u00e7lar\u0131n ok\u015fanarak s\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131lacak bir yuva hasretimi. Benim i\u00e7in ikisi de insani bir \u015feydi, herhalde onun i\u00e7inde, ama teyit ettirmeyi ba\u015faramad\u0131m. Bunu ben itiraf edebilir miydim bilmiyorum. G\u00fcrc\u00fc bir baba ve kendini soylu sayan Adige bir annenin k\u0131z\u0131yd\u0131 ve belki de her dem Adige hissetmi\u015fti kendini. Ve belki de, b\u00fct\u00fcn s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 rahat\u00e7a anlatabilece\u011fi ve kusurlar\u0131n\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcne hi\u00e7 vurulmayaca\u011f\u0131 bir incelik bekledi\u011fi, ana kuca\u011f\u0131 \u00f6zlemiydi bu \u015fehir.<\/p>\n

Seneler sonra, uzaklarda bir \u015fehirde, bir kanepede uyuklarken Nurdan aray\u0131p televizyonu a\u00e7mam\u0131 istedi, Anna\u2019n\u0131n o\u011flu, Antalya\u2019da en iyi film \u00f6d\u00fcl\u00fcn\u00fc alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n

CARI<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Erhan Hapae – Bak dedi, otomobili kullanan Askerby, işte O, Anna Ahmadova, görüşmek ister misin? Omzuna astığı koca deri çantası, beline kadar gelen bembeyaz olmuş saçlarıyla, geniş kaldırımın duvara yakın kısmında, kendine çok güvenerek ve hiçte yabancılık çekmez bir halde yürüyordu meydana doğru. Bir süre tereddüt ettim. – Kim?  Ha o… Bilmem… Belki…. Belki baha […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"0","ocean_second_sidebar":"0","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"0","ocean_custom_header_template":"0","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"0","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"off","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[118],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8471","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-oykuler","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8471","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8471"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8471\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":31905,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8471\/revisions\/31905"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8471"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8471"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8471"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}