{"id":8653,"date":"2019-03-10T21:31:02","date_gmt":"2019-03-10T21:31:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/circassiancenter.com\/tr\/?p=8653"},"modified":"2019-03-10T21:44:54","modified_gmt":"2019-03-10T21:44:54","slug":"kirami","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.circassiancenter.com\/tr\/kirami\/","title":{"rendered":"K\u0130RAM\u0130"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

Tolgay Kaya<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ben Kirami\u2019yi \u0130stanbul’da, Uzunyayla Kafkas K\u00fclt\u00fcr Derne\u011fi’nde tan\u0131d\u0131m.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tam manas\u0131yla tan\u0131\u015fmam\u0131z; derne\u011fin o \u00e7ok ele\u015ftirilen ve kalks\u0131n m\u0131 kalkmas\u0131n m\u0131 tart\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131 her zaman g\u00fcndemde olan lokalinde oldu. Derne\u011fin o dik merdivenlerden \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131n yorgun arg\u0131n, bu karmakar\u0131\u015f\u0131k \u015fehrin i\u00e7inde kendini iyice yaln\u0131z hissederek gezdin durmadan. Kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7ine att\u0131\u011f\u0131n her ad\u0131m seni daha bir yaln\u0131zla\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131 bu koca \u015fehirde. Kendine ve ruhuna yabanc\u0131la\u015ft\u0131n, metropol anaforda ge\u00e7en her g\u00fcn senden bir \u015feyler ald\u0131 g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc, her ge\u00e7en g\u00fcnle kendinden biraz daha uzakla\u015ft\u0131n. Bozk\u0131r\u0131n o tek d\u00fcze hi\u00e7 de\u011fi\u015fmeyen g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcs\u00fc gitmeye ba\u015flad\u0131 haf\u0131zandan. F\u0131rsat bulduk\u00e7a gitmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n, seni sen yapan o topraklara, her yakla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131nda ve o bozk\u0131r\u0131n ac\u0131nas\u0131 yoksunlu\u011funu uzun zamandan sonra yeniden g\u00f6rmeye ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, seni sen yapan seni yeniden hat\u0131rlad\u0131n. Yeniden hat\u0131rlad\u0131n, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc asl\u0131nda sen bir \u201cBozk\u0131r Kurtu’ydun\u201d<\/p>\n

Lokalden i\u00e7eri girdin. Bilmem ka\u00e7\u0131nc\u0131 defa ve bilmem ka\u00e7\u0131nc\u0131 defa oturdun, \u00e7uhalar\u0131 eskiyen ve sinmi\u015f sigara duman\u0131 kokan dernek lokalinin, o bas\u0131k, o havas\u0131z k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck salonunun masalar\u0131ndan birine. Masalarda oturanlar\u0131n bir bir ellerini s\u0131kmak i\u00e7inden gelmedi, can\u0131n s\u0131kk\u0131n oldu\u011funda \u00f6yle yapard\u0131n genelde. Her g\u00fcn gelmesine ve oradaki insanlar\u0131 her g\u00fcn g\u00f6rmesine ra\u011fmen, b\u0131kmadan usanmadan her i\u00e7eri girdi\u011finde herkesle, ayr\u0131 ayr\u0131 merhabala\u015fan insanlara hayretle kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k bir sayg\u0131da duyard\u0131n. Zavall\u0131 Kirami elinde sigaras\u0131 ve ba\u015f\u0131nda hi\u00e7 \u00e7\u0131karmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 Uzunyayla kasketiyle \u00f6ylece oturur olurdu bir masada, bir ba\u015f\u0131na. Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131zla selamla\u015f\u0131rd\u0131n\u0131z her zaman. En \u00e7ok onunla \u00c7erkesce konu\u015fmay\u0131 severdin. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc sen \u00e7ocuklarla ve k\u00f6peklerle \u00c7erkesce konu\u015fmay\u0131 severdin. Kirami, \u00e7ocuklar ve k\u00f6pekler senin o bozuk, sonradan \u00f6\u011frenilmi\u015f, berbat telaffuzlu \u00c7erkesce’ni anlarlar ya da anlarm\u0131\u015f gibi yaparlar ve seninle alay etmeden sana g\u00fcl\u00fcmserlerdi. Lokalin gazetesini masalar\u0131n aras\u0131nda kah s\u00fcr\u00fcnerek, kah milletin s\u0131rt\u0131n\u0131 e\u011fip b\u00fckerek bulur, \u015f\u00f6yle sert bir hareketle gazetenin sayfalar\u0131n\u0131 sana do\u011fru hafif bir meyille e\u011filecek bir bi\u00e7ime soktuktan sonra Ercan a\u011fabeye seslenirdin.<\/p>\n

\uf02d- Ercan a\u011fabey! Bana ve Kirami’ye \u00e7ay getir. Ne o, yoksa \u00e7ay borcumuz varda haberimiz mi? Yok, niye bakm\u0131yorsun bize?
\n– Olur mu efendim hemen geliyor \u00e7aylar.<\/p>\n

Sonra elindeki tepsiyle bir \u015fark\u0131 m\u0131r\u0131ldanarak \u00e7ay oca\u011f\u0131na ge\u00e7erdi Ercan a\u011fabey…<\/p>\n

\uf02d- Ben i\u00e7eeerrriiimm banaaaaaaa getiiiiiiiirr.<\/p>\n

Ercan a\u011fabeyin arkas\u0131ndan bakmasan bile, elindeki gazeteye ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6mersin. Sanki gazetede okudu\u011fun haberlerdeki insanlar yan\u0131nda oturan Kirami’den daha \u00e7ok ilgiyi hak ediyorlarm\u0131\u015f gibi. Oysa biz bu derne\u011fin lokalinde can havliyle bir birimize sar\u0131lmam\u0131z gerekirken, i\u00e7imizde en \u00e7ok ilgiyi ve \u015fefkati hak eden bu zavall\u0131 insandan esirgiyoruz sevgimizi. Zavall\u0131 Kirami, k\u00f6yden kente g\u00f6\u00e7\u00fcn travmas\u0131n\u0131 atlatamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Bu yeni ya\u015fama ayak uydurmakta g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fck \u00e7ekiyordu besbelli. Sense b\u00fct\u00fcn di\u011fer hem\u015ferileri gibi onun ruhunda kopan f\u0131rt\u0131nalardan habersizdin. \u00c7ok sosyal olununca psikoloji \u0131skalan\u0131yordu maalesef. Esenlerin her taraf\u0131nda kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fabilirdiniz onunla, ellerini beline koyar, ba\u015f\u0131ndaki kasketi ve tuhaf bak\u0131\u015f\u0131yla zaman zaman insanlar\u0131 korkutur ama onun zarars\u0131z oldu\u011funu anlayan ve bilen insanlar onun varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 yad\u0131rgamazlard\u0131. Derne\u011fin lokalinde onunla \u015fakala\u015fmay\u0131 seven bir ka\u00e7 insanla \u015fakala\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde onunla ilgilenen insanlara kar\u015f\u0131 minnet duyard\u0131n. Onunla sigara al\u0131\u015f veri\u015fleriniz olurdu bazen, elini dudaklar\u0131na g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcr sigara i\u015fareti yapar, sende paketinden bir sigara uzat\u0131rd\u0131n, bir yandan m\u0131r\u0131ldan\u0131rken bir yanda da ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 h\u0131zl\u0131 h\u0131zl\u0131 evet manas\u0131nda sallamas\u0131 onun te\u015fekk\u00fcr i\u015faretiydi. Bazen dalm\u0131\u015f ya oyun oynayanlar\u0131 seyrederken ya da gazete okurken bir el koluna dokunurdu, ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131nda Kirami’yi g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fcn, elindeki sigaray\u0131 sana uzatm\u0131\u015f olurdu. Sigara sosyal bir al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131kt\u0131 ve Kirami’nin tek ya\u015fam bi\u00e7imiydi.<\/p>\n

Onun ruhunda kopan f\u0131rt\u0131nay\u0131 ilk ne zaman fark ettin? Derne\u011fin lokalinde yan masada oturanlar\u0131n oyununa bakarken bir el omzuna dokundu arkan\u0131 d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde onu g\u00f6rd\u00fcn. Kirami b\u00fcy\u00fck bir sevin\u00e7le o ne dedi\u011fi tam anla\u015f\u0131lmayan T\u00fcrk\u00e7e’siyle sana televizyonu g\u00f6steriyordu. Sende y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc televizyona d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde onun ruhunda kopan f\u0131rt\u0131nay\u0131 b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00e7\u0131plakl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla g\u00f6rd\u00fcn. Onun sana televizyonda hararetle g\u00f6sterdi\u011fi \u015fey bir koyun s\u00fcr\u00fcs\u00fcnden ba\u015fka bir \u015fey de\u011fildi. \u0130\u015fte o anda k\u00f6yden \u015fehre g\u00f6\u00e7\u00fcn insanlar \u00fczerinde yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 tahribat\u0131 ve Kirami’nin nas\u0131l bir \u00f6zlem cehenneminde yan\u0131p tutu\u015ftu\u011funu anlad\u0131n ve o an\u0131 bir daha hi\u00e7 unutmad\u0131n.<\/p>\n

Aradan aylar ge\u00e7tikten sonra onu uzun zamandan beri g\u00f6rmedi\u011fini fark edip, Ercan a\u011fabeye onu son zamanlarda g\u00f6r\u00fcp g\u00f6rmedi\u011fini sordu\u011funda ise, onun hasta evde yatt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6\u011frendin, hatta kanser oldu\u011funu duyduklar\u0131n\u0131 da. Uzunyayla-\u0130stanbul aras\u0131nda k\u0131r\u0131k bir ya\u015fam ve g\u00f6\u00e7 \u00f6yk\u00fcs\u00fcyd\u00fc onun hayat\u0131. Belki herkes onun kadar uyum sorunu ya\u015famad\u0131 ama her g\u00f6\u00e7menin i\u00e7inde ve ruhunda bir k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131k ve bir \u00f6zlem ate\u015fi i\u00e7in i\u00e7in, kor halinde de olsa yanmaya devam ediyor. Uzunyayla’n\u0131n \u00c7erkesleri gibi son derece sosyal ve birlikte ya\u015fayan bir toplumda bile ciddi anlamda bir travma yarat\u0131yor.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tolgay Kaya Ben Kirami’yi İstanbul’da, Uzunyayla Kafkas Kültür Derneği’nde tanıdım. Tam manasıyla tanışmamız; derneğin o çok eleştirilen ve kalksın mı kalkmasın mı tartışmaları her zaman gündemde olan lokalinde oldu. Derneğin o dik merdivenlerden çıktın yorgun argın, bu karmakarışık şehrin içinde kendini iyice yalnız hissederek gezdin durmadan. Kalabalığın içine attığın her adım seni daha bir yalnızlaştırdı 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